I work for a bank. I am dealing with a new customer who opened a credit card only two weeks ago. She immediately tried to make a purchase for a few thousand dollars and got declined because it was high-risk and she had no spending history. That’s not unusual, and it’s an easy fix, usually. Someone called in regarding her account and was super fishy — marked as a suspicious caller — and couldn’t pass basic security — not hard if you are who you say you are.

We put the account under review for a few hours. The customer didn’t answer any notifications.

Today, she calls me to ask why she’s getting declined. She breezes through security. I explain that, as a new card member in a health crisis — lots of fraud — during the holiday season — even more fraud — that it is normal to experience declines until she develops a spending pattern — about one month — and give her the direct number to my department to speed up the process.

She then inquires if her husband can call in on the account. I explain that he’s not on the account, so no. Cue muffled whispering, “Well, we should get our rewards points that we didn’t get because we got declined.”

No, you don’t get points for not being able to pass your own security. Turns out it was her husband that called in, not her, which is why they failed security. Don’t lie; we can smell bulls*** a mile away.

This was a few years back but well after 9/11 and the extra measures put in place after the events. I was waiting in line for the security check and in front of me was a travel group, about thirty individuals, mostly elderly people. They were from a part of the country generally joked about as being slow. Now, it is wrong to treat people according to stereotypes, but sometimes… they just can’t help confirming it.

I belatedly realized I had a liquid lip gloss on me and started to doubt whether it would be considered a liquid or not. I decided to treat it as a liquid and put it separate from the rest of my luggage in a clear plastic bag as per regulations.

An older lady from the group asked me what I was doing and I explained my predicament.

Lady: “Oh, I have a bottle of water with me!”

Me: “You should put it in a separate bag, too. And they might confiscate it for being too much liquid.”

That was all duly indicated with large signs. She got a stubborn expression on her face.

Lady: “They’d better not confiscate my water! I need it in case I get thirsty! I also have my good potato knife with me, in case I have to skin an apple on the plane.”

I held my peace this time and let security do their job.

My remark about the liquid travelled through the group, but they all decided defiantly to hold onto their liquids. I kid you not, each and every member of the group had at least one item confiscated, being it liquids or sharp objects, and most of them wouldn’t give in without a fight. Apart from that, the majority had to be patted down because the metal detector gave an alarm.

I’m still unsure if my lip gloss was considered a liquid but I was the first to walk through without any confiscation and alarm.

A member of the security, frantically trying to keep an overview and prevent anyone giving him the slip, tried to stop me and guide me to the members of the group waiting to be patted down as his colleague told him I could go. I just smiled as he looked a bit dazed and surprised as well as a bit relieved.

I work at a call center for a security company. I’ve just had a customer transferred requesting some information about his account. Pretty standard, or so I think.

Me: “Thank you for holding; this is [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for some information about scheduling for my system.”

Me: “Sure. Can I verify your code?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your code? Your PIN that you use to arm and disarm?”

Customer: “We don’t do that. You do all that from there.”

This is not true. We’re not able to arm and disarm the alarm remotely. I let this slide.

Me: “Well, I just need a way to verify who you are.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I’ve never been asked this before.”

Also not true. Any time he called in for any reason, he would have been asked this.

Me: “Well, if you don’t know your PIN, you can email—”

Customer: “Can’t you just use my phone number? That’s what I’ve always done before.”

His phone number is not listed on the account.

Me: “No, but what you can do is—”

Customer: “Can I talk to someone else?”

Me: “They’re just going to tell you the same thing. You can email—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Can I talk to your supervisor?”

Me: “Okay.”

I try to transfer him to my supervisor. She’s busy.

Me: “Okay, she’s going to have to give you a call back. Is this a good number to reach you?”

Customer: “Yes. Honestly, this is so frustrating. I’ve never been asked this before. Maybe I’ll talk to [Coworker]. He knows who the heck I am.”

Knowing full well that the coworker would also need to ask for the PIN, I make a vague noise of agreement.

Me: “Okay, I’ll send my supervisor a message and she’ll call you back.”

Customer: “I hope so. This is so frustrating.”

Yeah, and being interrupted and yelled at over the phone isn’t, I guess.

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 18
PIN-Headed, Part 17
PIN-Headed, Part 16
PIN-Headed, Part 15
PIN-Headed, Part 14

I am the “disrupted operations supervisor” for my airline, dealing with delays, cancellations, and disruptive passengers. I’m called to escort a passenger to the luggage claim because his bag is vibrating, and the police want to speak with him.

The officer opens the bag in front of him and removes a battery-operated shaving machine.

Officer: “Sir, do you know it’s illegal to carry batteries in your hold luggage?”

Passenger: “No, I didn’t.”

Then he turns to me and asks:

Passenger: “How are you going to fix this?”

Me: “Well, either you remove the battery or you carry it in your hand.”

Passenger: *Yelling* “The battery can’t be removed, you moron! And I’m not taking nothing in my hands.” *Smirking* “So, how are you going to fix it?”

I signal the officer to stand down and answer.

Me: “Sir, please there’s no need for that. In this case, the item will have to stay behind unless you’re willing to reconsider.”

Passenger: “H*** no. You’re not keeping it and I won’t carry it in my hand.” *Smirking again* “So, how are you going to fix it?”

I repeat myself and he repeats his question.

Me: “Sir, I don’t have time for this.”

I put the item in the destruction bin.

Me: “Please proceed to the boarding gate and have a nice flight.”

As I’m turning away, the police start to escort him back to the boarding lounge.

Passenger: “I guess I’ll just borrow my friend’s machine from his bag.”

The cops stopped and led him into the police station. The airport called his friend and removed his bags from the plane, causing a ten-minute delay. They were issued fines and lost their flight.

I have just noticed some fraudulent charges on our bank account at a big box store in Texas from my husband’s debit card. I immediately check to see if he still has his card — he does — and then call to get it canceled.

As a matter of “security,” I know that the card shouldn’t even work out of state without someone calling in and setting a travel advisory.

Because it’s after hours on a Sunday, I have to wait until the next day to dispute the charges, which results in the following exchange.

Bank Accounts Manager: “What can I help you with?”

Me: “My husband’s card was used in Texas, and I need to dispute the charges and get him a new card.”

Manager: “Okay. What is the name on the account?”

Me: “[My Name], and my husband is [Husband].”

Manager: “Okay, yes, I see those charges. It never should have happened because we locked down Texas after a lot of these happening.”

Me: “Well, I just need to dispute the charges and get him a new card.”

Manager: “Oh, he doesn’t need a new card.”

Me: “I already canceled it with the rep last night, so he will definitely need a new one.”

Manager: “Well, you shouldn’t have done that! He doesn’t need a new card.”

Me: “Regardless, could you please just order it for me?”

Manager: “Okay. I have the charges disputed and the money back into your account, and the new card is ordered. Is there anything else you need?”

Me: “No, thank you. Have a good day!”

It wasn’t until after I hung up that I realized she never asked me for identifiers beyond the name on the account. Gee, I wonder how the card was unlocked for use in Texas?

I had to call a second time about a month later when the card didn’t arrive. It turned out that she had never ordered it.