They’re Just One Massage Away From A Meltdown

, , , | Right | October 13, 2018

(I work at a massage clinic and spa where we employ several massage therapists who all set their own schedules. Some work plenty of hours, and others work much more limited time slots, which is why we encourage their clients to book out as far out in advance as possible so they can stay with their preferred therapist. A married couple has just been in, both of them very loyal to one particular therapist who only works weekends and is incredibly popular. Most people, when hearing that [Therapist] is booked out solid for two months, are understandably disappointed but are willing to try a different therapist in the meantime. This customer is not one of those people.)

Me: “It looks like [Therapist] isn’t available until [date two months from now].”

Customer: “What? Are you kidding me? That’s unacceptable!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir. If you’d like, I can put you and your husband on our cancellation list in case anything opens up. In the meantime, we could schedule you with someone else—”

Customer: “No! I refuse to let anyone except [Therapist] touch me! It’s ridiculous that I have to book out that far and have your membership take money from me when I can’t get appointments!”

Husband: *trying to calm his spouse* “We usually book out a couple months out because he’s busy. We let it slip the last few times.”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter! It’s bad customer service! If I ran my business like this, I wouldn’t be in business right now!”

Me: “If you’d like, sir, we could waive your next few payments so you don’t have to worry about your membership fees—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Stop trying to make me happy! You won’t! This is terrible customer service!”

Me: “I do apologize for the inconvenience—”

Customer: *interrupting me YET AGAIN* “It isn’t your fault! But this awful service!”

Me: *internally wondering why he’s yelling at me if this isn’t my fault*

(The customer finally leaves to go smoke. His husband approaches the counter looking embarrassed by the whole incident — as I try not to burst into tears — and books a few appointments out before leaving promptly. My coworker has witnessed the whole thing.)

Coworker: “What does he mean by ‘bad customer service’?! If [Therapist] is booked up that far in advance, it means he’s really good!”

Strongly Massaging Their Need To Use The Restroom

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(I work at a locally-owned massage business as a receptionist. A fairly skinny woman comes in:)

Customer: “Hi, I want to make an appointment, but can I use your bathroom really quick? I’m pregnant and have to pee all the time.”

(I notice she’s not visibly pregnant, but brush it off.)

Me: “Okay, it’s upstairs, the first room on the right.”

Customer: “Thanks.”

(She looks around and says, fairly loudly:)

Customer: “WOW! THIS PLACE IS GORGEOUS!” *runs upstairs*

(She’s upstairs for a long time, when finally I hear the bathroom door shut. She doesn’t come down for a while. I hear her thumping around upstairs, and then finally she comes down, in a rush.)

Customer: “I JUST REMEMBERED; I HAVE TO MEET MY SISTER! I’LL BE BACK. BYE!” *rushes out the door*

(I knew she took something, but we don’t keep anything valuable upstairs. She took a metal bowl and a desk clock, but the weirdest part was that she crumpled up a newly-folded blanket and threw it in the corner. She never came back.)

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 8

, , , , , | Right | August 17, 2018

(I work as a manager. I am in on a weekend when one of the front desk employees approaches me to help them locate a gift card a customer has lost and is trying to locate prior to booking their service. The gift card is for our most expensive package. When a gift card is sold, it has a unique card number assigned to it and a sales transaction number. A manual log is kept as a backup to the computer log, and it is also used to track the names of who the gift is to and who it is from to assist in locating the gift card in the event it is lost.)

Me: *looking over the gift card register quickly* “I’m not seeing it in here. Get their name and number, as well as as much information as you can: when they think it was purchased, when they received it, and who it was from. Let them know I’ll look into it on Monday and call them back.”

(The employee does and leaves the names of who it was from and to, as well as the note that it was holiday gift and she believed it was purchased with a credit card. She also indicates the customer was rude to her on the phone. I go through all the entries in the physical gift registry, as well as all gift card sales run through the computer, checking the name on the credit card sales looking for either name. All the gift cards for our deluxe package are accounted for under other names in the registry. I call the customer back. After confirming I’ve reached the right person, the conversation is as follows:)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. This is [My Name] calling from [Spa]. I have a note here that you were attempting to track down a gift card you received this past Christmas. I wanted to let you know I’ve gone through all of our logs and I wasn’t able to locate it. Is it possible that the gift card was for something else?”

Customer: “No, it was for your [deluxe spa package]! Are you going to honor the gift card or not?”

(What I think is, “I can’t honor something that doesn’t look like it was purchased.” But what I say is:)

Me: “We would need the actual gift card number to be able to use it. Is it possible your husband purchased a gift card at a different spa? I’m asking because I even went back to October’s sales, and all of the gift cards we sold for our [deluxe spa package] are accounted for.”

Customer: “No, it was a gift card from there! They’ve gotten me [deluxe spa package] in the past! Look, do whatever you need to do to find it, because I can’t waste my time on the phone with you!”

(At this point I’m silent because I’ve done everything I can do to locate the card, and I’m starting to wonder if the customer is trying to pull something or if an employee really messed something up when ringing up a sale. I decide to check the PREVIOUS year’s records, in case she received it as a gift then and not the most recent holiday.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll look into this for you and give you a call back in an hour.”

(The customer agrees and I hang up. I pull up the sales report, going line by line and checking the written gift line to ensure each one is accounted for. They are. Partway through this, I get another call on my line from the customer.)

Customer: “I just remembered we celebrated Christmas late this year, so it might have been purchased in January.”

(I expand my search to February 14th, just to be safe. Nothing. I call the customer back.)

