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Preempting Stupidity

, | Right | January 8, 2008

Manager: “When laying down the sod, make sure the green side goes up.”

Customer: “Are you serious? You have to tell me that the green side of the grass goes side up?”

Manager: “I wouldn’t have to say it if someone didn’t make the mistake.”

And This Is Before They Started Trippin’

, , , | Right | January 7, 2008

(Two customers have come in to rent some sound equipment that they need to DJ a party. I’ve given them all the basic equipment they need for the sound system.)

Me: “Is there anything else you need with your rental?”

Customer: “Yeah, we need something to make it sound better… like lights!”

Me: “…”

Dubya Dubya Dubya Dot Duh

, , , | Right | January 5, 2008

Me: “Can I get your domain name please?”

Customer: “something@yahoo.com”

Me: “That’s actually an email address. What I’m looking for is something similar to www.website.com.”

Customer: “www.something@yahoo.com.”

Me: *sigh* “Can I get your name?”

At Least She Has The General Idea

, , , | Right | January 1, 2008

Bored Teen: “Yeah. I’m looking for this book, When I Drop Dead?”

Me: “I can’t seem to find it in the system. Do you know who the author is?”

Bored Teen: “I dunno. Flooker or Flocker or something.”

(A light goes on in my head.)

Me: “Do you mean AS I LAY DYING, by WILLIAM FAULKNER?”

Bored Teen: *explosive sigh* “Yeah. Whatever. That.”

Might I Also Suggest A Dictionary

, , | Right | December 31, 2007

Customer: “Hi. I need a threesis.”

Clerk: “A… pardon?

Customer: “You know– a threesis. It has other words that mean the same as the word you look up.”

Clerk: “Oh, do you mean a thesaurus?”

Customer: “Duh! That’s a dinosaur! I need a threesis!”