(I am holding my two-month-old, and she’s getting to the point where she’s “trying” to stand up… so I help her stand. I served in the Marine Corps.)
Me: “Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door.”
Two-Month-Old: *big, smiling grin*
Wife: *glares at me* “Can we let her be a princess for a bit before she becomes a Marine?”
(I am working at a copy and print store. One day, we have a particularly busy day. There are several long lines of people and unfortunately, people have been waiting for quite a while, even with several people manning the counters. A young woman finally gets to my counter.)
Customer: “I need something printed.”
Me: “Sure! What exactly is it?”
(She gives me the specifics of her order.)
Me: “Okay, no problem, but there may be a wait since we’re having such high volume. Something like that will probably take us 20 to 30 minutes.”
(She starts to get visibly upset and yells at me.)
Customer: “SOMETHING LIKE THIS SHOULDN’T TAKE THAT LONG!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but as you can see, we have quite a lot of people here and so, unfortunately, there is a small wait.”
(I’ll be happy to do it for you, but I can’t put off other people jobs that came ahead of you.)
Customer: “Well, I’m just going to take my business elsewhere and they’ll have it done quicker.” *turns to leave*
Me: “Uh… okay.”
(She turns back around.)
Customer: “You don’t have to be rude. You didn’t have to say, ‘Uh… okay.’ You should have said, ‘Thanks and have a nice day.’”
(I can sense that she’s about to walk back to me and begin yelling so I smile at her and say enthusiastically:)
Me: “Thanks and have a nice day!”
(Hopefully, I have effectively cut off what might have been a rant. I look at the next customer and again, enthusiastically say:)
Me: “Hi! How can I help you?!”
(The woman huffed and ran off, passing more people on her way out, all of whom were very nice when they got their turn.)
(I’m booking a flight for a friend to come to visit me in August 2019. There’s a convention that we both are interested in. This happens after I book the flight.)
Friend: “Uh… my last name is incorrect. It is missing an E at the end.”
Me: “Crap!”
(I immediately call the number it gives me to fix it with.)
Rep: “In order to fix everything, you will need to get the flight cancelled and rebooked.”
Me: “But I do not want to lose the tickets and wait for ten business days for a refund. It’s one letter… Let me talk to a supervisor, please. Nothing against you. I just want this fixed.”
Rep: “Please hold, and I will tell you now that they will give you the same advice.”
Me: “Not a problem.”
(I’m put on hold for twenty minutes. I finally get someone, but it sounds like the same person as before.)
Supervisor: “My agent told me you need a name changed, correct?”
Me: “No. Just adding one simple letter to the end.”
Supervisor: “Okay, well, as she told you, best to just cancel and get refunded.”
Me: “Can you call the airlines and talk to them?”
Supervisor: “I’ll see what I can do. Please hold.”
(More minutes of waiting only for her to return with this masterpiece:)
Supervisor: “They told me it will be almost a hundred dollars to add the E.”
Me: “Seriously?! One letter for a hundred dollars? Just leave it the way it is. I’ll figure it out later!”
(I hung up at the point and my friend decided to call. I just hope the name gets fixed!)
(I am lying on a massage table at a new luxury full-service spa. I had a few glasses of wine while relaxing in the lounge area.)
Masseuse: *manipulating neck* “How is that feeling?”
Me: *sighs* “Great!”
(A few minutes of quiet follows.)
Me: “Do you ever think to yourself, ‘I could totally snap this person’s neck and they would never see it coming.’?”
Masseuse: *awkward pause* “No.”
(Awkward silence.)
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(I work at a fairly well-known video game chain that often has deals for older pre-owned games, like four for $10 or four for $20, etc. Although I’ve seen several variations of this same conversation, this particular encounter takes place during a sale where games $4.99 and under are four for $10. At this point, I have already talked to these customers, informed them very clearly that all games under $5 are four for $10, and left them to do their shopping.)
Me: *as the customers are walking up to my register* “So, did y’all find everything all right this evening?”
Customer’s Wife: “We sure did! Someone gave our grandkids an Xbox as a gift, and we figured we might find them some games for when they come to visit. I can’t believe you have so many 360 games, and at such good prices, too!”
Me: *noticing the four games they’ve brought me are each $20 to $30* “Well, I’m glad you think so! We try to keep as good of a collection as we can in stock.”
(I ring up the games and give them their total, which is well into the $90 range. The husband nods and puts his card into the chip reader. The wife freaks out before he can enter his PIN.)
Customer’s Wife: “Wait, why is our total $90?!”
Me: *mentally hoping she just noticed our loyalty card pricing instead of the actual price* “Well, ma’am, this bottom price here is if y’all had our [loyalty program] card. Since you’ve told me you don’t, you’re getting this price.” *gestures to the top price*
Customer’s Wife: “Excuse me, but those games are four for $10.”
Me: “I’m sorry about the confusion, ma’am. The four for $10 is, unfortunately, only for games under $5.”
Customer’s Wife: “There was absolutely no sign saying that the games had to be under $5! This is ridiculous.”
(She storms back over to the section to “prove that the sign doesn’t say the price range.” I know very well that all the signs clearly say $4.99 and under, and it’s almost as big a piece of text as the “four for $10” portion.)
Customer: *shakes his head* “Sorry about that.”
Me: “It’s all right. We all read the signs wrong sometimes. I really do hope that your grandkids enjoy the games.”
Customer’s Wife: *from the game section* “See, it says right here—” *stops, presumably because she’s actually read the sign this time and has seen how clearly it is marked* “Hmph. Well.” *glares at me* “Maybe I did misread the sign.”
Me: “It happens to the best of us, ma’am. I hope y’all have a wonderful night.”
