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They Know The Score

, | Friendly | February 10, 2015

(I get on an elevator with two twenty-something men apparently discussing movie trailers.)

Man: “I mean, it looks really good. But stick a John Williams score behind it and you could say that about anything.”

Ripe For A Correction

, , , , , | Right | June 6, 2014

(I am working the salad bar at our buffet restaurant and overhear a conversation between a little girl and her mother.)

Girl: “Mom, can I have some of those pickles?”

Mom: “Those aren’t pickles. They are cucumbers. They are pickles before they turn ripe.”

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Provides A Pregnant Pause

, , , , , | Friendly | March 4, 2011

(I pass by two very young girls, roughly eight years old.)

Girl: *to her friend* “I just had my first child!”

(I stop in my tracks before realizing that the children in question are playing a demo of ‘The Game of Life’.)

The Fine Art Of Peevesdropping

, , , | Right | February 28, 2011

(My coworker is my friend, and we usually pick on each other in good fun.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Your shirt is all wrinkled! Maybe you should show up to work looking decent!”

Customer: *mistakenly overhearing* “Well, maybe you should shove it!”

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum

, , , , , | Right | January 3, 2011

(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1: “Oh, my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2: “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1: “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

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