(I work in a dollar store. A customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “So, if I don’t see any prices, how do I know how much it is?” 

Me: “Miss, this is a dollar store;  everything is $1 or less and it’s marked if it’s less.”

Customer: “Well, you should still mark it if it’s a dollar so people know.” 

(She strutted off. Keep in mind that we have strips that say, “$1,” going down ALL the aisles.)

(I work as a salesperson for a local farm that produces cheese. Part of my job is to go to supermarkets which sell cheese — not only pre-packed but also “fresh” — from a counter so the supermarket can decide if they want to sell some of my cheese. I walk into yet another supermarket, where I have an appointment with the manager of the cheese counter, who is in charge of what gets sold.)

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name], and I’m from [Farm]. I have an appointment with you to present our assortment to you. So, to start with, we solely produce cheese made of raw milk.”

Counter Manager: *visibly confused* “What’s a raw?”

(Apparently, she thought a raw was some sort of animal, like, she knew cow milk and goat milk, but not raw milk.)

(I work in a large office building with multiple floors. Each floor has several small break rooms scattered around it, each with a commercial-sized by-the-cup coffee machine, an ice maker, a sink, and so on. Each floor also has a single much larger break room with all that plus refrigerators, microwaves, vending machines, and lunch tables. We have an online ticketing system to alert the maintenance team to any building maintenance issues we notice, like leaky faucets or restroom problems. One of the things the ticket requires is your desk number. I put a ticket in a while back, and this morning it was marked “closed complete,” but the problem hasn’t been fixed. This conversation happens in text-chat with the person who was handling my ticket.)

Me: “Hey, I saw you closed my maintenance ticket [number] about a coffee machine that’s under-serving, but I went over there and tried it just now, and it’s still doing exactly the same thing as before. I ordered a large and I got about four ounces of coffee. It doesn’t look like it’s been touched at all.”

Maintenance: “Yes, I can look into that for you. The company that handles the coffee machines did come out and do maintenance on that unit.”

Me: “Well, it’s not fixed.”

Maintenance: “Okay, I’ll inquire further. What’s the desk number?”

Me: “Break rooms don’t have desk numbers.”

Maintenance: “I meant, what’s your desk number? The ticket says you sit right next to the large break room on the third floor.”

(I realize what happened.)

Me: “No, this isn’t in the break room that’s closest to my desk. It’s the small break room in zone 12 on the third floor, like I said in the ticket. It’s on the south side of the building, right next to [conference room].”

Maintenance: “Oh, okay. They did maintenance on the one in the large break room.”

Me: “I was very clear in the ticket about which break room I was reporting”

Maintenance: “Calm down; there’s no need to get upset. We get a lot of tickets with no details in them.”

Me: “Okay, I wasn’t upset until you said that. I know you normally don’t get a lot of details; that’s exactly why I was very specific about which machine I was talking about! I went out of my way to give you lots of detailed information, and you just ignored it all because I sit somewhere else on the floor?”

Maintenance: “I have entered the maintenance order. Have a good day.”

(They disconnected.)

(I’m a producer for a video game publishing company, attending a well-known gaming convention on behalf of my company. We have a few upcoming games on display, and we like to chat with and answer questions for players. A lot of the time, you get questions that might seem sort of silly or naive because people don’t understand the nuts and bolts of what’s actually involved in making a game, but I never mind answering. I’m talking to a guy who is a fan of one of our older games.)

Guy: “I just don’t get why you guys haven’t made a sequel.”

Me: “Well, it would be nice to consider one day if we had a good plan for it! Right now all our resources are tied up in these games, plus a few other projects we haven’t announced yet, but maybe one day!”

Guy: *scoffs* “So, just make it free.”

Me: “The… game you’re talking about?”

Guy: “No, make a free sequel. Free to play.”

Me: “Well, I mean… like I said, we’re committed to other projects right now, so it’ll be some time before we could even consider additional work.”

Guy: *staring at me as if I’m an idiot* “But it would be free.”

Bystander: “Games that are free-to-play still cost money and take time and people and other resources to make, dude.”

Guy: *still looking at me* “But it would be a free game.”

(We went back and forth like this a bit, and being that I was there representing our brand and trying to be professional I couldn’t say what I wanted to which was, “Is this a f****** joke? Are you deliberately messing with me?” To this day, I’m still not sure if he legitimately thought a game being free to play would somehow negate all the human and financial cost required to create it, as if it would be farted out of the ether, but he eventually just walked off looking annoyed. I still love conventions and interacting with fans, but some of them definitely really make you earn that round of drinks at the end of the day.)

(My mother has worked in retail for years. When I get my first job in retail we are talking about how stupid customers can be. I doubt her until she recalls this story. She works in a shop that sells disposable barbeques throughout the summer. One day, an angry-looking woman storms up to the till that my mother is working on and slams a carrier bag on the table.)

Customer: “I want to return it!”

(My mother opens the carrier bag and pulls out an opened disposable barbeque. Immediately, she knows something is very off about this, as it is damp and freezing cold.)

Mother: “I’m sorry to hear that. What was the problem with it?”

Customer: “Well, it was awful! It completely ruined our afternoon!”

Mother: “How so?”

Customer: “Well, I bought it in here yesterday so that we could use it this afternoon! I took it straight home and put it in my freezer!”

Mother: “Uh… you did what?”

Customer: “I put it in my freezer so it would be ready for today! Anyway, I opened it today after inviting my entire family round and there was nothing in it!”

Mother: *holding the barbeque and extremely puzzled* “The barbeque wasn’t in it?”

Customer: “Oh, the barbeque was in there, but the burgers were missing!”

Mother: “Erm, disposable barbeques only contain the barbeque itself. You have to buy the food separately.”

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