Must Be Where They’re Storing Their Brain

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Right | December 9, 2016

(The customer currently rents a 10×10 unit.)

Customer: “I don’t want to pay for my whole unit; I’m not using it all.”

Me: “OK, I have smaller units avail—”

Customer: *interrupts* “NO! I don’t want to get a truck to move, but I don’t want to pay the full amount. I just want to pay what I’m using.”

Me: “I apologize, but that’s not how that works. Because we can’t rent out the rest of that space, you have to pay the full rent or move to a smaller unit.”

Customer: “Fine, I’m moving everything out into another facility.”

Me: “You’re going to move everything out to a new facility, but not into a unit down the building from where you are?”

Customer: “Yeah, because you’re f****** stupid!”

Wish They Could Self-Store Away Their Misogyny

| NY, USA | Working | September 9, 2016

(I am one of three employees in the office that I work in. We are a small, locally owned company and all of the employees are either family or friends of one of the two owners. I’m a young woman in my early twenties and I’ve been there for almost six years. I handle everything having to do with money, the Internet, or computers in general, except the basic stuff I taught the other employees. Without fail I get a call like this at least once a month. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… is one of the guys there?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “No that’s all right. When’s the next time one of them is in?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] will be in tomorrow morning.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks.”

Me: “Have a nice day.” *eye roll*

(After five years of this I get sick of it and finally stand up for myself. This has been my normal response for the past year:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… is one of the guys there?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “No that’s all right. When’s the next time one of them is in?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] will be in tomorrow morning, but I assure you that I am more than capable of helping you. I’ve been working here for five years and know the system as well as anyone else.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, then can you look up my account and tell me my balance?” *gives information*

Me: “Your balance is [amount]. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Caller: “No, that’s all. Thank you!”

Me: “No problem. Have a nice day.” *eye roll*

(Apparently people assume I can’t complete tasks I learned on my first day here six years later.)

The Spark That Starts A Storage War

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | March 11, 2016

(I’m driving my a storage facility unit. The sign outside simply says this.)

Sign: “Storage Wars not filmed here.”

Not Yelping His Cause

| CA, USA | Right | December 2, 2015

(In self-storage, a tenant is required to give notice BEFORE their due date. Every summer we get the students who store dorm stuff while they go back home.)

Tenant: “Hi, I’m closing out my storage today.”

Me: “Oh, let me pull you up… Did you schedule your move out?”

Tenant: “Uh… no.”

Me: “I’m afraid you’re eight days past your due date, and your automatic payment went through on your due date.”

(We specifically tell new tenants that they have to give notice, and if the payment is made there are absolutely no refunds… It’s printed in block letters on the lease they sign!)

Tenant: *now very upset* “Well, if you don’t refund my money RIGHT NOW, I’ll go on Yelp and give you a one-star review!”

Me: “Huh, see that bank of video feeds above me?” *points at our security system* “Well, they also record sound. What you just threatened is actually called EXTORTION. Would you like to call the police, or shall I do it for you?”

Tenant: “Uh… uh… I was just kidding, man…” *laughs nervously* “Everything’s okay; I’ll be leaving now!”

(Our camera system doesn’t record audio, and we got a five-star review from the kid!)

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Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2

| Massachusetts, USA | Right | October 19, 2011

Customer: “Hi, I called earlier about getting a storage unit.”

Me: “Okay. What size were you looking for?”

Customer: “I don’t know. You told me on the phone.”

Me: “Hmm, well, there are 4-5 people in this office who answer the phone at any time. I don’t think I spoke to you.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it was…hmm. I don’t remember.”

(I walk her outside the office into the parking lot show her a painted grid on the ground that illustrates the different sizes. I take a long time explaining the different sizes, and how much each costs. She has a price/size list in her hand the whole time. She looks very confused but finally seems to understand and decides she wants a 10’x10’ storage unit. We go back in the office so we can do the paperwork.)

Customer: “Okay, so, 10’x10’ is the width?”

Me: “Well, 10’x10’ means the space is ten feet wide and ten feet long.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “The grid you just looked at painted on the ground shows only the footprint of the storage unit.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “The illustration grid painted on the ground does not show the third dimension, which is height. The ceiling is about 8 feet high.”

Customer: *blank stare* “So…I can stack things UP?” *she looks excited*

Me: “Yes. You are not renting a two-dimensional space.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “You are not renting a parking space. You are going to be renting a three-dimensional storage space.”

(I gesture with my hands to make the shape of a three dimensional box.)

Customer: “This is so confusing!”

Related:
Adventures In The Third Dimension

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