We’re visiting a theme park that features two new rides, one of which consistently has a queue time of at least three hours all day. Since we’re in Orlando for three weeks, we figure we’ll just try again another day.
Fast forward two weeks and our efforts so far have been in vain. The queue just refuses to ever dip down below the three-hour mark no matter what we do. We’ve pretty much resigned ourselves to either not going on it at all or just sucking it up and losing the three hours.
On our penultimate visit to the park, we are at the complete opposite end of the park when a bout of tremendously heavy rain starts and, not being the sort of people to get upset about being wet, we decide we may as well quick-march over and see if people got rained out of the queue.
Nearing our destination, we see a family of five huddled under a tree frantically extracting ponchos from a backpack. This family looks at the pair of us marching through this downpour like we’ve grown extra heads. We just shrug and say, “British.”
The family laughs and nods in understanding and we carry on our way. We find a forty-minute queue which we happily jump in. We’re completely dried out by the time we’re halfway through it. Success!
My family is visiting Florida. We stop at a kiosk to pick up a free map.
Salesman: “Are you interested in going to [Big Theme Park]? We can get you some very cheap tickets if you attend a timeshare presentation.”
Me: “Sorry, we have a four-year-old. She’d never sit still for that long.”
Salesman: “Oh, you could leave her in the video game room!”
Yeah, I’m going to leave my toddler with a bunch of strangers to play video games.
I work at a theme park. While I’m working at a ride where the minimum height is forty-two inches, for safety, a woman comes through with a daughter who is clearly too short.
Me: “I need to measure her.”
She is about four inches below the minimum height.
Me: “She cannot ride for safety reasons.”
The mother tells her daughter to stay with her grandfather and walks into the queue line. As the queue passes the entrance where I am again, the girl is crying because Mommy left.
Mom: *Pointing at me* “BLAME HIM. IT’S HIS FAULT!”
I work as a caricature artist at a theme park, and though we get the occasional rejection, this one always confuses me. I have just drawn the basic outline of a girl’s face.
Mother: “It doesn’t look like her.”
Me: “I… but… what?”
One of the more popular rides in the theme park where I work has been closed for a considerable amount of time due to maintenance issues.
Customer: “So, we can’t ride [Roller Coaster] today?”
Me: “Not unless you wish to die.”
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