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The Dolly Llama’s New Groove

, , , , | Right | March 15, 2010

(As I am organizing books on a display, I overhear this exchange.)

Customer #1: *pointing at a copy of “The Path to Tranquility”* “Ooh, look! That’s the Dalai Lama! I saw him once!”

Customer #2: “You saw him?”

Customer #1: “Yeah! He was in Florida doing a thing! I saw him out walking with all his little llamas.”

Customer #2: “Um, little LLAMAS?”

Customer #1: “Or dollies, whatever!”


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Taster’s Choice

, , , | Right | June 24, 2009

(I’m a customer at a store that engraves plaques, trophies, etc. and I witness this exchange.)

Employee: *to another customer* “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific plaque design.”

Employee: “All right, what kind of design are you looking for?”

Customer: “Uh… I don’t really remember what it looked like. But it tasted really bad.”

Employee: “…let’s just look over here, shall we?”

Mommy Sincerest

, , , , , , | Right | June 4, 2009

(I’m in a dressing room when I overhear a mother a few rooms down having this conversation with her two children she has brought in with her. She’s adding up aloud how much her items will cost.)

Mom: $57…$64…”

Child #1: “Uh-oh, Mommy! Daddy said your limit was 50 dollars! That is more than 50 dollars!”

Child #2: “Yeah, Daddy said you can’t spend any more than $50!”

Mom: “Well, you know what?! Since Daddy gets to go to work everyday and I’m stuck with you two, I can spend however much I want! So, you can tell Daddy that he can kiss Mommy’s fat a**! How about that?!”

Child #2: *giggles* “I can’t wait to tell Daddy that! You’re so funny, Mommy!”

It’s Best To Not Get Involved

, , , | Right | December 10, 2008

(I’m putting up price tags, and a woman is heard screaming on her phone off in the distance.)

Customer: “Why can’t I ever make you happy? Nothing I ever do for you is enough… WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? YOU’RE NEVER HAPPY!”

(She stops at the condoms section – the section I’m working on – and grabs a thirty-pack of condoms.)

Customer: “You know what? I’m getting condoms at [Store]. BE READY WHEN I GET HOME!” *storms off*


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Airheaded

, , , | Right | September 17, 2008

(A man and his girlfriend are standing towards the front of the line to board an airplane. I’m a passenger who overhears their conversation.)

Airline Employee: “We are now boarding numbers 1 through 30.”

(The man begins to walk away, but his girlfriend stays put.)

Girlfriend: “Where are you going?”

Man: “They called numbers 1 through 30.”

Girlfriend: “But my number is 6!”


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