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11 Maddening Stories About Massages!

| Right | July 19, 2021

Dear readers,

We’re back at it again with another weird “holiday”. This week, it’s Everybody Deserves A Massage Week! No, we’re not making that up; in fact, this week was established by the Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals, the largest massage therapy membership organization in the USA, twenty-six years ago!

A massage is usually a soothing experience that leaves you feeling loose and relaxed and pampered. But we actually take issue with the name of this holiday; anyone who’s worked with any kind of customer knows that everyone certainly does not deserve a massage. To prove our point, here are 11 stories from our archives about massages that were way more stressful than anyone expected!


A Touch Too Much Inappropriate Behavior – I’d stick a picture of her on the wall of shame. Gross.

We’ll Stretch Your Muscles And Offend You At The Same Time – Hits from the comments: “Send him to a misogynistic masochistic massagenist; that should fix him right up.”

Not Even Going To Try To Massage The Truth – This kind of person rubs me the wrong way.

They’re Just One Massage Away From A Meltdown – “Stop trying to make me happy!” Okay. In that case, get out.

Neither Gratis Nor Grateful – If this is too complicated for you, I don’t know what to tell you.

Scalp First, Ask Questions Later – I don’t know what the legal definition of assault is, but…

They’re Massaging The Truth – Hits from the comments: “These are people that don’t realize how easily I could push a massage table over if I wanted to.”

They Need A Brain Massage – Just because you misunderstood, that doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk!

Massaging The Truth – Note to self: never arm wrestle with a massage therapist.

This Is Neck-Breaking Work – Cool. Now that’s all I’ll think about next time I get a massage.

Massaging The Truth To Make Them Happy – Maybe you should stay home and let your cat walk on you or something.


We hope you enjoyed this Massage-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

10 Relatable Stories About Housework And How To Avoid It


10 Customers Who Lied About Their Health To Get Ahead

Question of the Week

Has a customer ever tried to cross you and lived to regret it? What happened?

I have a story to share!