Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Maybe His Head Hurts Because It’s Empty?

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2023

I work in face-to-face tech support for a telecommunications company. This involves troubleshooting mobile broadband devices (and laptops), setting up email accounts, syncing mobile phones to computers, and giving tutorials on how all this sort of stuff works.

This guy, probably in his late twenties to early thirties, comes in with his laptop and USB broadband modem.

Customer: “I need this looked at. After about an hour of using it, I start to get really bad headaches.”

Me: “Don’t you think it would be a much better idea to see a doctor about this instead of coming to a [Company] store?”

Customer: “No! It’s my USB modem, and there could be no other explanation. You have to test it for gamma rays.”

Me: “That’s not possible.”

Customer: “I have a Bachelor’s degree in IT, and I know what I’m talking about.”

I am getting annoyed with him. I have appointments to get through and I’m running late from previous ones and don’t have time to put up with his crap.

Me: *With a straight face and neutral tone* “Sir, you are wrong, and you’re obviously lying about your degree in IT because if you did have one you could not be this blatantly dumb. Stop wasting my time and take your matter of health to the doctor instead of coming to bother us.”

Thankfully, that was enough to make him leave!

Let’s Just Stick To Business, Please

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2023

Client: “We’re not so different, you know.”

Me: “Oh?”

Client: “I did my business degree with a minor in visual art. I was very well-liked. I had a certain eye for details.”

Me: “That’s neat. Computer graphics are a little different, though.”

Client: “I bet the ladies aren’t as wild. Mind you, that was the 1970s. I tell ya, visual arts girls in the ’70s… Wildebeests don’t come close to that kind of wild.”

Me: “You know I’m a girl.”

Client: “I know, I know. Just reminiscing.”

Painting A Very Interesting Word Picture

, , , | Right | February 24, 2023

This is an email forwarded to me from a potential client, describing his vision for a logo, depicting himself as a superhero. It was full of grammatical and spelling errors.

Client: “So, you already know I wanna be a superhero… Maybe somethin’ out of a MARVEL comic… Rays of power flowin’ in and out my muscled body! I should have REALLY THICK EYEBROWS and three razor lines on my left eyebrow (trademark), and also the title GHETTOCELEBRITY.

“Maybe me holding a ball of power over my head… WITH BALTIMORE INSIDE!

“Try one with me in baggy clothes and iced out with jewelry, BUT I’M STILL A SUPERHERO! AND THE CITY OF BALTIMORE BEHIND ME? JUST AN IDEA!

“Here are pics of me to GET THE FACE GOOD FOR THE LOGO!”

Pretty Shoddy Work From Such A Desperate Woman

, , , , , , | Working | February 22, 2023

I used to work at a popular sandwich chain. Due to poor pay and poor management, there was a revolving door of employees. Nobody stayed more than a few months (including me). Of course, some were… memorable. This one woman in particular takes the cake.

I showed up for my opening shift at 8:00 am, and I saw an unfamiliar car parked in the employee section. I thought it was odd but didn’t really care until the woman in the driver’s seat rolled down her window and began literally yelling at me.

Woman: “I’ve been here since six am!”

I was a little confused and surprised by her attitude and volume. Also, there was a convenience store literally next door where she could’ve gotten food. I wondered why she’d been sitting here for so long, but I was tired and honestly didn’t really care.

Me: “We don’t open until nine, ma’am.”

Woman: “No! I don’t want a sandwich. I want to work! I’ve got to feed my kids! I haven’t eaten in three days! I work for [Chain] all over the state! See, I’ve got a shirt!”

She pulled on her shirt to show me the uniform while I stood in the parking lot, dumbfounded. Was she asking for a job?

Me: “You’ll need to speak with my manager.”

I began walking away from the crazy lady, and she got out of her car and followed me into the shop. (The door only locks from the outside so she could simply waltz in.) My manager was already there and looked at me, confused. Before I could say anything, the woman continued her tirade of, “I need a job! I haven’t eaten in three days! I need to feed my kids!” My manager gave me a look that said, “I’ll handle it.” I headed to the back and began my opening duties.

Over the course of an hour, I heard my manager talking to this woman, saying we didn’t need her help, we had full staff for the day, etc. She didn’t stop, and eventually, my manager gave up and allowed her to work! At least the woman showed that she indeed knew what to do and didn’t need training. After a couple of hours, my manager came up to me and said she was leaving! I was stuck with the crazy woman.

Not even an hour after my manager left, this woman told me she’d been fired from another chain restaurant for stealing food! She literally used those exact words. She justified it by saying she was “too good of a worker,” and her manager was scared she was going to take his job. When I asked her about the stealing food part, she said that the last chain would allow her to take home food just before it went bad and he used that as justification to fire her. I’m sure there’s more to the story, but I said nothing.

We also get a free sandwich per shift. Being that she hadn’t eaten in three days you’d think she would’ve eaten the free sandwich. Nope, she called a friend to come to get it, and she took it out to her friend’s car where nobody could see them and out of sight of the cameras.

The next day, I showed up for my shift and she was there again! We had one too many people, which my manager said was not allowed, so someone had to get cut. I checked with my other coworkers. They said they didn’t want to lose hours and would put up with the crazy lady, so I said I was going home.

She started giving me orders! She was saying I needed to do X, Y, and Z, and then I could go home. I’m usually non-confrontational, but I gave this woman a look that said, “Ex-f******-cuse me?” She told me she was training to be the manager. Based on her previous behavior, I was 100% convinced she had just decided this herself. The actual manager was also not there, so there was nobody training her.

I left without saying anything or doing as she’d “asked” because I don’t get paid enough to put up with her BS, and the actual manager had said we could get in trouble if too many staff stayed.

Over the next two weeks, this lady over-prepped the kitchen so badly that there was no way we could use everything before it went bad. Conveniently, she offered to take it home since “we shouldn’t waste food.” She “messed up” a suspicious number of sandwiches, which she would then give to her “friends.” These “mess-ups” almost always included some of the most expensive meats, and she always delivered the sandwiches to her friends’ cars.

She refused to use the guards when slicing meat and veggies and cut the tips of her fingers multiple times. She then told the manager she needed worker’s compensation until they were healed. She refused to do anything that didn’t involve over-prepping food or making sandwiches that she could mess up.

After three weeks, she was fired.

Politics Can Get So Ugly

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2023

My coworker is very good-looking — to the point he once caught some teenage girls stealthily taking photos of him. He once had an older guy in a red hat with a particular political slogan on it go on a prolonged pro-[Politician] rant. Then, the guy winked and told [Coworker] in a weirdly seductive voice:

Customer: “You’re obviously too pretty to be a Democrat.”

It came out of nowhere and was… creepily flirty.

And I’m pretty sure [Coworker] IS a Democrat.