(My store offers “instant savings,” which are discounts automatically applied to certain items at the end of their transaction. Some people, however, bring in their instant savings booklet thinking its a coupon they need to show us.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, the till is processing your instant savings, and I’ll give you your total.”

Customer: “Oh! I want to use this coupon!”

(She hands me her instant savings booklet.)

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. Those coupons are applied automatically.”

Customer: “Okay, but I’d also like to use this coupon.”

(She hands me a raffle ticket with, “Keep this coupon,” and a string of numbers printed on it.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am, this is a raffle ticket.”

Customer: “No, it says, ‘coupon.’”

Me: “It’s not a coupon, I assure you. It doesn’t show a product to offer a discount on, or an amount to take off.”

Customer: *getting upset* “The lady back there—” *gestures to sales floor* “—said to hold onto that, and I want my money off.”

(I realize I’m not getting anywhere.)

Me: “Oh, you know what? These actually expired yesterday.”

Customer: *dejectedly* “Oh, all right.”

(A customer walks in with a bra that she wants to return. She ordered it from our website, and found out it was the wrong size when it arrived. She wants to exchange it for a different size. Previously, we were able to do exchanges in one transaction, meaning the credit for the returned item would go toward the new item. Recently, corporate changed some of our return policies, and one of them was that returns and purchases have to be done on separate transactions for loss prevention reasons.)

Me: “Okay. Just so you know, our return policy has changed, so we’re going to have to do two separate transactions today. First, I’ll give you your money back for the bra that doesn’t fit. It’ll be credited right back to the card you bought it with. Then, in the next transaction, I’ll ring up the new bra, and you’ll just pay the same amount that you paid for the returned bra.”

Customer: “No problem. Sounds good.”

(I process the return. When I ask her to hit “yes” on the PIN-pad to confirm that the amount she’s getting back is correct, she shakes her head and picks up the new bra.)

Customer: “No, this isn’t right. Did you forget that I wanted to buy this one?”

Me: “Well, like I said, we recently had some changes made to our return policy, so we have to do exchanges on two separate transactions. We give you your money back in one transaction, and then the new purchase in another transaction. I just gave you your money back for the bra that didn’t fit. Now, I can ring up your new bra, and you’ll pay exactly what you paid for the old one. It’s still an even exchange. Corporate just decided to add a step.”

Customer: *still visibly confused* “All right, if you say so.”

(I ring up the new bra and adjust the price so it’s the same as what she paid for the bra she just returned.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

Customer: “I don’t understand. You told me this would be an even exchange. Why am I being charged for this bra when I just returned the exact same one?”

Me: “I just gave you back your money for the first bra. The money you paid for it was refunded right back to your card. Even though it looks like you’re paying [price] for this bra, we’re only asking you to pay the exact amount you were just refunded.”

Customer: “So, you’re saying I don’t get my money back?”

(The customer’s friend, who came in with her and was looking around the boutique while I processed the exchange, overhears and tries to intervene on her behalf.)

Friend: “She already bought this bra. She just wants to swap it out for a different size. Why are you making her pay for it twice?”

Me: *ignoring the friend* “Corporate changed the rules, and we have to do exchanges on two separate transactions. Before, we could just give you back your money and ring up your new purchases in the same step. We can’t do that anymore. We have do returns and purchases in two separate steps. It can be confusing at first.”

Customer: “Yes, it’s very confusing. I just want my money back.”

Me: *pointing to her return receipt* “I just put the amount you paid for the bra that didn’t fit back onto the card you used to pay for it. The bra you’re replacing it with is the exact same price. In the end, your credit card balance will not change. Do you still want to purchase this bra?”

Customer: “Well, I guess I have to. I need a bra. You’re sure my credit card balance will be the same?”

Me: “Yes. It can take up to 48 hours for your refund to go through. If, two days from now, you check your credit card balance and you haven’t gotten your [refund amount] back, please call the customer service number at the bottom of your receipt and we can get it sorted out. But I can’t think of any reason why it wouldn’t go through.”

(The customer, clearly not satisfied with my explanation, thanked me and walked away. Her friend was loudly complaining about how we “made her buy the same bra twice,” and “wouldn’t give her her money back.” Later that week, a different lady came in with a return, which I processed. When we were done, she said she wanted to look around. She ended up buying some things, and after I was done ringing her items, she insisted that her total shouldn’t be so much because she wanted her refund credited toward her new purchase. Do people seriously not understand how credit cards work?)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77

This story is part of the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

Read the next Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup story!

Read the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

(I work in a university cafe, so we often get large takeaway orders for an office of people. One woman comes straight to the counter in a hurry while I’m just drying my hands at the sink.)

Customer: “I need one mocha trim, long black, decaf soy latte…”

(She lists about 10 or 12 coffees, ordered at triple speed. I run over to the counter at about the fourth coffee and start frantically trying to log into the till and input the coffees.)

Me: “I’m sorry, can you please slow down a little and repeat those orders?”

Customer: “I just told you what I wanted; I can’t remember them all!”

Me: “Okay… I picked up on a long black, two mochas, three lattes… What sizes and what milk were for these?”

Customer: “Well, how should I know? They’re not all for me!”

Me: “Um… Well, do you have the orders written down? We wouldn’t want anyone to miss out.”

Customer: “God! Of course I don’t! And I’m not going all the way back to the office to get the orders again! Can you just make what I already told you?!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I didn’t catch everything you ordered. If you could please get the order again, written down, I can give you a free coffee card for your trouble.”

(The woman rolled her eyes in a huff and snatched the free coffee card from my hand as she went to walk up one flight of stairs to the office to retake everyone’s orders. Unfortunately, this is a recurring issue and nobody ever seems to learn from the first time.)

(I work at a bakery in a large retail store.)

Customer: “What flavor cupcakes do you have?”

(All of our baked goods come in frozen.)

Me: “White or chocolate.”

Customer: “Do you have marble?”

Me: “No. We have white or chocolate. You can do half-and-half if you like.”

Customer: “So… you don’t have marble?”

Me: “No. We have white or chocolate.”

Customer: “Do you have strawberry?”

Me: “White or chocolate.”

Customer: “Do you have spice cake?”

Me: “We offer white or chocolate cupcakes.”

Customer: “So… no marble, then?”

(This went on for a few more minutes. I did eventually take the order, but, seriously?)

(I came across this gem in a spam email I received impersonating another organization:)

Spam Footer: “Remember: We ask for private information such as an account number, card PIN, Social Security, or Tax ID number in email messages.”