Knows The Type All Too Well

, , , , , | Right | July 10, 2019

(I’m working with my manager, a roughly 40-year-old woman who is really pretty. Things are rather slow, and a tipsy man stumbles up and orders a beer.)

Customer: “Hey, you guys must be really lonely here; it must be so boring.”

Me: “We’re okay; we’re working.”

Customer: “I have a lot of money, you know. I’m really high up at work.”

Me: *hands him his change* “That’s nice.”

Customer: “Like, a lot of money.” *sees my manager* “Oh, hello, you’re just my type.”

Manager: *slams down his beer and stares coldly at him* “I’m everybody’s type.”

(I was too busy laughing to see the man’s reaction, but we didn’t hear from him again.)

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A Deficiency In Efficiency

, , , , , , | Working | May 10, 2019

(I’m out shopping and I enter a store, where [Clerk #1] asks me if I need help and I politely tell her I’m just looking. She leaves me alone. I turn around, but I hear this exchange:)

Clerk #2: “Hey, do you need any—“

Clerk #1: “Don’t ask! I’ve already asked her!”

Clerk #2: “Oh, my God, we’re so efficient.”

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A Bad Sample Of Humanity

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2019

(I work in a tea salon that also used to sell cakes. We’d cut up some and offer them as samples. Two young teenage girls approach my shop just as I’m cutting more samples.)

Girl #1: “Are you out of samples?”

Me: “I’m just cutting up more; they’ll be done in a second.”

Girl #2: “Good!”

Me: *finishes cutting and putting all the samples on a tray and puts it forward for the girls to take one*

Girl #2: *looks briefly at her friend, then promptly slams her hand down on the tray, grabbing an entire handful of samples, and sprints off, laughing*

Girl #1: “OH, MY GOD!” *sprints after her friend without taking a sample*

Me: “What… the f***?”

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Beggars Belief How Rich They Are

, , , , , | Friendly | November 28, 2018

(I am a university student, and money is beyond tight. I am walking through the station, catching a train home for the holidays, when a beggar stops me, asking for money.)

Beggar: “Hey, you. I need money for a ticket; can you spare me a tenner?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have any coins on me.”

Beggar: “That’s okay; I can easily break a hundred for you.”

Me: “Then you have more money than me, so no. Goodbye.”

(She followed me, cursing at me all through the station, until I detoured past a couple of police officers walking by and slipped away.)

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The Terrible-Twos And The Terrible Parents

, , , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I work at the self-service checkout. A mother and her young son, probably around two years old, come and start scanning their items. The son is very energetic and he starts to climb up on the part of the machine that weighs the items. A messages pops up on the screen saying that there’s an unknown item in the bagging area.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, but this part of the machine is actually a scale, so when your son is climbing around on it, it gets all confused. You won’t be able to continue to scan until he’s down from there.”

(The mom doesn’t speak very good Danish and is obviously a little confused, but she grabs her son and puts him on the floor. He immediately runs out of the self-service area and stands at the front end of the store. The mother looks after him, but then continues her scanning, so I follow the boy to keep an eye on him. Usually, kids will run over to the bakery department to look at cakes, but not this boy. When he sees I’m following him, he starts to run, laughing, towards the store exit. Even though I’m not supposed to leave the self-service area, I decide to follow him, to see if he is actually going to leave the store. I doubt that he will, but our store is placed on a very busy street that has a lot of both bikes and cars. The boy runs out of the store, and I start running after him. I almost lose him out on the sidewalk, because there are people everywhere, but I manage to grab him right before he enters the busy bike lane. I pick him up, and he grins at me. I carry him back into the store and give him to his mother.)

Me: “You better hold on to him. I just got to him before he ran out onto the road.”

Mother: “Oh, okay.”

(She picked him up and held him for the rest of the transaction. I didn’t get a thank-you.)

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