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You Fail To Plan Your Plans, You Plan To Fail

, , , , , , | Working | November 7, 2022

I was working my first real job as a cashier, but I was also trained in the grocery and fashion departments. For cashiers, it was our job to keep the candy section organized. The head cashier was responsible for doing any reorganization that was sent down from head office. My head cashier almost never did ours.

One day, we were informed that someone from the head office was coming, so [Head Cashier] was worked up over everything she had to do. It was a slow day, so I offered to do the reorganization for her since I knew how from working grocery. She gave me the paperwork without a thank-you and told me to do it quickly. As I worked, I marked up the paper. I was halfway done when I went to lunch.

While I was on my lunch, [Head Cashier] came in angrily waving a paper.

Head Cashier: “What do you think you are doing?!”

Shocked, I didn’t answer and stared at her.

Head Cashier: “You are doing the wrong plans!”

She then threw a paper at me.

Head Cashier: “This is the one you were doing! And this is the one you should be doing!”

And she threw the other.

I took a moment to look at the papers and saw that neither was the one I was doing since there was no writing or anything on them.

Me: “You are the one who gave me the paper before; I was doing exactly what you told me to do. And for the record, neither of these is the one I was doing.”

Head Cashier: “Well, this is the one you should be doing. You’d better fix it after you are done with your lunch!”

After lunch, I started over but shortly realized I was basically putting everything back.

One time, as [Head Cashier] walked past, I asked if she was sure it was the right one.

Head Cashier: “Just do as you’re told!”

About an hour later, I was almost done thanks to help from another cashier when [Head Cashier] came back.

Head Cashier: “Are you stupid? How hard is it to do your job properly?!”

Me: “What are you talking about? I’m doing exactly what you told me to do.”

Head Cashier: “It’s wrong!” *Holding up yet another paper* “This is the one you should be doing! Seriously, you are completely useless!”

To make it utterly clear, we were in the candy section surrounded by staff and customers.

Me: “I am sorry I am so useless and stupid. I was only trying to help you since there was so much to do, but since, technically, this is not my job, I will stop now and let you do it correctly.”

I then turned to the other cashiers and told them I was going on my coffee break.

I went to the back and the grocery supervisor, having heard the screaming, asked what was going on, so I told her.

Two days later, I was pulled into the manager’s office. Together, we realized that [Head Cashier] was like eight plans behind. First, she gave me something like plan five. Then, in the staff room, she accused me of doing plan three and made me do plan one. She actually ended up doing plan six herself, and the person from the head office noticed. If it had been plan seven, she could have claimed she hadn’t had time to switch it yet, but it was two plans off.

She was also told she cannot speak to me or any staff like that, especially in front of customers, and she was made to apologize to me in person and write me a letter. From then on, she was required to do all plans herself, and after that, no matter how crazy things were, no one ever offered to help her again.

Got The Green Light To Fix It

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2022

I am working at a local dealer for one of the province’s major cell phone providers. On top of selling cell phones, we also get a large number of people who come in because they have a problem with their phone they can’t solve themselves.

A customer comes in one day with one of these problems.

Customer: “I can’t use my camera. It’s all green.”

She gave me the phone and I opened the camera app. I saw that it was not a digital green. I turned the phone over and there was a green sticky note over the camera lens. I pulled it off and gave the phone back to the customer. She thanked me and laughed in disbelief as she walked out the door.

Must Have Traded In His Brain

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2022

I work at a dealership for one of the major cell phone service providers in the province. About an hour before closing, a customer comes in.

Me: “Hello there. What can I do for you tonight?”

Customer: “I want to trade in my phone for the newest iPhone.”

Me: “Of course.”

We go over all the pricing and everything he needs to know. He gets the iPhone he wants with all the accessories he needs for it. It is all paid for with the trade-in discount applied to the order. All his contacts, photos, and other information have been transferred to the new phone.

An hour has passed, which takes us just past closing. We go through and sign the contract. We are almost finished.

I put all of the customer’s things into a bag and am about to factory reset the old device.

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m going to factory reset the phone.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Since it’s no longer your phone, I have to wipe it for privacy concerns.”

Customer: “Wait. I don’t get to keep the phone?”

Me: *Thinking he can’t be serious* “No? You traded it in.”

Customer: “No. I still want to keep my old phone.”

Me: “…”

I cancelled the original order, refunded his money, and then redid everything without the trade-in promo.

By the time I was finished with that, he was out of my hair, and I finished closing the store, it was over an hour past closing. Overtime can be nice, but for me, it’s not because of dealing with stupidity. What did he think “trade-in” meant?!

