Doesn’t Float Their Boat

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I work at a popular fast food joint, and wasn’t trained before I started working. Because of that, I have to ask my coworkers quite a few questions about how to change what the combo drink or side is. A woman around fifty with her teenage son comes up to my till.)

Customer: “I’d like a [popular burger] combo with an ice cream float, please.”

(I’ve only been working for a few days, and I’m not sure that it is possible to include a float as a drink, so I pull my more knowledgeable coworker over to help me change the drink. We’re having the conversation loud enough for the woman to clearly hear that we’re changing the drink from a soda to a float, and she says nothing. Once her tray with her burger and float are out, anger ensues.)

Customer: “Hey, this isn’t what I ordered. I ordered a g**d***** burger combo with a float.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I’ve given you.”

Customer: “F***! How f****** dumb can you be? I ordered a burger combo with a float.”

(The coworker who helped me process the order comes over to see what’s going on.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “THIS G**D***** IDIOT F***** UP MY ORDER! I DEMAND THAT I GET A REFUND AND A FREE BURGER FOR MY SON. I ORDERED A BURGER COMBO WITH A FLOAT.”

(Apparently, the woman wanted a burger combo with the regular soda and a float on the side. Never did she say anything about me changing what the drink was on her combo. About half an hour after she leaves, she comes back and hands me a dollar.)

Customer: “I’m sorry that I snapped, but I expect you to never f*** up my order again.”

(We never saw her again.)

What A Childish Display

, , , , | Right | January 6, 2019

(I am shopping around at my local electronics store. I witness a strange conversation between a customer and an employee.)

Customer: “I want the earphones in the display.”

Employee: “For sure. Give me a moment and I’ll get the keys for the display. Which earphones do you want?”

Customer: “Black ones. I want to take them with me while I shop.”

Employee: “Sorry, we have a policy about items in displays; we have to bring them to the cashier, and then you can check them out.”

(As the employee takes out the earphones, the customer keeps trying to take the earphones from the employee like a little child.)

Customer: “You know what? Forget it. I do not want them anymore.” *storms out of the store for no reason*

Me: “Well, that was strange and funny at the same time.”

Employee: “Welcome to retail.”

It’s A Christmas Carol Miracle

, , , , | Working | December 25, 2018

(I am a cashier and it’s Christmas time. For some reason, we can’t hear the music at the tills so, trying to stay sane, I’m singing Christmas carols. My coworkers are having fun bugging me about my singing — “You’re scaring the customers out of the store,” “My ears are bleeding,” etc. On my lunch, I grab some things I need and go through the till. I pay, and the till freezes. Normally it just takes a minute to unfreeze, and in that time we get into the habit of threatening the computer.)

Me: “If you don’t start working, I’ll kick you, and I’m wearing my steel toes.”

Coworker: “Not scary enough.”

Me: “I’ll start singing again.”

(The computer instantly starts working.)

Coworker: *laughing* “Now that’s scary!”

Unable To Help Yourself

, , , , | Right | December 22, 2018

(I’m waiting in line at the self-checkout. I watch this exchange happen between an associate and two customers.)

Customer: “Ugh, I can’t get this—“ *gestures to bookshelf* “—onto the scanner to scan!”

Associate: *busy helping another customer*

Customer: *shouting* “Did you hear me?! I can’t get it to scan!”

Associate: *turns to face woman but doesn’t move closer* “Ma’am, there’s a hand scanner on top of the machine; use that.”

Customer: *huffy, grabs the scanner* “Well, what do I look like, a cashier?”

(Finally, the customer’s friend, who has been quiet the entire time, says:)

Customer’s Friend: “No, but you look like an idiot who doesn’t know how to use a self-checkout and throws a tantrum.”

(The customer got really quiet and left in a hurry after that!)

Refuse To Mead You In The Middle

, , , , , | Right | November 27, 2018

(Every year the pub I work at releases a special mead that causes a line going on for blocks at a time. The stuff is pretty potent, sitting at 10.5% alcohol, so people get thrashed fairly quickly on the stuff. Over the years, the owners have learned to cut people off after two half-pints, otherwise the bathrooms are covered in pink vomit every evening. A gentleman who has had his two half-pints approaches my two coworkers and me as we’re selling the off-sale bottles.)

Customer: *a little slurred* “Can I get mead here?”

Coworker #1: “Of course! If you come over to me I can ring through your receipt and—”

Customer: “Because they cut me off out there!”

(My coworkers and I stand there in awkward silence as he reaches out to grab a six pack.)

Me: “Oh, if you go see [Coworker #1], she can get you your receipt, and you can then take your mead!”

Customer: *stands there and gives me this hateful look of drunken rage*

Coworker #1: “Sir, if you come over here I can get you your receipt!”

(The customer slowly lets go of the six pack and stumbles over to the cash register, catching himself on the counter.)

Me: *whispering to [Coworker #2]* “Dude, I don’t like that he has car keys in his hand. He’s in no condition to drive whatsoever.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, that’s an accident waiting to happen.”

Customer: *while slurring badly* “I remember when we could drink as much mead as we wanted! I’d have a full pitcher of it!”

Coworker #1: “Well, we don’t do that anymore because sometimes people get a little bit crazy after too much to drink.”

(The customer takes his receipt and continues to yap about “the good days of bingeing” while grabbing his six pack and heading for the door. Luckily, as he is leaving, his son comes in and takes the six pack while carrying him out of the pub.)

Me: “Thank God somebody came to pick him up. The keys in his hands were making me nervous.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, I was about to offer to call him a cab before he got somebody killed.”

Page 1/1012345...Last