At one retail job, we closed at 10:00 and opened at 7:00. After closing, we were expected to clean up our departments and then, when we were done, go help the other departments not yet finished. It was a large store, but my department was easy to handle, and I kept moving all night, so I straightened as I went. I was always done by 10:30, which would have been a normal clock-out time.

But the other departments were a mess. More often than not, I would end up being there past midnight. Of course, I was scheduled to open the next day and had to be there before 7:00 for store meetings. Combined with my travel time, I was lucky to get five hours of sleep.

I started really reading my employee handbook, and I found an interesting passage stating that there has to be a minimum of eight hours between shifts. So, the next night that they had me go help another department, I said:

Me: “Sure, but it’s already 10:25. I won’t be able to help so much in the five minutes before I clock out.”

The manager was stunned.

Manager: “Why would you be clocking out at 10:30? Everyone has to stay to help clean up.”

Me: “Well, yes. However, according to the employee handbook, I’m required to have eight hours between shifts. You have me scheduled in tomorrow at 6:30 to open. So, I can stay to help, but does that mean I’m coming in later? Nobody else is scheduled to open my department. The next person coming in is at 9:00.”

They fretted and grumbled a bit and then said for me to clock out.

I didn’t have a bit of trouble clocking out on time after that.

Our store has a membership card that allows access to quite significant discounts. Customers can fill out the application form online, but older customers tend to fill it out physically in-store. There is an optional diversity section for market research that asks questions about sex, gender, ethnicity, orientation, religion, etc. A reminder, that section is entirely optional; you can leave it all blank if you like.

An older male customer approaches me with his completed form.

Customer: “I filled out your form, but that diversity section needs some work.”

Me: “Oh, how so?”

Customer: “Well, I’m white! I ain’t got no ethnicity!”

Me: “I… see?”

Customer: “And why y’all gotta confuse us by asking for our pronouns and s***?”

Me: “Well, when we send out emails or letters, we’d prefer to know how to address our customers.”

Customer: “But I’m straight! I don’t have any pronouns!” 

Oh, boy…

I’m working the graveyard shift at a warehouse store; we stock shelves while the place is closed. My boss comes by one night.

Boss: “I need you to help out with a spill in aisle seventeen.”

I figure someone dropped a jug of detergent or something. It turns out one of the guys with the forklifts knocked into the shelving causing pallets of material to slide off. There had to be a six-foot pile of stuff on this forklift.

The mess is a mixture of detergent (dry and liquid), pet food, and random light bulbs. I spend all shift cleaning it up, and my clothes are completely caked by the end.

I am off the next day, but I still get a call from my boss.

Boss: “You okay?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Boss: “Well, that bin we made you fill up with that junk from yesterday…”

Me: “Yeah?”

Boss: “It spontaneously caught fire…”

Me: “…”

Boss: “Thought you’d like to know…”

Customer: “I want to return this.”

Me: “Can I see the receipt, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have it anymore.”

Me: “We haven’t sold this item since last year. Normally, without a receipt, I can only give you store credit, but since this item is no longer one that we sell, I can’t even do that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Just give me the store credit based on how much you’d resell it for, then!”

Me: “That would just be a penny, sir.”

Customer: “Why are you refusing me customer service?!”

Me: “The return policy is within thirty days and requires you to have a receipt. Those are the terms of customer service.”

Customer: “You’re just paid to say that!”

Me: “As a matter of fact, I am paid to say that. That’s how jobs work.”

Related:
Well, We’re Not Here For Fun!

Last night, I stopped at a motorway service place in the UK. I’m not going to be more specific because I bet what these guys did is against policy, and I don’t want them to get into trouble.

I had had a long day and was looking for something to eat. All the concessions were already closed except for the [Famous Fried Chicken], and as I approached their counter, it was clear that they, too, were trying to close.

Worker: “We’re about to close. Would you mind ordering quickly, please?”

Me: “I don’t mind. Is there anything you don’t have? I don’t want you to have to start cooking something new and make you stay later.”

Worker: “We have most things.

When I ordered, he told me they had everything I wanted.

Five minutes later, I opened up my bag and found that the chips were a little old, but the box of chicken pieces was CRAMMED to the top; it would barely close. They had loaded it with as much of the stuff they would otherwise have had to throw away as they could fit in.

Guys, be nice to retail staff; they’ll be nice to you!