Their Stance On This Is Frozen

, , , | Right | April 20, 2020

I’m speaking to a customer on the phone.

Customer: “Do you have any organic frozen French fries in stock?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell those.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I’ve bought them there before.”

Me: “I’ve never seen them here, but I’ll ask someone else.”

Two minutes later…

Me: “My coworker also says we’ve never sold frozen fries.”

Customer: “Well, you used to. I bought some two years ago.”

Me: “Ma’am, my coworker has been here six years and has never seen them here.”

Customer: “Oh.”

A few hours later, a man walks into the store.

Me: “Hi! Can I help you find something?”

Man: “My wife sent me here for organic frozen fries.”

Me: “…”

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Getting It Right Is A Long Shot

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2020

(I work switchboard for the local teaching hospital. This means we deal with a lot of trainee doctors and medical students; they come from all over the country and province, often only for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes they make me question the future of our health system.)

Caller: “This is [Caller]. I’m a med student. I have forgotten my pager and need calls to go through to my cell phone.”

Me: “Okay, the number we have on file for you is [number].”

Caller: “That’s right.”

Me: “Is that long-distance?”

(Saskatchewan has two area codes, but they both cover the whole province, so either can be local or long-distance. If it’s a long-distance call, you need to add a 1 in front so that the phone system knows it’s long-distance. Generally speaking, if you need to dial a number anywhere in the province outside your local town/city, you need the 1.)

Caller: “Well, it’s a Saskatchewan number.”

Me: “But is it a Saskatoon number? Is this a long-distance number?”

Caller: *noncommittal noise*

Me: “I need to know if this is long-distance so we can dial it correctly to reach you.”

Caller: “My understanding of long-distance is that it is only outside the province.”

(This is a future doctor, people.)

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Wash Your Hands Clean Of This Guest

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2020

(I am a housekeeper in a hotel in my town that holds a lot of contracts with companies, meaning they get a discount price when they use us. One of our biggest contracts is with the railroad; we have rooms set aside for transport — in and out constantly because they are driving the trains — and some who are long-term that are brought in to work in the area for a long period before moving to the next location.

This involves a guy in a crew that is part of the long-term group. For the record, a lot of them have told me they don’t actually have a permanent address — that they literally live out of hotel rooms and just stay with family if they have a break between jobs.)

Coworker: “Hey, do you have room 123 on your list?”

Me: “Yes, they had their ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign up.”

Coworker: “Well, I just had a guy tell me to clean his d*** room.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go now.”

(I head to the room, and when I get there the sign is still up and I hear people inside. I knock and identify myself as housekeeping. The guest opens the door.)

Guest: “About d*** time.”

Me: *smiling* “Hi, my coworker said you asked for service. Is there something specific you needed?”

Guest: “I need my f****** room cleaned! I have been here almost a week and no one has been doing their jobs and f****** cleaned it.”

Me: *keeping my nicest smile I can* “I am sorry about that. I noticed your ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign is up; may I ask how long it has been up?”

Guest: “I put it up when I got here so no one comes in when I’m f****** sleeping.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, sir, but we are not allowed to enter a room when the sign is up without permission, and as the sign indicates, we cannot disturb the person to ask for it. Technically, since it’s still up, I shouldn’t have knocked.”

Guest: “I don’t want you to disturb me when I am sleeping but I still want my room cleaned! God, you are stupid!”

Me: *still smiling* “I am sorry, sir, but we have no way of knowing that you are not sleeping unless you take it down.”

Guest: “So, you won’t come in at all unless I hunt you down like an animal and ask? That’s bulls***!”

Me: “A lot of guests do not like the idea of strangers being in their room so they keep it up at all times and ask if towels or any other items are needed.”

Another Guy In The Room: “So, that’s why you asked if he needed something specific?”

Me: “Yes, sir, most common requests are fresh towels or for us to take out the garbage.”

Guest: “Well, I want my entire room cleaned.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but in future, you will either need to take down the sign or again ask for assistance.”

Guest: “What if I forget to put it up?! I don’t want you in the room while I’m sleeping!”

