Knows The Type All Too Well

, , , , , | Right | July 10, 2019

(I’m working with my manager, a roughly 40-year-old woman who is really pretty. Things are rather slow, and a tipsy man stumbles up and orders a beer.)

Customer: “Hey, you guys must be really lonely here; it must be so boring.”

Me: “We’re okay; we’re working.”

Customer: “I have a lot of money, you know. I’m really high up at work.”

Me: *hands him his change* “That’s nice.”

Customer: “Like, a lot of money.” *sees my manager* “Oh, hello, you’re just my type.”

Manager: *slams down his beer and stares coldly at him* “I’m everybody’s type.”

(I was too busy laughing to see the man’s reaction, but we didn’t hear from him again.)

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A Deficiency In Efficiency

, , , , , , | Working | May 10, 2019

(I’m out shopping and I enter a store, where [Clerk #1] asks me if I need help and I politely tell her I’m just looking. She leaves me alone. I turn around, but I hear this exchange:)

Clerk #2: “Hey, do you need any—“

Clerk #1: “Don’t ask! I’ve already asked her!”

Clerk #2: “Oh, my God, we’re so efficient.”

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A Bad Sample Of Humanity

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2019

(I work in a tea salon that also used to sell cakes. We’d cut up some and offer them as samples. Two young teenage girls approach my shop just as I’m cutting more samples.)

Girl #1: “Are you out of samples?”

Me: “I’m just cutting up more; they’ll be done in a second.”

Girl #2: “Good!”

Me: *finishes cutting and putting all the samples on a tray and puts it forward for the girls to take one*

Girl #2: *looks briefly at her friend, then promptly slams her hand down on the tray, grabbing an entire handful of samples, and sprints off, laughing*

Girl #1: “OH, MY GOD!” *sprints after her friend without taking a sample*

Me: “What… the f***?”

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Beggars Belief How Rich They Are

, , , , , | Friendly | November 28, 2018

(I am a university student, and money is beyond tight. I am walking through the station, catching a train home for the holidays, when a beggar stops me, asking for money.)

Beggar: “Hey, you. I need money for a ticket; can you spare me a tenner?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have any coins on me.”

Beggar: “That’s okay; I can easily break a hundred for you.”

Me: “Then you have more money than me, so no. Goodbye.”

(She followed me, cursing at me all through the station, until I detoured past a couple of police officers walking by and slipped away.)

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Unfiltered Story #122763

, | Unfiltered | October 8, 2018

(I worked last year in a small store where everything was already ridiculously cheap and we have discounts on most things. One day, a customer points to a lamp we’re selling)

Customer: “I want that lamp, but it’s too expensive, can you give me a discount?”

Me: “No, I’m not authorised to do that.”

Customer: “Please? I live very far away and I won’t be back here, please give me a discount.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, I can’t give you a discount.”

Customer: “Come on you’ll still make money! I really want it, and I can’t come back here.”

Me: “I’m really sorry but I seriously can’t do that, we’ll still get the lamp sold for the actual price, so if you bought it for a further discount, we’d lose money.”

Customer: “Yeah but I really want it! And I won’t be back here again! Just let me buy it for a discount, I’m already buying other things. Come on.”

(I’m starting to lose my patience, when my boss happens to arrive and has heard some of the transaction)

Boss: “It’s okay ma’am, you can have it for a discount.”

Customer: “Than you! I really won’t be back here.”

(after she’s left)

Me: “Why’d you do that?”

Boss: “She was annoying.”