Don’t Bring Your Baggage To The Store

| Allentown, PA, USA | Right | February 1, 2017

(I’m in line at the customer service desk waiting to make a return.)

Customer: “I left my shopping bag in here with all my coupons and glasses in it and I can’t drive home without them.”

Employee: “The only bag we have back there is this one.” *holds up a generic folded canvas tote*

Customer: “No, no, mine is one of your store brand reusable plastic bags with my glasses and coupons in it.”

Employee: “Well, I’m sorry, but this is the only one that has been turned in.”

Customer: “I already told you that isn’t mine! Look around back there. I know you have mine.”

Employee: “No, ma’am. I promise if I had another one, I would have shown it to you. Did you perhaps set it somewhere while you were shopping?”

Customer: “No, it was in my cart the whole time and when I put my things in the car, it wasn’t in the cart anymore. You have it back there, so just give it to me!”

Employee: “I don’t have your bag. This canvas one is the only one I have.”

Customer: “You’re not listening to me. Mine is a plastic one; I don’t want that canvas bag.”

Employee: “No, I’m not trying to give you the canvas bag; I’m just saying this is the only bag I have. Please check your car or where you were in the store. Maybe it fell out of the cart.”

Customer: *storming off* “This store’s a bunch of thieves! Stealing coupons from an old lady and expecting me to drive home without my glasses.”

Scored Politeness Points

| Germany | Working | January 26, 2017

(While shopping for groceries, I notice an advertisement at the corner of an aisle, saying ‘Buy four Coffee Product, get a free cloth bag!’ Since I like to use cloth bags for my groceries and mine recently tore, I decide to take advantage of the offer. The store also has a promotion going on where you receive ‘loyalty points’ – actually little stickers – for every 5€ spent. Once you have collected 25 points, you can turn them in for one of several rewards. I have just gotten in line when another cashier calls me over. Her till is a bit hidden by a shelf, so I don’t notice her at first.)

Me: “Oh, hey! Sorry for overlooking you. You were quite well hidden there.”

Cashier: “Of course, I was actively hiding after all.” *laughs* “Just kidding.”

Me: *also laughing* “Don’t worry, I’ll be good.”

(She scans my groceries and tells me the final price. I notice there’s no mention of a bag and cautiously inquire:)

Me: “Can I ask a question? I saw an advertisement in the store that one gets a free bag with the purchase of four [Coffee Product]. Is that offer still good?”

Cashier: “Oh, dear, wait a moment.” *she checks under her till, then turns to her neighbouring cashier* “Do you still have any bags left from the [Coffee Product] promotion?”

Other Cashier: “No, sorry. I ran out, too.”

(They ask the third cashier currently working, but it turns out the whole store has been out of those bags for at least one day. I must have looked crestfallen, since the cashier apologises several times. While I’m really a bit sad about missing out on the bags, and likely wouldn’t have bought that much [Coffee Product] otherwise, I see no use in complaining about something that wasn’t her fault.)

Me: “Ah, don’t worry. it’s okay! At least I don’t have to buy coffee again until next year.”

Cashier: “I’m still sorry about this. The store manager should really have taken down the sign.”

(She makes a call for the manager, then hands me about twenty loyalty points, the equivalent of a 100€ purchase.)

Cashier: “Here’s a little something to make up for it.”

(I thanked her sincerely and bagged my groceries. With those points I’ll soon be able to get a cake-pan my significant other has been eyeing, right in time for Christmas!)

Rebutted In Less Than Thirty Seconds

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | January 25, 2017

(I am working the opening shift and our store opens at eight am. After we set up the cash registers, my manager unlocks the doors at exactly eight am. We both stay up the front unpacking new catalogues when an angry customer comes racing up to us.)

Customer: “I demand to see the store manager immediately!”

Manager: “That would be me. How may I help?”

Customer: “You are supposed to open at eight am! Yet you didn’t and I wish to file a complaint!”

(Both my manager and I are in shock, as the clock in the store said eight am and both our watches said the same.)

Manager: “I am sorry, but I do believe we did open at eight am.”

Customer: “No, you f****** didn’t! It was 30 seconds past eight am when you opened! I am in a hurry and do not have the time to wait for you losers to get off your fat a**es and open the store!”

(The customer keeps going on for over half an hour about how we opened 30 seconds past eight am. During this time my manager is trying to listen to her and calm her down while I serve customers who are all watching in disbelief. After I finish serving an elderly customer she approaches the angry customer.)

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, but how do you know that your watch wasn’t 30 seconds fast?”

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Don’t Chew The Fat With Me If You Can’t Handle It

| OR, USA | Right | January 18, 2017

(I’ve recently given birth to a gorgeous baby girl, and while I’ve now returned to my job, I haven’t yet managed to shed the weight I put on during my pregnancy.)

Customer: “D***, you’ve really gotten fat!”

Me: *silently checking out his purchases*

Customer: “I mean, I’ve only been coming here for like a year so that is some incredible weight gain!”

Me: *just shrugs and keeps scanning his purchases*

Customer: “So…what’s the deal? Boyfriend left ya? Job getting to ya? Feeling like the only reason for living is to get to the bottom of your third tub of ice cream?”

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

(The customer doesn’t pull out his wallet just yet.)

Customer: “Well, are you gonna answer me, whale?”

Me: “First off, let me ask this: what is your endgame here?”

Customer: “Huh? My what?”

Me: “Your endgame. What do you hope to accomplish by insulting and belittling me here? Because so far all you’re doing is making yourself look like a complete idiot to everyone around you.”

(The customer turns and notices the rest of the line is staring at him, some in shock and some in quiet disdain.)

Customer: “I… uh… well… so you know you’re a fat-a** and do something about it!”

Me: “I am doing something about it. I put on this weight because I was pregnant. Now I’m hitting the gym at least four times a week so I’ll no doubt lose it again.”

Customer: “Well… uh… I dunno, then! I didn’t think you were going to quiz me about this!”

Me: “Your total is still [price].”

Customer: “No! F*** you, fat b****! Now I feel bad and it’s all your fault!”

(He storms off, leaving me to have to void his entire transaction.)

Me: “I apologize for this. It won’t take me more than a minute.”

Next Customer In Line: “How… How did you keep your cool through that?”

Me: “Ten hours of labor and a baby that made every bit of pain totally worth it. After that, it takes a lot more than a moron’s poorly chosen words to hurt me.”

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Animal Retraction

| OR, USA | Working | January 17, 2017

(I work as a cashier in a grocery store. I’m always in check stand #1 so I have a particularly good view of the entrances. It is common for people to bring animals into the store (usually dogs, but occasionally cats or even a rat!) even though the store includes food preparation areas, and therefore non-service animals are not allowed by law. When I see someone with an animal that doesn’t look like a service animal, I page my manager to let her handle the situation. I’m known among my coworkers for my accuracy and observation skills. Until this happens…)

Me: “I just saw a woman come in and it looks like she had some sort of animal in her jacket.”

Manager: “Uh oh.”

Me: “It was all wrapped up and had some sort of yellow hat covering its head. I couldn’t tell what it was. Maybe a cat?”

Manager: “Okay, I’ll go check it out. Thanks.”

(Several minutes pass and then my manager comes back smiling.)

Manager: “Was the woman with the animal that you saw with another woman?”

Me:”Yes.”

Manager: “That was a baby in her jacket.”

Me: *blinks* “Well, in my defense it looked brown and furry.”

Manager: *laughs* “Okay, well, I won’t tell her what you said about her baby.”

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