My grandmother just turned ninety but lives alone and is in excellent health. After my grandfather died a few years ago, she joined an exercise group of other widows at the local senior center and they all got to be good friends and had excursions together. (This was before the health crisis.)

My brother and my two-year-old nephew stop by for a visit. [Nephew] finds Grandma’s phone — an actual corded landline — and manages to hit redial, calling her best friend. He babbles at her for a bit and then hangs the phone up and comes back into the other room where the adults are.

We find this out because the best friend calls Grandma back ten minutes later.

Best Friend: “[Grandma]! Are you okay?!”

Somewhere over the course of “conversation,” she became convinced that either she or my grandma was having a stroke because the words just didn’t make sense! It took a few minutes for my brother to put two and two (and two-year-old) together and figure out what had happened. Grandma now has a funny story about her precocious grandchild, and my nephew will be able to tell his grandkids someday that yes, one time he DID use a phone plugged into a wall.

This happens when I’m in the second grade back in the 1990s. We have a substitute teacher for the day. Normally, we have two classroom bathroom breaks, but if we are having an emergency our teacher lets us go. I’ve been starting to feel nauseous and go ask the sub to go to the bathroom.

Sub Teacher: “No, you can wait until the whole class goes.”

Me: “But Miss [Sub Teacher], I really don’t feel good.”

Sub Teacher: “I said wait. Now go sit down!”

I went back to my desk defeated and progressively feeling worse, laying my head on my desk. Eventually, we were called to get in line, but due to how bad I felt, I ended up at the end with only four stalls for a class of ten girls. As we waited, I felt it coming and started heaving in line. The sub quickly grabbed me, pushing me into one of the stalls, but it was too late. I puked all over the floor and on her shoes. I found that to be wonderful Karma.

I plan a trip to the local superstore. A friend who lives in an apartment has just discovered that her neighbor’s cockroach infestation has found the way into her apartment. She starts freaking out and asks me to pick up roach traps.

The cashier scans them with a look of disgust.

Cashier: “You know, the best way to not have cockroaches is to be clean. You can’t just drop food and not clean it up! That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but these are for a friend. A very clean friend. The roaches climbed through the wall from the next apartment.” 

Cashier: *Doubting me* “Oh, really? Why didn’t your ‘friend’ buy these herself?”

She actually makes air quotes when she says, “Friend.”

Me: “If you must know, she’s self-conscious and upset. I volunteered to get them so she wouldn’t have to deal with an ignorant, bigoted b**** like you.”

Her jaw was still dropped as I left the store.

I work at a well-known video game store. It’s the week leading up to Christmas, so we’re low on a lot of the high-demand items. Because I’ve been checking for most of these items at other stores over the past few days, I have a good idea of how hard everything is to find.

A middle-aged woman comes in, looking rushed.

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need a Switch and some games for it.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have any Switch consoles in stock. I know [Nearby Location] has a couple left, though.”

Customer: “I’m not driving out there! I came here for one!”

Me: “We don’t have any in the store, though. I can even call and have them hold one for you, if you’re worried about it being sold soon.”

Customer: “I refuse to drive all the way to [Nearby Location]! It’s too far!”

The location in question is about three minutes away. Even with traffic, it’d be no more than five minutes.

Me: “Ma’am, we do not have any Switch systems in the store. Not even used. I can sell you the games, but I have absolutely no system for you. I can call [Nearby Location] and hold one for you or I can have one ordered online and sent to your house, but there is no system in this store that you can purchase right now.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just shop at [Competitor]!”

I let her leave. The competitor in question was also sold out. The kicker? We got more Switch systems in the next day.

I work mornings in the produce section of a grocery store. It’s the day before Christmas, so it’s packed. We’re just trying to keep our high-demand products filled, which still is a hard task. A woman stops me while I’m putting bags of cranberries out.

Customer: “Excuse me, when do you guys close tonight?”

Me: “We close at six tonight, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, and when do you open tomorrow?”

Me: “We’re actually closed tomorrow—”

Customer: “What, why?! I might need something!”

Me: “It’s the only day out of the year we close. Corporate wants us to spend time with our families.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! You guys don’t have families! You work here!”

She storms off. I stand there for a minute, trying to process what she just said. Another customer who was nearby comes over.

Customer #2: “Wow, I didn’t think people like that actually existed. Are you okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve dealt with worse people. Anything I can help you find?”

Customer #2: “Oh, I’m quite all right! But is your manager around?”

The second customer told my department head what happened and complimented me on staying professional. Even he was shocked.