(The phone rings.)
Me: “[Restaurant]. [My Name] speaking.”
Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint.”
Me: “Sure. What was the problem.”
Customer: “Asians.”
Me: “Asians?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “I’m not sure that’s something you can complain about.”
Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *hangs up*
(A woman calls in a few days after her storage unit has come due. There are only three employees that work in this office: me, my best friend, and my fiancé. My best friend answers the phone.)
Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [Coworker]; how can I help you? Okay, what’s the last name on your account? You handed it to a guy? And you made a payment here? All right, I’m going to look over the account for a moment and give you a call back in around ten minutes.”
Me: “What’s going on?”
Coworker: “This lady said she vacated at the end of July and gave a vacate form to ‘a guy in the office.’ Was [Fiancé] even in last week?”
(My fiancé has been in and out of the office for the past month due to a surgery on his ankle.)
Me: “No, he was still on bed rest that week.”
Coworker: “Okay, so that’s a lie. She says she sent in a payment to our facility but she meant to send it to [Sister Storage Company] where she apparently moved her things to. How do I fix that?”
Me: “Um, let me go and check her unit to make sure she actually vacated before we do anything.”
(I go out to her storage unit and find the door open with the tenant’s items still in the unit. As she came due three days ago, her only option is to stay for an additional month and make sure her things are taken out by the end of August. I relay this information to my friend who calls the tenant back while I leave the room to make lunch. I overhear this from the other room.)
Coworker: “No, I cannot refund the entire payment… Because you already came due for this month and didn’t vacate the unit… Ma’am, when you vacate your unit, your things have to vacate with you.”
(I walk back into the room, laughing into my ravioli.)
Coworker: “She hung up on me!”
(It’s a busy but fairly normal shift. After a mad rush of customers it quietens down, and a man in his twenties comes to my till with a “selfie phone case.”)
Me: “That’s £12.99 for that, please.”
(He places two £1 coins and a few 20p coins on the counter. I count them out and look at him expectantly. After a few moments I realise he isn’t going to get out an extra £10.)
Me: “Sorry, it’s £12.99.”
(He still looks gone-out, and then seems to realise he hasn’t got enough.)
Customer: “What am I supposed to do, then?”
Me: “Do you have any extra cash or a debit card?”
(The man ignores me and turns instead to a customer just passing.)
Customer: “Have you got 10p?”
Passing Customer: “What?”
Customer: “I need 10p!”
Passing Customer: “Sorry.”
(The customer leaves, looking baffled.)
Me: “It’s ten pounds, sir.”
(An elderly lady has just joined the queue. He turns to her, instead.)
Customer: “Got £10?”
Elderly Lady: “Pardon?”
Customer: “Can I have £10?”
(Understandably, the lady is looking a little intimidated and confused.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you can’t ask other customers to give you the cash. I can save the item for you behind the till until you do have the money, if you prefer.”
Customer: “Okay. I’ll sort something out.”
(He went, and I apologised to the elderly lady. The man returned about fifteen minutes later, but went to a colleague, and this time he bought a pack of chocolate. I still don’t know why he expected other customers to give him the money, and I don’t know why he thought £3 was enough to pay for something worth £12.99 in the first place. It was clearly labelled on the product and the shelf!)
(I find a customer with several queen-size bedding sets in her cart. I can tell she’s stressing over something, so I come up to help.)
Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”
Customer: “Yes, I’d like to find these sets that I’ve got in my cart, but I need them in a king size.”
Me: “Okay, let’s see…”
(After turning immediately to my left, I easily find the king-size bedding sets and pull them off the shelf for her. She seems incredulous.)
Customer: “Oh, are those the same sets?”
Me: “Well, yes, they’re the same ones you have in your cart, just in a king size.”
Customer: “How can you tell?”
(I look at the set through the clear packaging. This is a package where there’s a small picture and label on the front, but all sides of the package are crystal clear so you can see the sheets, pillowcases, decor pillows, and the comforter quite easily. I point out to her that not only is it the same color and pattern but that the name and description on the label is exactly the same. She points at the small picture on the package.)
Customer: “But this looks greener on the picture!”
Me: “Well, I don’t know about that.” *laughs* “I guess there was just a printer error on the picture; maybe the printer was a little out of red ink or something? You can see that the comforter is exactly the same color as the one in your cart.”
Customer: “Can I get a discount, then?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “Can I get a discount?”
Me: “For what?”
Customer: “Because this picture’s color is off! Because the printer wasn’t working?”
Me: *sarcastically* “Okay, sure, but only if you promise to take this picture out of the packaging and frame it up on your wall above your bed.”
Customer: “Okay!”
Me: “No.”
(I work as the dairy manager for a large grocery store chain. The following is an encounter with an older customer who has been shopping there for years.)
Customer: “Excuse me. Can you tell me where the whipped cream is?”
Me: “I’ll do one better; I’ll show you. That way I’ll know you’ve found it.”
(This is typical retail protocol.)
Customer: *after walking her to the whipped cream* “No, this isn’t right. I can’t cook with this stuff.”
Me: “Did you mean whipp-ing cream?”
Customer: *looks and sounds irritated with me* “Whipped cream, whipping cream, whatever.”
(She grabbed her whipp-ING cream and walked away. I’ve seen her since, but she doesn’t speak to me.)
