Something’s Fishy With This Pensioner

(I work at a fish and chips shop, and our special includes a pensioners’ fish and chips at a cheap price. A customer walks in.)

Customer: “I’m a pensioner, and I want one of your pensioners’ calamari and chips, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the pensioners’ special only offers fish and chips, no calamari.”

(The customer goes on a rant saying he always comes here and always orders the calamari special. I show him on the menu a 1/4 calamari and chips for the same price.)

Me: “Is this the one you are looking for?”

Customer: “No! It’s the one with the calamari, fish and chips special!”

(My coworker and I are slightly confused, so I ask my coworker to handle him because I am getting irritated. My coworker sits him down gives him a menu. After a while, after I finish with another customer at the till, my coworker walks towards me rolling her eyes.)

Me: “What did he order?”

Coworker: “The same d*** thing that you showed him on the menu.”

Me: “The 1/4 calamari with chips?”

Coworker: “Yes, that one.”

(We both shook our heads.)