Crime Doesn’t Pay (You Back)

, , , , | Right | July 12, 2021

I work for a concert venue. I spot a ticket holder trying to sneak his friend into the venue. I call security, who catch them kick them off the premises without a refund.

Later I get a call; it’s the kid.

Kid: “Can I get you to refund my half of the ticket? My buddy won’t pay me back…”

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Judge Not Lest You Look Like An A**hole

, , , , , | Friendly | June 3, 2021

The year is 2019 and my favorite boy band growing up announces they are going on tour. I buy tickets the day they come out, excited for a nostalgic experience with my husband who I am dragging along.

Less than a week after the tickets are purchased, I learn that I am expecting. With the concert date a little under seven months away, I decide to still go. However, I failed to buy parking with the tickets, and by the time I decide that a close parking spot would be well worth the money now, they are completely sold out.

The day of the concert comes, and even arriving multiple hours early, we struggle to find parking close to the arena. We finally settle and make a rather lengthy walk. By the time we get to our seats, I am sweating and extremely out of breath.

My husband leaves me to go get some drinks and food as I enjoy the air conditioning.

Some time passes and a mom and her teenage daughter take a seat beside me. I think nothing of it as the band’s current fans range from pre-teens to their thirties. I glance at the woman as they settle in their seats, and she is giving me and my pregnant stomach a death glare. I smile at her just in time for her to pounce out of her seat and tower over me.

Woman: “How dare you come someplace like this?! Showing off your gross pregnant stomach! You are showing girls your age this is okay!”

I am very taken back and still slightly out of breath but I quickly gain my composure.

Me: “Ma’am, not that it’s any of your business—”

She cuts me off again, going into a rant about how her daughter now thinks teenage pregnancy is cool because I’m here.

I realize with my jeans shorts, band T-shirt, and Converse, I appear a bit younger than my twenty-five years. However, I fail to believe that I look as young as her fourteen-year-old daughter.

Woman: “You know what? Forget it! We’re leaving! I hope you’re happy, making my baby miss this show because you couldn’t keep your legs closed.”

She then violently pulls her daughter up by her arm and up the stairs. She passes my husband coming down the stairs with his arms full of drinks and snacks and almost knocks him over. 

Husband: “Wow, she seemed mad.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess you should know. You apparently married and impregnated a minor.” 

The lady and her daughter did return about ten minutes after the show started. My guess is she tried to get their seats changed without any luck. She didn’t say another word to me, luckily, and I enjoyed the show.

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Support Your Local Artists!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: hmitch94 | May 23, 2021

I’m playing a free gig put on by the local council. It’s at an outdoor amphitheater, so everyone can just come and enjoy a free two sets of live music. In the second set, after a few songs, the singer says that if people like the music, then he has CDs.

One song later, after we finish playing the tune, a woman comes up to the stage in front of the entire audience, stopping the concert.

Woman: “Where is my free CD? I’m going now.”

The singer is baffled.

Singer: “Why did you think it was free?”

Woman: “Well, how much is it, then?”

Singer: “I usually sell them for $10.”

Woman: “I don’t have ten dollars on me and I’m going now, so are you going to give me a free CD?”

Singer: “I’ll think about it.”

Woman: “You only have ten seconds because I’m leaving.”

Singer: “Okay. Bye.”

The singer then announced on the microphone that this woman had stopped the concert because she wanted a free CD, and everyone in the audience basically laughed her out of the room.

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, , , , | Learning | March 31, 2021

My mom and I are big fans of a classic rock musician who’s known for giving very long concerts. He’s American and rarely comes to our country, so we naturally jump at the chance to go to one of his concerts in 2016, despite the concert taking place on a weekday. The concert is amazing, but it doesn’t end until almost two o’clock in the morning. I am fifteen years old and have school at eight o’clock the following morning.

As we shuffle out of the venue, I spot a familiar face near me. It’s my history teacher, whose class I have first thing tomorrow morning!

Teacher: “Nice concert, huh, [My name]?”

Me: “Yeah, it was great. See you in a couple of hours!”

We then went our separate ways home. He brought me a cup of coffee the next morning.

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Un-beer-lievable Ignorance, Part 2

, , , | Right | November 16, 2020

I’m working concessions at a rock concert in a large sports arena. Invariably, there is a “last call” about an hour and a half before the headliner is scheduled to end. This means that alcohol is not served anywhere in the venue after that time. This conversation happens more than once:

Customer: “Can I get a [alcoholic beverage]?”

Me: “Sorry, alcohol is cut off. They won’t have it anywhere in the building.”

Customer: “How about a beer?”

What do people think is in beer?

Un-beer-lievable Ignorance

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