We own an auto repair garage. During a stormy and very wet August, a guy calls and says he has a flat, but he has enough air to bring it to our garage for a tire repair.

My husband puts it on the hoist and takes off the tire, looks at it for about a minute, and then looks at the other three tires still on the car.

Husband: “Yeah, I can’t repair this; the tire is too worn and won’t hold a repair.”

Customer: “Why not?”

My husband points to the bald tire with metal showing.

Husband: “One: it’s a hole on the sidewall. Two: this tire is completely bald and unsafe. And three: it was a rock that punctured it.”

Customer: “But I wanted to keep this set on until November and then switch to my winters!”

Husband: “All your tires are in the same shape; they’re all unsafe. You need a new set immediately.”

The guy didn’t want to replace the tire, and my husband wanted nothing to do with it. He didn’t even charge him, but he did warn that any fix was a temporary solution and it couldn’t be driven over a certain speed, etc.

Three weeks later, the guy was still driving on it and the other three bald tires.

I am at work, finishing up my last shift at this job as I’ve recently been hired elsewhere. Our store closes at 9:00 and it is 8:58. As I am the only cashier, I’ve got a fairly long line-up, with one rude customer at the very front.

Customer: “You know, your [Greenhouse] is closed!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. My apologies, but we’re just about closed so they’ve started shutting down the departments and had to shut down the outdoor one some time ago. It will be open when [Store] opens at 9:00 am, though.”

Customer: “But I came all the way from [Nearby City]! I demand that you let me in right now!”

The city is less than a half-hour away.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know what to tell you. The department is closed and there’s no one there to open it or help you. And even if there was an employee working there, they wouldn’t have clearance to open the department. Just like I don’t have clearance.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Go open it for me right now!”

Me: “Ma’am, please listen to me. I have been at this job for two months. I am one of the newest cashiers. This is my last shift, we closed five minutes ago, and there’s a line-up behind you. Now, if you really think that getting into the [Greenhouse] is so important that you can’t make the drive out tomorrow, there’s a manager here. He’s waiting for me to finish up here so he can lock the store, and he’s over by customer service. I’m sure he’ll be happy to pretend to care. Next!”

Many years ago, I was shopping in a Canadian grocery store. As I wandered down the veg aisle, a lady in front of me started making weird, guttural noises. Then, her knees went all funny and I leapt in, caught her, and helped her to a bench.

Her face was red and she was sweating and, having just finished my first ever first aid course, I was sure she was having a seizure, so I checked her pulse — rapid — and prepared to call her an ambulance. But as I went to rush off, she grabbed my sleeve and told me not to.

I tried to explain that she was having a seizure and that she needed help.

I. Was. Wrong.

And this woman was so embarrassed that she accidentally told me the truth.

A friend of hers had given her something called a “love egg” and told her that it would give her a mild “happy” while she did the groceries. Instead, she went full O-face in the salad aisle. That explained the noises she was trying to suppress and that was why her knees had failed.

I was barely twenty at the time and had no idea what to do so I got her a glass of water and legged it. I hope that she learned from this experience, but I’m also kind of jealous; I mean, I have never once, in all my years, enjoyed a shopping trip that much.

I work customer service support for an insurance company. When adjusters aren’t available, we do our best, within our authority, to help our insured. An older lady calls about her home claim for water damage, and the adjuster is already on a call. I ask how I can help.

Caller: “I’m just confused, because the adjuster told me the cleaners would come tomorrow morning, but they showed up today!”

Me: “Oh, I see that the person in charge at the cleaners’ changed, so that might have changed the schedule. They didn’t call beforehand?”

Caller: *Already starting not to listen* “But the adjuster said they would come tomorrow! Are they coming today instead? Or are they coming tomorrow?”

Me: “Well, if they did the work today, they won’t come back tomorrow. Could they clean when they were there earlier? Or were you not available?”

Caller: “What? I don’t understand what you’re saying!”

Me: *A bit louder* “Were they able to clean when they came today?”

Caller: “I can’t understand you!”

Me: *Louder still* “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you not hear me well or don’t you understand what I’m asking?”

Caller: “Oh, now I understand you.” 

She doesn’t answer my question.

Caller: “So are they coming today, period?

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. Did they do the work?”

Caller: “The adjuster said they would come tomorrow morning!”

I’m giving up. All my coworkers around me are holding back laughter.

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Because they said they would come back tomorrow morning. I wasn’t ready. But I was confused!”

Me: *Mentally banging my head on the desk* “If they said they’re going to come back tomorrow, they will be back tomorrow.”

Caller: “Really?”

Me: “Really.”

Caller: “Okay. Goodbye.”

And she hung up! It was only nine am. Thankfully, those calls are rare.

This happens when everyone is going nuts for toilet paper. Everywhere in the mall is sold out. I work at a pet store where our vests are black with our logo on the front. I go into the dollar store to grab some items for the store. A lady grabs my arm.

Me: “Excuse me! Please let me go!”

Customer: “I need to find the toilet paper!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. You’re wearing the uniform.”

I’m clearly not. The uniform here is a green apron or vest. I’m clearly wearing a black vest — nothing similar at all.

Me: “This is my uniform for [Pet Store]. See?”

I show her the logo.

Customer: “No, I need help! You’re going to help me!”

She still has a hold of my arm and is trying to pull me with her.

Me: “Let me go or I will call security!”

Her grip gets stronger. The customer sees another employee that actually works there.

Customer: “This worker won’t help me!”

Employee: “That’s because she doesn’t work here. You okay, [My Name]? Do you need me to call a security guard?”

The lady’s grip loosens, and I get out.

Me: “I’m good.”

I turn to the lady.

Me: “Touch me again and I will break your arm.”

Customer: *To the employee* “You’re just going to let her say that to me? I want her fired!”

Employee: “Nope. I like her too much. Now get out of the store. You’re harassing my customers.”

Customer: “But…”

Employee: “Out.”

She finally left and I joked around with the employee and got my supplies. The customer later came into my pet store. She saw me and instantly turned around and left.