Letting You Down Vegan And Again, Part 2

, , , , , | Working | July 15, 2022

I was visiting my daughter in her hometown. We’d gone for a walk and were starting to get hungry. We were approaching a strip mall with several restaurants, including a well-known franchise place. My daughter is a vegan, so she did a quick search on her phone for the restaurant’s menu to see if they had anything she could eat.

Daughter: “Ooh, they’ve got some good-sounding stuff.”

Me: “Cool, let’s eat here, then.”

We went in, ordered some drinks, and made our dinner choices after perusing the menu some more. We also considered ordering appetizers, but we weren’t sure if my daughter could eat them, so we decided to ask the server.

Server: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Are the onion rings vegan?”

Server: “Uhhh, I guess. They don’t have meat.”

Me: “But does the batter have dairy or eggs in it?”

Server: “I dunno.”

I considered asking her to go check with someone else, but we weren’t that bothered about getting an appetizer, so I let it go.

Daughter: “I’d like the [vegan pizza], please.”

Server: “We don’t have that anymore.”

Daughter: “Oh. Then I’ll have the [vegan pasta dish], please.”

Server: “We don’t have that, either.”

Daughter: “How about the [vegan burger]?”

Server: “Nope.” *Snickers* “We got rid of all that vegan stuff. You’re better off without it, anyway. It was awful. No one liked it.”

The vegan ingredients used in those dishes were brand-name items that I’d used in my own cooking many times. They’re definitely not “awful”.

Daughter: “Do you have any vegan entrees?”

Server: “Uh, you can have a salad, I guess.”

Daughter: “I’m going to need a minute.”

Server: “‘Kay.” *Leaves*

Me: “Forget this. Let’s just pay for our drinks and go.”

Daughter: “Sounds good.”

So, when the server came back…

Me: “We’d just like the check, please.”

Server: “Oh. Sorry about that.”

Daughter: “It’s okay. Maybe you guys should update your menu, though?”

Server: “That’s not up to me.”

Me: “No, we realize that.”

I was thinking, “Your not-great attitude IS up to you, though.”

We got a great meal elsewhere, but I was still annoyed about the experience at [Chain Restaurant], so I emailed them. The reply I got back was something like this:

Representative: “We’re very sorry to hear about the experience you had at our restaurant. We would have been able to make almost any dish vegan for your daughter, and the server should have known that and told you so. If you come back, we’ll be happy to tell you all about our vegan options. Also, here’s a $50 off coupon for your next visit.”

I passed the email and coupon off to my daughter (since the restaurant is in her hometown, not mine). I’ll be curious to find out what her next visit is like.

Letting You Down Vegan And Again

Honk If You Don’t Work Here

, , , , , , | Right | April 20, 2022

I am an assistant manager at our store. I’ve just started for the day when I hear a disturbing noise and take off toward it. I come around the corner to see a typical surfer dude in board shorts and a tie-dye T-shirt next to a middle-aged woman. The surfer dude is laughing maniacally and yelling at the top of his lungs.

Surfer:Honk! Dee daa dee daa! Hooooooooooooonk!

Woman: *Equally loud*You will respect me! Get me your manager! I will have you fired!

Me: “Both of you, please, stop. You’re disturbing other customers and scaring people!”

Surfer: “Sorry, man, I told her, like, um, a dozen times I don’t work here, and she just won’t stop bothering me.”

Woman: “Stop lying, you worthless piece of s***! You will respect me! You will do your job! I will have you fired!”

Surfer:Honk! Sorry… I tried communicating with her, but she’s just too crazy!”

Me: “Ma’am, he does not work here. Please leave him alone. And, sir, please, stop honking and just walk away! I am so sorry you’ve had to put up with this.”

Woman: *Turning on me* “No! He will not leave! He will do his d*** job! You’re in it with him! I will have you both fired! You won’t get away with this!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t stop screaming immediately, I will have to have you removed from the building and will call the police. Whatever the issue, nothing justifies your behavior. Please stop shouting!”

At that time, the surfer dude turns and starts walking away. The woman immediately shrieks and rams her trolley into him. He’s a big guy, but she sends him flying and he cuts himself as he falls.

Woman: “You will not leave! You don’t turn your back on me! You will respect me!”

The surfer stands up dripping blood and starts walking toward her with murder in his eyes. Where moments before he’d been calm and laughing, he is suddenly very menacing. Fortunately, security arrives and various other people step between him and her.

Surfer: “That’s assault. She assaulted me and I am pressing charges. Call the police now.”

With security there, she was prevented from leaving, and when the police arrived and saw the video, she was arrested and charged with common assault and public nuisance. My manager gave the surfer dude a voucher for his troubles and he told us (backed up by video) that he had repeatedly told her that he did not work for us but she had followed him around the store for fifteen minutes yelling at him until he started honking back. Some people are just crazy.