(I’m an A&E nurse. We’re not allowed our phones on us; they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call for me comes into hospital reception on a private line.)

Phone: “This is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”

Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”

Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another pupil. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”

(I go to the school and am ushered into the head’s office. I see my daughter, her head of year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.)

Head: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”

Me: “Yeah, things get busy in A&E. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)

Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)

Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”

Head Of Year: “Let’s not over-react.”

Head: “I think you’re missing the point.”

(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)

Daughter: “He kept pinging my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”

(I turn to the teacher.)

Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”

Teacher: “What?! No!”

Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Head Of Year]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mum’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”

Head: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”

Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She’s 5 feet and 6 stone. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”

(The boy’s mum is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the headmaster.)

Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “—EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”

(I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from Church (it’s a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (Government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.)

This story is part of our celebration of Not Always Right publishing over 100,000 stories!

This story is included in the roundup of Not Always Learning stories to toast this achievement!

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Dear readers,

It’s that time again! We’re rolling right along as we celebrate 100,000 stories at Not Always Right! Today, we’re hitting the books with a look back at some of our favorite stories about teachers, classmates, and principals. Yes, folks, it’s Not Always Learning! This category opened up in 2013, and in the last decade, we’ve shared nearly 7,000 stories from all of you about your academic foibles!

Put on your best studying mix, grab a cup of coffee, and join us for ten of our best stories from Not Always Learning!

Was Bra-ced For A Different Reaction – This is how you Mama Bear.

You Are Literally Wrong – The author may have been wrong to say that, but they weren’t wrong…

She’s Hot Iron – This teacher really takes matters into her own hands in the coolest way.

(more…)

Dear readers,

As many of you know, Not Always Right started as a site about documenting the exploits of bad customers, from the hilarious to the horrendous! But as the site grew, so did the variety of stories we received, many of which were fantastic but didn’t fit into the dynamic of bad customer stories. Over the years, we’ve added more categories to the site, to slowly encapsulate all the possible combinations of human interactions. From witty comebacks in the home, to awkward first dates. From entitled behavior from bad neighbors, to those happy to break the law. Every type of witty and memorable story can now be safely covered in the ever-growing story feeds of Not Always Right.

In the last fifteen years, we’ve published thirty-thousand of your stories! Picking favorites was nigh-on impossible, but we’ve had a go at rounding up some of our more memorable stories, as well as some of your top-voted from all the categories! Here’s to thirty-thousand more!

Editors’ Picks – Our Top Fifteen Stories From NARe, NARo, NAL, NAF, NAHe, and NALe!

Your Urgency Is Not My Emergency – Sounds like you’ve got a conundrum there, buddy.

Geeks (And Doctors) Come In All Shapes And Sizes – But was she ginger?

Not Going To Get Walkathon’d All Over This Year – Thank goodness for sympathetic secretaries.

(more…)

Dear readers,

Welcome back to our walk through the last decade of Not Always Right! We had some fun with 2014 yesterday, today we tackle 2015, the year that the best movie of the decade came out (Mad Max – fight us), Hamilton got us all interested in history again, and the force awokened.

It was also the year we published the following highest-voted stories of the year. Enjoy!

10. Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics

Restaurant | USA

(I’m waitressing at a small restaurant when a young mother with a toddler walks in accompanied by the mother’s grandfather. I seat them and they order. The grandfather orders the chicken fried steak which is soft enough that a knife isn’t necessary so one normally isn’t given with the meal. This happens as I drop off their plates.)

Grandfather: *looks at his plate then up at me angrily* “WHERE THE F*** IS MY KNIFE? HUH? HOW THE F*** AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS—”

(Suddenly the mother slaps her hand onto the table hard enough that all the dishware jumps, the toddler yelps, and the grandfather is startled into silence.)

Toddler: “Uh oh. Mama MAD. Not me did it!”

Mother: *looks at the grandfather with a look of pure fury* “You do NOT speak to people that way! Do you understand? Now, I told you, if I’m going to take you out to eat then you WILL be on your best behavior. You will either apologize to this young lady or you can go sit in the car by yourself and be hungry. Everyone else in the family might be willing to put up with your attitude but not me! So you got two options: apologize or leave.”

Grandfather: *crosses his arms and sulks*

Mother: “Apologize or car. NOW.”

Grandfather: *sighs* I’m sorry for saying those things to you.”

Me: “Thank you for apologizing, sir. Now, that was a steak knife you needed?”

Grandfather: “Yes.”

Mother: *crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows at him*

Grandfather: *looking like he bit into a lemon* “Please.”

(The mother smiles and I turn my attention to her.)

Me: “And anything for you, ma’am?”

Mother: “More napkins, please.”

Me: “Okay! I’ll be right out with those.”

(The rest of the meal passes by in complete silence with the grandfather sulking the whole time. I drop off their check, the mother tucks it under her arm, drops a tip on the table, then turns around and helps her son put on his jacket. While her back is turned the grandfather quickly picks up the tip, stuffs it in his jacket pocket, and scurries out. Finishing with her child, the mother leads him over to the counter and places the check on the counter. I’m struggling with myself on whether or not I should tell her about what her grandfather did.)

Mother: *watches me for a minute* “Well, you obviously want to say something, so say it! I’m sorry for the way my grandpa acted. I’m working on teaching him manners. But if you have something to say, feel free to speak up. So long as it’s said respectfully I can listen.*

Me: “It’s… um… just that your… um, grandfather took the tip money while your back was turned.”

Mother: “HE WHAT?!”

(Leaving her son there the mother storms off back to the table, audibly gasps when she sees the lack of money, practically runs back to the register, scoops up her child, and leaves. Through the window I see her walk to the passenger side of the car, point to the grandfather, mouth the words ‘big trouble,’ and open the back-seat passenger door. The grandfather moves down in his seat a little bit, the mother calmly buckles her kid into the car, closes the door, then opens the grandfather’s door. I can’t hear what’s being said but it’s obvious that whatever she’s screaming has the grandfather shrinking in his seat until he is literally hiding his head in his jacket. The mother suddenly reaches forward, snatches something from him, slams the car door, and comes back inside.)

Mother: “The nerve of some people! My goodness! I am so so sorry for my grandfather’s antics. Thank you, though, for being honest.”

(I ring up her transaction.)

Mother: “I was going to give you a bit for being so patient with him but I think you deserve a bit extra. As for him, well, he can stay home eating cold ham and cheeses sandwiches for a few days. We’ll see how well he likes that!”

(The mother tipped me generously then left. They did come in the following week but this time the grandfather was much better behaved!)

(more…)

(Shortly after giving birth to my child, I find myself in desperate need of some groceries and other supplies. I load the baby up and head to the supermarket, where I place the car seat in the shopping cart and wedge my items into the remaining space around the seat. While waiting in line to check out, I’m approached by an older woman who is looking contemptuously at my cart.)

Old Lady: “Do you really think it’s appropriate to have those—” *indicating a pack of sanitary pads* “—so close to her?” *pointing to my daughter*

Me: “What’s wrong? Do you think she needs more space? I’m not used to shopping with infants yet—”

Old Lady: “Things like that—” *pointing to the pads again* “—are not appropriate for children! You should not expose an innocent child to such things! Those things go…” *whispers* “—you know where.”

Me: *deadpan* “Ma’am. I need those—” *points* “—because I pushed her—” *points* “—out of there—” *points* “—two weeks ago. If she’s paying attention, she already knows things come out of it. Thanks for your time, though!”

(She stomped off.)

This story is part of our celebration of Not Always Right publishing over 100,000 stories!

This story is included in the roundup of Not Always Friendly stories to toast this achievement!

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