Give Them 75 Meters And They’ll Demand A Mile

(I work at a pool where people can directly call the lifeguard office if they have questions. We only answer it if we’re off rotation and we don’t use it that much, but sometimes we do get some interesting calls.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Facility]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I am wondering how warm your pool is.”

Me: “Well, our health a safety policy is to keep the pool between 82 and 88 degrees.”

Customer: “So… how warm is it?”

Me: “Well, it could be any of those temperatures within that range. If you want, I can check and see what the results were the last pool test?”

Customer: “That would be great. Thank you.”

(I go and check; our pool is at 85 degrees. I come back and tell her.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s it? Is there ever a time that’s it warmer?”

Me: “Uh, what do you mean?”

Customer: “Like, do you turn up the temperature for a certain part of the day?”

(This is the moment where I know this will be a long call.)

Me: “Unfortunately, we can’t do that. We are a 75-metre pool and it takes days to increase or decrease the temperature. In fact, when we have competitive swim events, we have to cool the pool down at least three days before it starts.”

Customer: *gasps* “You make it colder?”

Me: “Well, if we don’t, people swimming fast will overheat.”

Customer: “What about the leisurely swimmers? Since you turn down the temperature for those events, couldn’t you turn it up for us swimming leisurely?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no. You see, when we have those competitive swim events, the entire pool is shut down to the public, which is why we can do it. There are still a lot of programs happen throughout the day here, that we can’t turn up the temperature.”

Customer: “Okay… so, that’s as warm as it will go?”

Me: “Yes, but we do have a hot tub and a smaller pool that run warmer. The hot tub is around 95 degrees or more and the smaller pool is 90 to 95.”

Customer: “Hmm… So, how warm is it?”

Me: “Uh, anywhere between those ranges.”

Customer: “Can you check and see what the temperature is today? Like you did for the pool.”

Me: *internally screaming* “Of course.”

(I go and check, relaying the info back to her.)

Customer: “Now, how deep is the smaller pool?”

Me: “At its deepest, it is about three feet.”

Customer: “Three feet? That’s pretty small for an exercise pool.”

Me: “Well, normally, that pool is used for little kids and parents.”

Customer: “Oh, I see… So, it’s not a workout pool for seniors?”

Me: “It is open to the public, so it can be used by anybody.”

Customer: “Hmm, okay. Well, I’m asking all these questions because at [Other Pool in Other Part of Town], it is a lot warmer.”

Me: “Is that the therapy pool attached to [Local Care Home]?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s only for adults and it’s perfect for leisurely swimmers. Do you have anything like that?”

(The pool she is mentioning is about ten feet in length and never gets deeper than five feet. We are a 75-metre pool with diving towers, rope swings, a water slide, and various programs for adults and youths. In other words…)

Me: “No, I’m very sorry, but we don’t have a pool like that here. We do have a lot of programs for seniors, though, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “Thanks, but no thanks. You should see about making something like that in the future at your pool.”

(I recommend you just go to that other pool, lady.)