Me: “We always knock first but if no response is received and we enter to find someone sleeping we leave immediately. But the door does have a deadbolt; if you lock it no one can enter, not even with our master key. If you want, you can lock your door so if your sign is not up we will knock but we can’t come in.”

Guest: “Really?”

(With the door open, I lock the deadbolt and use my key, showing him that it won’t unlock.)

Guest: “Well, the sign is only for when I am sleeping.”

(Thankfully, the other guy in the room convinced him to leave me to clean in peace. This guy had one of the dirtiest rooms I had ever cleaned. Since we are not allowed to touch guest’s stuff we have to clean around it. The bathtub had a black ring around it and there were personal hygiene products all across the sink and clothes everywhere that made vacuuming impossible, and I had to hop to get to his bed which, thankfully, didn’t have anything on it.

The worst was the kitchen. He had trash and dirty dishes across the counters as well as food and other things. Each room has recycling and two garbage cans; all were empty. We are allowed to empty the cans, but we can’t clean up since we cannot guarantee what is garbage and what isn’t.

While I was cleaning the front desk came to tell me I had transport rooms that needed to be cleaned ASAP and thankfully saw the mess, which was good because the guy actually complained that I didn’t properly clean his room. When asked, he said it was still a mess and that I didn’t do his dishes.)

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A Wordsliposaurus

, , , | Right | March 30, 2020

(My husband and I work at the same hotel; I am housekeeping and he’s at the front desk. A fellow housekeeper quit, so even though I’m part-time, I’m working six days a week while my husband has his normal full-time hours.

I am assisting with planning my sister’s baby shower which is the day after my son’s birthday. Exactly a week before my son’s birthday, my father has a heart attack which, thankfully, he survives. I am giving this information so one can understand how crazy things are.

We decide to do a last-minute party on my son’s birthday two days away since it’s my husband’s day off before I go to work. When we confirm this, I literally run to the bakery for a cake. When I get there, it is busy; I manage to place a late order for the party.)

Baker: “Writing?”

Me: “Happy Birthday, [Son].”

Baker: “Colours?”

Me: “He likes blue… and green… and red… It doesn’t really matter; he likes all colours.”

Baker: “Would you like flowers or balloons or something?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be great.”

Baker: “Which one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, umm, actually, would it be possible for a dinosaur?” 

Baker: “Sure, you can bring in a picture and we can put it on the cake, but it’s much more expensive.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t need to be fancy. I was thinking like a doodle of one instead of balloons. My son is turning three; he will recognize it even if it’s not pretty.”

(The baker looks at me a little confused and I ask to borrow her pen and paper and draw a head long neck and body.)

Baker: “Oh, now I understand. Well, everyone would know that’s a dinosaur, and that should be easier than flowers.”

Me: “And my boy is obsessed with dinosaurs, so he’ll be so happy.”

Baker: “Okay, it will be ready at [time] on [birthday].”

Me: “Okay, great, thank you for being difficult.”

(I turn to walk away and I realized what I said.)

Me: “Oh, my God! I meant to say, ‘Thank you, and sorry for being difficult.’!”

(Thankfully, the baker thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard and was laughing… as was literally everyone who heard me.)

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Unfiltered Story #184130

, , | Unfiltered | January 28, 2020

(It’s amazing how often some people forget when they order extras it will increase their final bill.)

Sheriff: “I’ll have the special, I’ll also have the soup, add a gravy as well, and a drink.”

 (This adds approximately seven extra dollars added to the bill.)

Sheriff: *pays* “Why does it cost so much more than the price of the special on the board?”

Two local teachers. One who is a regular and one who rarely comes.

Rare customer Teacher: I want an order of chicken wings to start. I’ll have the Chicken Burger, add bacon to it, can you make the fries a poutine? I also want a drink.

Regular Customer Teacher: I’ll have the exact same thing, but I don’t want chicken wings.

Each burger orders price is now increased by approx 7 dollars from the add ons, not including the drinks.

Rare customer to regular: I’ll pay today, go ahead and I’ll see you later! *hears total* It costs how much?!