Me: “I wanted to let you know I’ve pulled all of our gift card sales from December to February 14th of this year and compared them to our gift log, and there is no gift card under your name. I also was unable to find any credit card sales under your husband’s name.” *hesitating as I don’t want to call the customer a liar* “Now, our gift cards don’t expire, so if it happens to turn up, we would be able to honor it then.”

Customer: *angry* “Never mind. Just cancel my appointment!”

Me: “Okay, I’ve taken your name out. You are all set. Again, I’m sorry we weren’t able to locate that for you.”

(I’ve now spent over an hour dealing with this issue, and am glad to be done with it, as the spa is busy. A half-hour later the phone rings again. This time it is the husband.)

Husband: “This is [Husband]. I’m calling to speak to a manager.”

Me: *trying desperately to sound friendly* “I’m one of the managers here, actually. How can I help you?”

Husband: “I got my wife a [price that is more than our deluxe spa package] gift card for Christmas, and she isn’t able to find it. She has been trying for the past few days to locate it, but the person she spoke to wasn’t able to help her, so I’m calling now because I spent a lot of money on that gift card!”

Me: “I understand. I’m actually the one your wife was speaking to. Perhaps you’d be able to provide additional information that would help me locate it. Are you sure it was for [deluxe spa package]?”

Husband: “Yes, it was.”

Me: “Okay, because you said you paid [more than the package was].”

Husband: “Yes, I think that was how much it was after taxes.”

Me: *thinking this sounds really fishy* “Our prices are tax-inclusive.”

Husband: “I might be remembering wrong.”

Me: “Okay… Do you remember how you paid for the gift card?”

Husband: “I paid with cash. There was a blonde woman working the desk, and it looked like she was taking down all the information.”

Me: “Do you remember when you purchased the gift card, or even what time of day you would have come in?”

Husband: “I think it was January or early February. It would have been in the early afternoon. I wanted to have time to make up the gift card.”

Me: “Wait. Make up a gift card? They should have given you one.”

Husband: “They did, but it was too formal, so I made one up to give to my wife.”

(So, even if this isn’t a scam, and the wife does have a gift card, then it would have NONE of the unique numbers needed to process the transaction.)

Me: “We really need the unique number that is on each gift card to be able to redeem it. I’ve actually already run a search to February 14th, but let me expand it to the end of that month, just in case.”

(I run the report for a third time, and find an entry in March that is missing the to and from information in the gift registry and was run as a cash sale through the computer. Our records further indicate it wasn’t used. The transaction is in the computer as being processed by one of our male employees, but a quick check of the time clock records indicate the woman who took over just didn’t log him out. The woman is the only blonde on staff.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ve got some good news. I was able to locate a gift card that matches the information you provided, except I have a sales date of March. Is it possible you purchased it that late?”

Husband: “Wow, March. Yes, I guess it’s possible, but I didn’t think it was that late.”

(I provided him with the gift card number and ended the call politely as I was able. They were either scammers — I was so ready to wash my hands of them I didn’t care — or the most disorganized people I’ve had to deal with thus far.)

Related:
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 7
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 6
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 5

A Gratuitous Circuitous Route To Gratuity

, , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(The gift certificates sold at our establishment can be purchased for a specific spa service or package, but can also be used as dollar value in case the recipient does not want to redeem the service or package picked out for them by the purchaser.)

Customer: “I would like to use this gift certificate to pay for my service.”

Me: “Certainly. You are aware that by using this as your method of payment, the gift certificate is no longer redeemable for the full package of services that was picked out when it was purchased?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, you have a $60 balance remaining on your gift certificate for you to use next time.”

Customer: “Is there gratuity included on there?”

Me: “There is a remaining balance you are welcome to use towards gratuity.”

Customer: “No. Is there gratuity?”

Me: “You opted to use the gift certificate for a different service than was originally purchased, that was less money. You have a remaining balance on your gift certificate you can apply towards gratuity.”

Customer: “IS. THERE. GRATUITY. ON. THE. CARD?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is equivalent to someone picking you out a gift certificate for a laptop and you choosing to buy a sweater instead, but then inquiring if the mouse comes with the sweater.”

Customer: “ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS IF THERE IS GRATUITY ON MY GIFT CERTIFICATE!”

Me: *long pause* “No.”

Customer: “Well, it took you a while, but it looks like you finally got me my answer.”

Only Mostly Dead

, , , , , , | Working | July 27, 2018

(This story happened to my mom a few years ago. She and my dad fly down to California to surprise my dad’s older sister for her birthday. My mom and my dad’s two sisters go to a spa the next day as a birthday present for my aunt. My mom is extremely — deathly — allergic to strawberries. At the spa, they have a juice/smoothie/drink bar and are ordering some items. The following occurs.)

Aunt #1: “Can I have a strawberry margarita, please?”

Aunt #2: “Oh, yes, I’ll have the same, thanks.”

Mom: “I’ll have a peach daiquiri, please. And I just need to tell you that I have a very severe strawberry allergy.”

Counter Clerk: “Okay, no problem.”

(She makes the two margaritas, pouring the contents from a blender into the two glasses for my aunts. Then, she proceeds to pour the ingredients for my mom’s drink into the same blender.)

Mom: “Oh, I’m sorry, but I can’t have that if you use the same blender. As I said, I have a very severe allergy. It’s life-threatening.”

Counter Clerk: “Really? There’s only a little bit in there.”

Mom: “And I’ll only be a little bit dead if I drink any of that.”

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