(I am working electronics and a man comes in asking about our TVs.)

Customer: “So, which one is your biggest?”

Me: “Which type did you want? We’ve got LCD—“

Customer: “Just the biggest.”

Me: *takes him over* “Well, this RCA is a bit clunky for a flat-screen, but it’s definitely the biggest one we have.”

Customer: “Great, I’ll take it.”

Me: “Okay, just give me a moment and I’ll have someone from maintenance to help get a boxed one from the back for you.”

(The guy working maintenance and I go to get the TV loaded onto a flat-bed trolley and he wheels it out for the customer.)

Customer: “Great! I’ve got some other stuff I want to get, so I’ll just bring that with me while I shop.” *goes to take the trolley*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you have to pay for that here. We can’t allow electronics items out of the department without being paid for.”

Customer: “But I have other things I have to get!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You have to either pay for it now or leave it here while you go get your other items and then we can have it brought to you at the front check-outs, but I can’t allow you to wheel it out without paying for it.”

(He instantly gets in my face, yelling about how this is terrible customer service, pointing at me threateningly, and telling me he’ll go elsewhere unless I let him wheel it out. This is setting off so many red flags for me, I stick to my guns.)

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir, but that is our policy and I can’t change it.”

Customer: “Fine! Then I’m never coming back!”

(He stares at me for a moment, as though hoping I’ll cave, but I just stare back, and then he turns and leaves. I don’t think he is out of earshot, but he keeps walking after I immediately turn to the maintenance guy and say:)

Me: “How much you want to bet he was going to try to steal it? Go get [Floor Manager].”

(While waiting for [Floor Manager], I immediately wrote down everything about the encounter, including a description of the guy, as best I could. I also phoned our other location across the river, as well as other stores in town that sell TVs, giving them a heads-up. In the end, I found out that the guy tried at another chain which I hadn’t thought of, because I didn’t know they sold TVs. He wasn’t successful there, either.)

A customer comes up to customer service while I’m running it and shows me a jar of peanut butter. He thinks it’s on sale, but isn’t sure because there isn’t a tag for it on the shelf. I start off sceptical because usually, if there’s no tag there’s no sale, but I grab a nearby flyer for the week’s sales to double check. I’m pleasantly surprised to find peanut butter on sale that is a different flavour pictured, but the same brand and size as the man’s. I tell him that in all likelihood the jar he has will be on sale, but he isn’t certain. Since it’s not busy, I get someone to cover customer service while I take the man to the aisle to observe the situation.

In the aisle, I find all the flavours of peanut butter of that brand and size marked with sale tags except for his own. I tell him that despite this, odds are that the one he chose simply had its tag knocked off by a passing customer and that I can personally guarantee that it is on sale. But the man still isn’t sure.

I then see a clerk walking by, one who I know regularly puts up the new sale tags every time the sales change, and grab him to ask him. He tells us both that the peanut butter the customer grabbed is absolutely the correct kind, as he remembers clearly putting up tags on every single flavour, including the one in question. The man leaves, but he still looks uncertain. About twenty minutes later, after the man finished his shopping, he comes back to customer service and thanks me for all my help, but informs me that he put the peanut butter back because he “only wanted it if it was on sale.”

I just find it amusing that in the five years I’ve worked at this store, the only time the customer was ever right they managed to make themselves wrong in the end, anyway!

(While doing some running around, I decide to treat myself. It’s spring and milkshakes are available at the local burger place. I use the drive-thru and order a small chocolate one, and while I’m waiting, another vehicle pulls up. I notice because their music is loud and I can see them rocking out in their car. It is bright outside and while I can see there are two people, I cannot make out any details to identify them. I pull up to the window.)

Worker: “It’s free. Have a good day.”

Me: “Really?”

Worker: “Really.”

Me: “Okay. Is it a promotional thing or something?”

Worker: “No.”

Me: “Okay, then why is it free?”

Worker: “Oh, your friend is paying for it.”

Me: “My friend?”

Worker: *clearly getting annoyed* “Yes, your friend in the car behind you. Have a nice day.”

