I’m in a fast food restaurant when I see a man walking to a table with a paper tray of Mexican food and a beer.
Man: “It is after twelve noon. I am not morning drinking. That is what you said.”
Man’s Wife: “You ain’t been up but thirty minutes!”
I’m working concessions at a rock concert in a large sports arena. Invariably, there is a “last call” about an hour and a half before the headliner is scheduled to end. This means that alcohol is not served anywhere in the venue after that time. This conversation happens more than once:
Customer: “Can I get a [alcoholic beverage]?”
Me: “Sorry, alcohol is cut off. They won’t have it anywhere in the building.”
Customer: “How about a beer?”
What do people think is in beer?
Related:
Un-beer-lievable Ignorance
I work at a hotel downtown; we get our fair share of drunks. A drunk guy is sleeping on one of our lobby couches. I wake him up.
Me: “What room are you in?”
Guest: “1305.”
Me: “We don’t have one of those.”
We have no thirteenth floor.
Guest: “1805.”
Me: “We don’t have one of those.”
We have no 05 rooms.
Guest: “Oh, 2805!”
Me: “We don’t have one of those.”
We only have nineteen floors, and still no 05 rooms.
Me: “Are you in the right hotel?”
Guest: “Yeah! Just take me to 28!”
Me: “We still don’t have one of those. Can I see your room key?”
We spent twenty minutes explaining to him why he couldn’t go to his room in our hotel and then I had to physically escort him to his correct hotel a block down.
I am ringing up customers at around seven at night. A lady with beautiful purple hair and her friend walk up wanting to buy wine.
Me: “I need to see your IDs, please.”
She hands me hers. She’s over twenty-one, but her friend doesn’t have her ID.
Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t legally sell this to you.”
Customer: “But I’m the one buying it?”
Me: “Ma’am, it’s the law. I can’t tell how old your friend is.”
She argues with me more, and I have no idea how to handle it other than to be polite since she is the first customer to really blow up on me.
Customer: “Fine! I’ll send my friend to the car and go find someone who isn’t a c*** to check me out.” *Leaves*
Me: “Ma’am, you forgot your mini Rubik’s cube!”
She comes back and gets it.
Me: “Have a good night!”
I told the manager working and he told me that he would have banned her from buying it if I’d told him sooner about her. Oh, well. Karma has a heck of a bite to lay on her. Be nice to us; we’re trying not to end up in jail!
Related:
No Underage Understanding, Part 2
No Underage Understanding
I’m having a friendly chat with one of the workers at my local bottle shop while checking out, and we get to the topic of the creative excuses people have about providing ID when asked. He has some great stories but my favourite is this little gem.
Worker: “I’ll just need to see some ID before I ring you up, please.”
Customer: “I’ve left my license at home, but I have a photo of my passport info on my phone. Can I use that?”
Worker: “Tell me, if you went through border control at the airport right now, do you think that line would work with them?”
Customer: “Er, no?”
Worker: “So what makes you think it’s going to work here? You can get your alcohol when I see some proper ID. Bye!”
Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 39
No ID, No Idea, Part 38
No ID, No Idea, Part 37
No ID, No Idea, Part 36
No ID, No Idea, Part 35
