A Wordsliposaurus

, , , | Right | March 30, 2020

(My husband and I work at the same hotel; I am housekeeping and he’s at the front desk. A fellow housekeeper quit, so even though I’m part-time, I’m working six days a week while my husband has his normal full-time hours.

I am assisting with planning my sister’s baby shower which is the day after my son’s birthday. Exactly a week before my son’s birthday, my father has a heart attack which, thankfully, he survives. I am giving this information so one can understand how crazy things are.

We decide to do a last-minute party on my son’s birthday two days away since it’s my husband’s day off before I go to work. When we confirm this, I literally run to the bakery for a cake. When I get there, it is busy; I manage to place a late order for the party.)

Baker: “Writing?”

Me: “Happy Birthday, [Son].”

Baker: “Colours?”

Me: “He likes blue… and green… and red… It doesn’t really matter; he likes all colours.”

Baker: “Would you like flowers or balloons or something?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be great.”

Baker: “Which one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, umm, actually, would it be possible for a dinosaur?” 

Baker: “Sure, you can bring in a picture and we can put it on the cake, but it’s much more expensive.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t need to be fancy. I was thinking like a doodle of one instead of balloons. My son is turning three; he will recognize it even if it’s not pretty.”

(The baker looks at me a little confused and I ask to borrow her pen and paper and draw a head long neck and body.)

Baker: “Oh, now I understand. Well, everyone would know that’s a dinosaur, and that should be easier than flowers.”

Me: “And my boy is obsessed with dinosaurs, so he’ll be so happy.”

Baker: “Okay, it will be ready at [time] on [birthday].”

Me: “Okay, great, thank you for being difficult.”

(I turn to walk away and I realized what I said.)

Me: “Oh, my God! I meant to say, ‘Thank you, and sorry for being difficult.’!”

(Thankfully, the baker thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard and was laughing… as was literally everyone who heard me.)

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Unfiltered Story #184130

, , | Unfiltered | January 28, 2020

(It’s amazing how often some people forget when they order extras it will increase their final bill.)

Sheriff: “I’ll have the special, I’ll also have the soup, add a gravy as well, and a drink.”

 (This adds approximately seven extra dollars added to the bill.)

Sheriff: *pays* “Why does it cost so much more than the price of the special on the board?”

Two local teachers. One who is a regular and one who rarely comes.

Rare customer Teacher: I want an order of chicken wings to start. I’ll have the Chicken Burger, add bacon to it, can you make the fries a poutine? I also want a drink.

Regular Customer Teacher: I’ll have the exact same thing, but I don’t want chicken wings.

Each burger orders price is now increased by approx 7 dollars from the add ons, not including the drinks.

Rare customer to regular: I’ll pay today, go ahead and I’ll see you later! *hears total* It costs how much?!

The Time Traveller’s Strife

, , , , , | Right | November 10, 2019

(Working in a photo lab, I see all kinds of terrible pictures. On this occasion, after I develop the negatives, this customer’s pictures are completely out of focus. I develop them anyway, because they seem to be of a vacation, and mark them as “no charge.” When she comes to pick them up, she demands that the cashier come and get me.)

Customer: “These pictures are all out of focus!”

Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. I salvaged everything I could.”

Customer: “I want you to try again.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll see what I can do, but don’t hold your breath.”

(I print them again and try to adjust brightness and saturation to try and get more definition, but it’s still terribly blurry.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, this is the best I can do.”

Customer: “I want you to do this properly, and print them in focus!”

Me: “Ma’am, the only way that’s happening is if I go back in time and teach you how to use a camera.”

(She stormed off and I got a complaint, but it was worth it.)

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Unfiltered Story #160152

, , , | Unfiltered | August 18, 2019

(This happened to me in my days as a pump attendant. In the defence of the customer i did neglect to ask them a crucial piece of information before starting the pump. I was outside with my colleague chatting with them, it was nearly the end of my work day when a new Ford diesel super duty pulls up and asks for 20 dollars of diesel. Most people who ask for 20 dollars of fuel usually just hand me a 20 dollar bill so i decided to just pump it without asking, and this happened)
Me: OK so that’ll be $20
(Customer shoves a debit card at me, tells me the pin and his member number, and says he wants a receipt)
Me: (saying inside “oh crap”) oh…..OK, I’ll be back in a minute.
(I go inside and attempt to pay but I forgot the pin, so i go back out)
Me: Hi, sorry I seem to have gotten your pin wrong. What was it again?
Customer: buddy! Come on! You should have asked me how I was paying first! It’s (pin)!
(I go back inside, enter the pin info correctly but apparently got his member number wrong. I’m just finishing up and getting his receipt when he comes in)
Me: Oh! Hi! OK so I got it all done for you, here’s your receipt….
(He looks at me with a very condescending expression, points at my nametag, says my name out loud, just nods, turns around and walks out. This was the end of my shift so i went into the back to start changing out of my work gear, when my Co worker comes in)
Co worker: so that guy you helped just came back in screaming “where’s that (name) kid! He got my member number wrong! If i see him again I’m going to pin him against the wall!”
(After that moment i never failed to ask how the customer was paying before hand. I’ve had angry customers before but they’ve never threatened to physically harm me. Funny thing is i have a Co worker with the same name as me and he came back another day, saw his nametag, and started giving him a hard time!)

Unfiltered Story #160142

, , , | Unfiltered | August 17, 2019

(I work at a furniture store that does automated telemarketing to past customers to inform them of upcoming sales events. Needless to say, the system isn’t perfect. One day i picked up this call)
Me: thank you for calling (store) this is (name) speaking.
Customer: hi this is (name) returning your call. I’m just letting you know that i just got called 5 times in 2 f*cking hours and i’m just calling to tell you to f*ck off. *click*
Me: *mouth agape, speechless*