Your Child Knows Copyright From Wrong

, , , , | Working | September 15, 2017

(My daughter is used for ads in another country, and the photographer gives me digital copies to use as I want. I take my daughter everywhere with me, because I’m a single mom. I go to get copies of the unused shots for the grandparents.)

Worker: “We can’t print these.”

Me: “Why?”

Worker: “They are obviously not yours!”

Me: “I’ve been given the right to use them.”

Worker: “Well, that’s not your kid!”

Me: *looking down at my kid* “She’s not?!”

My Kid: *looking up* “Hi! I’m [Name].” *then spells it* “I’m four!”

Worker: “That doesn’t prove she’s yours!”

Me: “I’ll go elsewhere.”

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Beyoncé’s Favorite Print Shop

, , | Right | August 31, 2017

(An older client comes in.)

Client: “Do you do lemonade?”

Me: “Do we do… lemonade?”

Client: “Yes, I was told you do that here.”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is a graphics and print shop.”

Client: “I know that. I’m not an idiot.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Client: “Look. If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!”

Me: “Do you mean… laminate?”

(Eventually he got his files “lemonaded”!)

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Photocopiers Just Get Cooler And Cooler

| Right | May 18, 2017

(A middle-aged lady walks into our print shop one afternoon and comes to the counter looking a bit hesitant.)

Me: “Hello, can I help?”

Customer: “My friend told me I can do photocopies here. Is that right?”

Me: “Yes, certainly.”

Customer: “Oh… well, where are the photocopiers?”

Me: “Well, there’s one just behind you. And one over there by the door. And one up there, and one just beyond it.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought they were fridges!”

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A Bad Temp-erament

| Working | April 14, 2017

(I work in a print production facility where we print large quantities of things like pamphlets, booklets, and instructional guides. We also do a lot of the bindery work that has to be done after they are printed. When we get heavy workloads we often hire temps to help with the fairly easy — but time consuming — bindery tasks. I witnessed this one morning.)

Manager: *walking in with a temp worker* “Hi, [Coworker], this is [Temp]. She’ll be helping you out today. Show her what she needs to do.”

Coworker: “Okay, sure thing! Right this way, [Temp]!”

(My coworker spends about 10 or 15 minutes showing the temp how to use the machinery and what work needs to be done.)

Temp: “Wait, this is it?”

Coworker: “What?”

Temp: “This is ALL I’m doing today?”

Coworker: “Uh… Yes. This is what we need help with.”

Temp: “I don’t want to do this.”

Coworker: *a bit dumbfounded at this point* “Well… this is what we hired you for; this is why you’re here.”

Temp: *getting slightly aggressive* “Well, I’m better than this. I shouldn’t have to do this!”

Coworker: “There’s nothing else for you to do here. We hired you from the temp agency to come do these tasks. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Temp: “Fine!”

(She finally starts doing the work she is supposed to, but very slowly, and complains about it several times. A couple hours later the temp gets the manager’s attention and asks him about when she can take a lunch break. My coworker must have already told the manager about the temp’s attitude.)

Temp: “When do I get to take a lunch?”

Manager: “You can go ahead and go now. And don’t come back. We’re calling the temp agency and getting a replacement for you.”

(The temp was not happy to hear it, but I don’t know what she expected from us after acting like that!)

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Placing An Ad In The Daily Prophet

| Right | February 22, 2017

(I answer the phone.)

Customer: “I sent you the file for my ad. Were you able to open it?”

Me: “I don’t see anything in the email except your signature. Are you sure you sent it?”

Customer: “Yes! It’s the running bird!”

Me: “The animated gif file in your signature?”

Customer: “That’s the one.”

Me: “This is a print shop. I can’t even begin to explain why this won’t print.”

Customer: “There are moving billboards now. Aren’t those printed? Do what the billboards do.”

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