Maybe His Head Hurts Because It’s Empty?

I work in face-to-face tech support for a telecommunications company. This involves troubleshooting mobile broadband devices (and laptops), setting up email accounts, syncing mobile phones to computers, and giving tutorials on how all this sort of stuff works.

This guy, probably in his late twenties to early thirties, comes in with his laptop and USB broadband modem.

Customer: “I need this looked at. After about an hour of using it, I start to get really bad headaches.”

Me: “Don’t you think it would be a much better idea to see a doctor about this instead of coming to a [Company] store?”

Customer: “No! It’s my USB modem, and there could be no other explanation. You have to test it for gamma rays.”

Me: “That’s not possible.”

Customer: “I have a Bachelor’s degree in IT, and I know what I’m talking about.”

I am getting annoyed with him. I have appointments to get through and I’m running late from previous ones and don’t have time to put up with his crap.

Me: *With a straight face and neutral tone* “Sir, you are wrong, and you’re obviously lying about your degree in IT because if you did have one you could not be this blatantly dumb. Stop wasting my time and take your matter of health to the doctor instead of coming to bother us.”

Thankfully, that was enough to make him leave!