Our house has an alarm system. My dog — a lab mix a little on the bigger side — sleeps inside. One morning, I get up to feed him and let him out. He’s very excited (as is normal because, you know, he’s a dog) and as I’m half-asleep trying to turn off the alarm, he leans against me and knocks me off-balance. As I am in the process of keying in the code, my finger misses the key I am aiming for and instead hits the fire alarm.

Even though I cancel it fairly quickly, it still sends the alert to the alarm company. They try to call my dad, but between the fact that he is up making sure the house is safe and not on fire and the fact that his phone is on silent, he misses the call. So, of course, they dispatch firefighters because they’re doing their job.

I answer the door when they arrive because I am closest.

Me: “Um, hi?”

Firefighter: “Hello. [Alarm Company] alerted us to a possible fire at this house.”

Me: “Oh, um…”

I’m completely embarrassed even though it was an accident. To be fair, I am a teenage girl with messed-up hair and wearing old pajamas, and these are cute firefighters.

Me: “Yeah, that was me. I was trying to turn off the alarm to let him—” *indicates the dog, who is excitedly trying to make friends with the firefighters* “—out, and he bumped me, and I fell against the button.”

By this point, my dad has come down the stairs, having just finished calling back the alarm company.

Dad: “I missed the alarm company’s call to cancel the alert. We’re sorry for any issues this caused.”

Firefighter: “It’s no worry. We understand that things happen, but we do need to check the alarm really fast.”

Dad: “Please do.”

I managed to get the dog away from all his new friends and send him to the backyard while they tested the alarm. After that, I made sure to be steadier on my feet or occupy the dog with one of his toys before trying to turn the alarm off.

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Abuse

It is an unusually hot day today.

Woman: “Can we make this quick? My dog is in the car and I don’t know if he will be able to last much longer.”

Me: “Oh, my goodness!”

I put through all her items as quickly as I can and call a bagger down to bag them. She fusses over it so much that she decides to bag everything herself, ignoring me when asking for payment. She has been here for about twenty minutes now.

Woman: “What about the discounts?!”

Me: “Do you have a loyalty card?”

Woman: “DID YOU NOT F****** HEAR ME?! MY DOG IS DYING!”

I call the nearest manager over and he agrees to enable the discount without the loyalty card. After she pays, with change, she leans into me. The entire purchase has lasted nearly half an hour.

Woman: *Almost whispering* “If my dog is dead, I’m blaming you!”

I’m actually in tears and the manager decides to let me finish early, as I only have an hour left and the woman left me quite emotional. As I leave, I notice the woman in the car park, loading her boot. As I walk up to her, my heart is literally in my throat. I can’t see the dog anywhere so imagine the worst.

Me: “Umm, is the dog all right?”

She turned and her eyes bulged as she recognised me. She turned 180° on the spot and practically jumped into the car and sped off.

Only then did I realise that she lied about the dog. I noticed the purchases she left behind and I took them back into the store. I explained what happened and my manager was a little more than miffed and agreed that if she didn’t return for the rest of her purchases by the next day, I could take them. She didn’t and I ended up with over £100 worth of food, which lasted me a good few weeks. To my knowledge, she hasn’t been seen at my store since.

I volunteer in a museum at a live animal exhibit. I’ll answer any questions that guests have about one of the animals, let them hold them, etc. We have a fish tank full of Blind Cave Tetras, which are fish that have no eyes as a result of living in dark caves.

A woman comes in and watches them, so I come over and talk about how they evolved over time to adapt to the dark. She looks up at the ceiling light.

Guest: “So, they evolved because it was dark?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Guest: “But if there are lights in here, why haven’t they evolved their eyes back by now?”

Me: *Looking at her a little incredulously* “Well, that’s because we just got these fish and they haven’t gotten used to it yet.”

I realize I was spreading misinformation, but I didn’t want to argue. At least she actually believed in evolution, though.

Sometimes you’re really left with no option but to just roll with the nonsense. Check out other employees who had to do the same here: 12 Hilarious Stories About Customers Who Were So Clueless Employees Just Went With It!

I’m working in the fish department of a pet store when a customer comes to me with a question.

Customer: “Can you make it so the bettas won’t fight each other? I want to keep a bunch of males in my two-gallon tank.”

I’m not sure how she expected me to do that, but she certainly wasn’t happy when I told her I couldn’t.

CONTENT WARNING: Pet Death

I’m the one who submitted Flee From The Fleas, and I have an update! Be warned: it’s not for those who care about animals.

I had already long since quit the community center where “Flee From The Fleas” took place when, by happenstance, I ran into a woman and struck up a conversation with her. It turns out that she was an employee there the year after I (and several other coworkers) left.

She told me that in mid-spring, since she started, she and two new hires noticed all kinds of bug bites across their legs and body. It took several weeks, but she caught a flea in action. [Coworker #2] then mentioned everything that I had been through the two previous years, and it was like a lightbulb for all the new staff.

They immediately went on a hunt and caught several more fleas each, and they presented them to [Maintenance Manager], who was still working there. He immediately denied that there was any flea issue and continued to dig his heels into denial for weeks.

During that time, the entire day staff nearly revolted as more of them were susceptible to flea bites. Yet [Maintenance Manager] refused to do anything about it and insisted that one of the staff was bringing in fleas from home — the very thing he accused me of, and I hadn’t stepped foot in the building since the day I quit. Of course, this led to a whole lot of bitterness from the new hires who didn’t like being told that they “just needed to clean their houses” and the flea problem at work would go away.

This went on for two months. During that time, two employees found fleas in their cars and/or homes. [New Hire #1] left work one day and was halfway across the parking lot when she discovered a flea attached to her face.

The woman I was talking to did all she could to gather further evidence and tracked down a likely suspect: one of our long-time regulars. During her conversation with the man, she discovered that he had a flea infestation from the fifteen cats he owned. 

During the course of the eight weeks when this whole situation unfolded, the woman learned that three or four of the man’s cats actually died from complications brought on by the fleas in his home. It also resulted in a call to CPS as there was a child living in that home. (Due to the private nature of CPS investigations, none of us knows what happened after the issue was reported.)

Yet despite these facts and the fact fleas had been an issue for three years in a row, [Maintenance Manager] continued to insist that it was a problem brought on by the staff themselves. He finally allowed the place to be fumigated simply because he was sick of hearing complaints — not that he ever believed the validity of the complaints. 

The woman I was talking to also quit shortly after this incident.

Related:
Flee From The Fleas