An elderly lady comes in one day and slams down some empty ink cartridges for her printer.

Customer: “It didn’t last as long as it said it would!”

Me: “Well, the page counts they use are estimates, and you don’t always get that many pages out of a cartridge.”

Customer: “What are you talking about pages? It says it’s good until July of next year! I bought it a month ago and it’s already out of ink!”

She points to the expiration date.

It takes everything I have not to laugh in her face as I try to come up with an analogy for her to understand.

Me: “Have you ever tried to return an empty jug of milk because you drank it all before the sell-by date?”

I could see it click in her head as she threw the cartridges across the counter and stormed out.

Related:
Think Before You Ink, Part 9
Think Before You Ink, Part 8
Think Before You Ink, Part 7
Think Before You Ink, Part 6
Think Before You Ink, Part 5

I am taking an order in a Chinese restaurant. This is during the time when social media and the news were going hard on MSG and how it would give you a heart attack or cancer or something else. Asian food was particularly strongly targeted, even though MSG could be found in food across practically all cuisines.

Customer: “And make sure none of the items have any MSG! That stuff kills you!”

Me: “Some of our items are made with MSG as a flavor enhancer, but I can ask the kitchen if they can leave it out for you.”

Customer: “Good! I don’t want any artificial chemicals in my body!”

Me: “Would you like a drink?”

Customer: “Yes, diet Coke.”

Related:
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 10
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 9
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 8
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 7
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 6

I work at a second-hand movie and video game store. A guy comes in trying to sell us his DVD copy of “Resident Evil: Apocalypse”.

Me: “Sir, because this is a DVD we have a ton of, we can only offer you $1.50.”

Customer: *Angry* “Why so little?!”

Me: “We can only offer that much because the store sells it for $3.00.”

Customer: *Looking me dead in the eyes* “Then why can’t you give me $3.00?”

Me: “…Would you like me to explain to you how a business operates?”

Customer: “I’d like to pick up my computer. I got an email saying the repair is complete.”

Me: “All right! Have a seat right here and I’ll get you checked in. Do you have your ID with you?”

Customer: “Why would I need to show you that?”

Me: “To make sure we’re giving the computer back to the right customer.”

Customer: “I don’t see why that’s necessary.”

Me: “Well, what if someone came in and said they were picking up a computer and used your name? If we didn’t check ID, we’d have to just trust their word and hand over any computer they have the name of. That’s really not secure, so we always ask to verify our customers’ IDs when they pick up machines worth thousands of dollars.”

Customer: “No, it’s ridiculous. I never had to show my ID before. This is a police state.” 

She hands me her ID.

Me: “Umm… I’m gonna grab your computer and I’ll be right back.”

I get back and hand it to her.

Customer: “This is absurd. I still can’t believe you needed my ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry; if you still don’t understand why I needed to verify that you were the correct customer before I handed over your computer by checking your ID, I’m afraid there’s no amount of explaining that will convince you it’s the right thing to do.”

Customer: “It never used to be like this. You don’t even know what freedom is.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “It’s been this way ever since 9/11.”

Related:
Has ID, Still No Idea, Part 4
Has ID, Still No Idea, Part 3
Has ID, Still No Idea, Part 2
Has ID, Still No Idea

It’s around 2012. A customer is looking at our phones.

Customer: “I can’t wait for the Retina display to come out on the iPhone 5.”

Me: “But ma’am, you have an iPhone 4; this has a Retina display.”

Customer: “Really?! You mean I don’t have to type my passwords anymore?”

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “How do I turn on the setting to scan my retina?”