Trying To Grease His Own Palms

, , , , , | Right | June 29, 2020

Customer: “I want my meal free for this!”

Me: “I’m… sorry, sir, what is the problem?”

Customer: “My burger is a little bit greasy.”

I work in the restaurant portion of, ostensibly, a truck stop. Burgers are greasy everywhere, but what do you expect? I examine the burger.

Me: “It doesn’t look any greasier than any of the other burgers we serve. It’s just the meat juices; it’s perfectly harmless.”

Customer: “It’s greasy, d*** you! I want my meal for free!”

Me: “Well, I could… get a napkin and soak up some of—”

Customer: “No, I want my meal free!”

Me: “Um, I’m not able to apply discounts to meals myself; I’ll have to get the manager for you. One moment.”

The guy started a scene and shouted quite a bit at the manager, who was adamant about not giving him a discount for acceptably-made food. The manager eventually kicked him out so he wouldn’t disturb the other customers and blacklisted his Trucker Rewards Card across our entire chain.

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The Emphasis Was On The “Can You Run” Part

, , , , | Right | June 29, 2020

For this particular group’s breakfast buffet, we put out a pitcher of orange juice on each table for the guests to help themselves.

Guest: “Hey, you! Waiter! C’mere!”

Me: “What can I do for you, sir?”

Guest: “Can you run and get me a glass of orange juice?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

I pick up his glass, pick up the pitcher of juice from his table, and pour it for him. The guest looks disappointed.

Guest: “ Oh. In that case, can you run and get me a glass of milk?”

Me: “Yes.” *eye-twitch*

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Unfiltered Story #194931

, , | Unfiltered | May 26, 2020

Customer: I’m just calling to tell you: I’m putting my computer on the grass.

Coworker: …sorry, what was that?

Customer: My computer doesn’t work. I’m putting it on the grass.

Coworker: Well, this is a [Computer Brand] customer support centre; I’d be happy to help…

Customer: Nope. I’m putting it on the grass! *hangs up*

(My stunned coworker told me what happened)

Me: You should’ve given her your address so she could send you the computer!

Sadly, This Conversation Is As Common As An Old Shoe

, , , | Right | May 20, 2020

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “I’m looking for shoes for my child. He’s nine years old.”

Me: “Do you know what size he is?”

Customer: “No. What size should I get?”

Me: “There is no average, since children all grow at different rates. Have you brought your child with you? We could measure his feet.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “So, what size shoes should I get?”

This conversation happens almost every day.

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Unfiltered Story #193879

, , | Unfiltered | May 8, 2020

I work in a dog boarding kennel, we are a large kennel with a few thousand clients, and “Charlie” is such a common name you mide as well be asking someone if they know “John from Canada”.

Custamer phones:

C- hi, I have my dog booked in with you but I need to change the date to a day earlier
Me- of coarse! Can I get your last name please?
C- its a dog..for boarding
M- yes I just need your last name to bring up your booking
C- it’s for boarding!
M- Um..yes I just need your name
C- oh! His name is Charlie
M- ok and what was YOUR name?
C- oh! I will spell it for you
M- perfect! So I will just get those dates changed for you!