(I am waiting for the groomers at a local pet store to get my dog’s nails done. At the store when a pet pees or poops while on the floor, it is stated that it is the owner’s responsibility to clean up after the dog. While I’m waiting, a woman approaches.)

Woman: “Excuse me, but your dog is so cute! Can I pet her?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. She tends to get overexcited when meeting new people, and then she might pee, and I don’t want to clean up after her right now.”

Woman: “Oh, nonsense; that’s what the employees are for.”

(Before I could say anything else, she pet my dog, causing her to pee. The woman then left and I had to clean up after her. I had to leave to go to the cleanup station, and while doing that, a line formed — previously no one else had been there — causing me to lose my spot as next in line. Thanks, lady.)

(At our store, the policy is that when you do a return without a receipt, it gives you the lowest two-week sale price, because often everything’s on sale, and we almost always have some sort of coupon. It’s after Christmas when our returns are constant.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this toy, please.”

Me: “Sure thing. Was anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “No, he just didn’t need any more toys.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Did they give you a receipt?”

Customer: “No, but I’d still like to return it.”

Me: “Without a receipt, you would get back $37 on a merchandise credit.”

Customer: “No. My husband was just in here the other day, and it was full price for $45.”

Me: “Without a receipt, it would be the two-week lowest sale price. If this was bought for Christmas, most likely the person bought it on sale; plus, we had a coupon at that time, and most of our toys are usually about 50% off, so you are getting back a fair amount.”

Customer: “How do I know that they didn’t use a coupon or pay full price?”

Me: “You would have to ask them for the gift receipt or their actual receipt to get what they paid.”

Customer: “But that’s so tacky and rude. I’ll take the credit, but I’m not happy about it. I know you’re cheating me, and I’m contacting corporate.”

(Chances are, she wasn’t even going to get her kid anything with the credit, anyway, and would have bought stuff for herself. And what’s more tacky and rude is harassing an employee who has no control over the store policies.)

Related:
The Gift Receipt That Keeps On Giving

(One year for Christmas, I unwrap a single sock from my sister.)

Me: “Why did you give me one sock?”

Sister: *with a whimsical look on her face* “Dobby is free!”

(My first job is at a greeting card store famous, in part, for its yearly Christmas ornament collection. Not all the ornaments are expensive — the cheapest ones are about $10 at the time — but some of the larger, more elaborate ones or special editions can certainly get up there in price. One year at Christmas time, a man comes up to my register with several items, including two moderately-priced ornaments. After I ring his items up and I give him his total, he gets a sour look on his face.)

Customer: “Why is it so much?”

(I go back through his several items with him by price, including the ornaments.)

Me: “…and the ornaments for [price] and [price].”

Customer: “Don’t you have some kind of sale on them?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no. The ornaments don’t go on sale until after the holidays. Their prices are set for the season.”

Customer: “This is bulls***. They weren’t this much last year.”

(I’m unsure what he wants me to say; I can’t change the price.)

Me: “Well, the prices can change from year to year. Do you want me to take them off?”

Customer: “No. I’ll get them.” *takes his debit card out* “This is bulls***.”

(I ring him through in silence and he leaves. My assistant manager, having seen the tension from across the store, asks me about it. I relay the story and she tells me to shrug it off; he’s wrong, and he’s gone now. Hardly an hour later, the same customer comes back into the store and waits in line. Wouldn’t you know it, he comes to my register again. He takes the ornaments out of his bag and sets them on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to return these. I found them for a lower price somewhere else.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I process the transaction, and he leaves. My assistant manager comes up to me again and asks what happened.)

Me: “He returned them. Said he found them cheaper somewhere else.”

Assistant Manager: “Well, that’s interesting, because nobody else is licensed to sell them, and the company sets the price.”

(She walked away laughing. Guess he thought he’d one-upped us by thinking we’d missed out on a sale. I wish customers like him realized we really couldn’t care less, and certainly don’t take it personally, if they return things!)

(A commercial for Outlander comes on while my husband is watching football. Having enjoyed the story and historical fiction in general, I get distracted and, consequently, stop what I am saying mid-sentence.)

Husband: “I guess I need to get a shirt like that?”