(She closes the window before I can say another word. I pull forward, trying to see who is in the car behind me, but with the sun reflecting I can’t see into the vehicle. It gets to the point that either I continue blocking the drive-thru or I give up. The drive-thru is full, so I decide it’s best to keep moving. I leave the drive-thru, and about a block later my cell goes off. I arrive at my next stop, check my messages, and reply)

Best Friend: “Figure out who paid for your shake yet?”

Me: “No. I couldn’t see into the car; the sun was reflecting too much.”

Best Friend: “That sucks. Is the chocolate shake at least good?”

(I finally realized she was the one who’d bought my shake and I thanked her. FYI: she’s still laughing at me.)

(I work at a pool where people can directly call the lifeguard office if they have questions. We only answer it if we’re off rotation and we don’t use it that much, but sometimes we do get some interesting calls.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Facility]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I am wondering how warm your pool is.”

Me: “Well, our health a safety policy is to keep the pool between 82 and 88 degrees.”

Customer: “So… how warm is it?”

Me: “Well, it could be any of those temperatures within that range. If you want, I can check and see what the results were the last pool test?”

Customer: “That would be great. Thank you.”

(I go and check; our pool is at 85 degrees. I come back and tell her.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s it? Is there ever a time that’s it warmer?”

Me: “Uh, what do you mean?”

Customer: “Like, do you turn up the temperature for a certain part of the day?”

(This is the moment where I know this will be a long call.)

Me: “Unfortunately, we can’t do that. We are a 75-metre pool and it takes days to increase or decrease the temperature. In fact, when we have competitive swim events, we have to cool the pool down at least three days before it starts.”

Customer: *gasps* “You make it colder?”

Me: “Well, if we don’t, people swimming fast will overheat.”

Customer: “What about the leisurely swimmers? Since you turn down the temperature for those events, couldn’t you turn it up for us swimming leisurely?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no. You see, when we have those competitive swim events, the entire pool is shut down to the public, which is why we can do it. There are still a lot of programs happen throughout the day here, that we can’t turn up the temperature.”

Customer: “Okay… so, that’s as warm as it will go?”

Me: “Yes, but we do have a hot tub and a smaller pool that run warmer. The hot tub is around 95 degrees or more and the smaller pool is 90 to 95.”

Customer: “Hmm… So, how warm is it?”

Me: “Uh, anywhere between those ranges.”

Customer: “Can you check and see what the temperature is today? Like you did for the pool.”

Me: *internally screaming* “Of course.”

(I go and check, relaying the info back to her.)

Customer: “Now, how deep is the smaller pool?”

Me: “At its deepest, it is about three feet.”

Customer: “Three feet? That’s pretty small for an exercise pool.”

Me: “Well, normally, that pool is used for little kids and parents.”

Customer: “Oh, I see… So, it’s not a workout pool for seniors?”

Me: “It is open to the public, so it can be used by anybody.”

Customer: “Hmm, okay. Well, I’m asking all these questions because at [Other Pool in Other Part of Town], it is a lot warmer.”

Me: “Is that the therapy pool attached to [Local Care Home]?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s only for adults and it’s perfect for leisurely swimmers. Do you have anything like that?”

(The pool she is mentioning is about ten feet in length and never gets deeper than five feet. We are a 75-metre pool with diving towers, rope swings, a water slide, and various programs for adults and youths. In other words…)

Me: “No, I’m very sorry, but we don’t have a pool like that here. We do have a lot of programs for seniors, though, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “Thanks, but no thanks. You should see about making something like that in the future at your pool.”

(I recommend you just go to that other pool, lady.)

(We have just recently changed the store around, so many people are getting confused as to where stuff is. This older gentleman comes in and is looking at the videos, but looks really confused.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: *in a very thick Irish accent* “Why the f*** did you ask me that? Do I look like a f****** thief to you? All you Canadians are the same and so rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry I offended you, sir, I was just asking, as we recently rearranged the store, so I thought you may need some help.”

Customer: “I don’t care. You are so f****** rude! They don’t do that where I come from!”

(He walks out. I then have a regular customer come up:)

Regular: “What the h*** was his problem?”

Me: “I don’t know. I guess he didn’t like me being polite and trying to help him.”