I work in a call centre for a gas and electric company, giving people quotes and switching them over if they like it.

On this call, a woman has already gone through a quote and is calling back to sign up. Even though she has already done a quote, I still need to go through our script for the terms and conditions, direct debit guarantees, etc. I am required to tell her all the legal stuff, and I’ll get into trouble if I don’t.

She interrupts me in an extremely posh and condescending accent.

Caller: “Oh, do we have to go through this? I am running late to pick up my disabled grandchild and don’t have time for this!”

Me: “I’m sorry! If you’re pressed for time, however, it will take no more than five minutes to go through this information and get your bank details put in and have everything set up for you.”

Caller: “I just don’t understand why you can’t just sign me up? I am late for picking up my disabled grandchild!”

Me: “Again, I am sorry, but it is part of my job to go through this information to make sure everything is to your liking before switching. I am legally required to tell you this. It will take no longer than five minutes.”

I continue a bit further into the script, and I get probably about thirty seconds into it.

Caller: “I do not have the time for this! You are making me late for picking up my disabled grandchild!”

Me: “There isn’t anything I can do if you can’t go through this information. I have to go through it before I sign you up and get your bank details.”

Caller: “You don’t understand! I do not have time for this! You are making me late for picking up my disabled grandchild! She is going to be wondering where I am, and you are making me late! My whole day’s schedule is going to be ruined!”

Me: “I’m sorry I couldn’t be much help, but I suggest you call back when you actually have a spare five minutes to go through this information, and whoever you speak to next will also be required to go through it with you.”

Caller: “I don’t understand why you can’t just skip it, but I do have to go. I am already late for picking up my disabled grandchild, and you have made me even later!” *Hangs up*

I just found it hilarious the way she constantly put emphasis on “disabled” like I didn’t understand her, or like I would break the rules and risk my job because of her situation. I don’t know why she thought it appropriate to call us during a time she was apparently so insanely busy that she couldn’t spare five minutes.

I’m originally from Sweden, and as such, Swedish is my native language. When I am twenty-four, I need a change, so I get a job in UK and move to a small town. I am working mainly with Swedish customers, and I am very insecure about my English abilities. I have a tendency to get my languages mixed up.

I am on a call and I suddenly need to clear my throat while speaking, so I do.

Caller: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sorry. I just got a cock in my throat.”

The Swedish expression is that you get a rooster in your throat, but I mixed the words up. The customer started laughing, I blushed, and my coworker next to me had to go offline because he was almost on the floor from laughing so hard.

I am a part of the central reservations team of a big hospitality company. I get a caller from one of our consolidated hotels.

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling Reservations, [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Do you have a Lost & Found department?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am!”

Guest: “I just wanna let you know that I lost my virginity in room 203.” *Click*

I work in an answering service. We answer for multiple companies, from medical accounts to employee call-off lines. We get all kinds of rude callers. We have an FAQ account for a program that allows people using a card to earn a dollar toward locally-grown fruits and veggies for every dollar they spend for up to $20.

Caller: “Can you tell me what vendors participate?”

Me: “Well, sir, you can ask the vendor at the farmers’ market or store if they participate, or you can see our list of vendors on our website at—”

Caller: *Interrupts* “I’m visually-impaired; just tell me the list.”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t have the list, sir, nor do I have access to the website. What I can do—”

Caller: *Interrupts* “I can’t see a computer! I don’t even own one! Don’t you understand how hard it is for a blind person?! How can you be so insensitive?! Are you a government program? Are you affiliated with any blind programs?!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience. What I can do is take a message and have someone return your call about that list.”

Caller: “Why didn’t you say so earlier? We could have been done with this.”

Me: *Trying not to scream* “Let me get your information.”

I get the info.

Caller: “Sorry about this. Just try to understand how hard it is for me. I’m too old for computers and can’t see.”

I look at my fifty-plus-year-old blind coworker at another station taking calls and using a computer.

Me: “Yes, sir, I understand it’s difficult.”

I work for a software company in customer support. We’ve encountered a rare fault that customers are reporting and we already have a clue what might be the reason, but we haven’t yet quite cracked the problem. I’m chatting with a customer trying to get essential information from them.

Me: “Who’s your Internet provider?”

Customer: “Firefox.”

Me: “That’s good that you’re using Firefox; that’s our recommended browser. Can you tell me which company provides your Internet connection?”

Customer: “Mozilla.”

Me: “Okay, good. Do you have your Internet connection with [Company #1], [Company #2], [Company #3], or maybe with some other company?”

Customer: “I don’t know why you’re asking all these questions from me!”

Me: “I’m sorry if I’ve been unclear. The issue you’re experiencing seems to be related to certain Internet providers and we’re trying to gather information so we can pinpoint exactly where the problem is and fix it. In order to do that, it would be really helpful if you could let me know your Internet provider.”

Customer: “I’ve told you already, it’s Firefox! I don’t know why you’re making this so hard. I just want this thing to work! Make it work!”

Related:
Not Quite As Fast As A Fox In A Fire