Customer: *ordering stuffing*” I want that container. That one in the middle, yep.”
Me: “Do you want this whole thing full?”
Customer: “Oh, god, no. I want a little more than a half… but a little less than a third. Not too much.”
(Note: We are two blocks away from the beach.)
Customer: “Your lanes are crooked.”
Me: “Sir, I assure you they are not crooked; we have lane inspectors that come in every eight weeks and check for that kind of thing.”
Customer: “No! MY LANE IS CROOKED! Every time I bowl, the ball goes to the right!”
Me: *glancing at the clock* “Well, you know, it’s about 1:30. The tide is coming in.”
Customer: “That has an effect on it?”
Me: “Oh, yeah. I mean, we’re only a few blocks from the beach…”
Customer: “Huh… well, I guess I’ll try to bowl more towards the left, then…”
(A customer has purchased a few items and is double-checking her receipt after the transaction went through. She has a membership card at the store, so she got a 10% discount.)
Customer: “So I got my discount on this?”
Me: “Yep. See there on each item, it says ‘Member 10%,’ and it shows what you saved.”
Customer: “Wait… is it 10% off each item, or 10% off the total?”
Me: “10% off the total. Well, it works out the same either way.”
Customer: “I thought it was supposed to be 10% off each item. I should be getting a bigger discount on the total.”
Me: “No, you got your discount! 10% off each item adds up to the same amount as 10% off the total.”
Customer: “No, I got 10% off the first item. Then 10% off the second item, so that’s 20%. And 10% off the third item; that’s 30%!”
Me: *pause* “No, that’s… that’s not how percentages work… I can show you on a calculator; it works out the same. You are getting the right discount.”
Customer: “No, it’s all right. But I know I won’t be getting this card again. I was told I was going to be getting a 10% discount on each item, and this really isn’t fair.”
(Maybe I should have mentioned to her that I’m a math major…)
Me: “Good evening! You have reached [Campground]. How can I help?”
Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but will I need my parka? I hear it’s only 28 degrees up there today.”
Me: “I wouldn’t imagine so. It’s hot and sunny outside. Everyone here is wearing shorts and t-shirts.”
Customer: “Are you crazy?! It’s 28 degrees!”
Me: “Sir, that’s in degrees Celsius.”
Customer: “What do you mean Celsius? Is that like the number on the thermometer? Are your thermometers smaller in Canada? Is that why it’s 28?”
Me: *gives up* “Yes. Have a great night.”
This story is part of the fourth Geography roundup!
Read the next Geography roundup story!
Read the fourth Geography roundup!
(I work at a bulk food store, where prices are given on the bins for 100 grams, and 1 pound of the product.)
Customer: “Why isn’t this weighing in pounds? The sign had it in pounds!”
Me: “The signs have it in both pounds and grams, and since Canada uses the metric system, we weigh according to kilograms.”
Customer: “Kilograms are not grams!”
Me: “Grams go into kilograms, sir.”
Customer: “No, they don’t! I am the customer, and I want this scale to weigh in pounds!”
(Note that this is a scale only weighs in kilograms, with ‘kg’ painted on permanently next to the display.)
Me: “That’s impossible, sir.”
Customer: “No, it’s not; it’s what I want. I work with computers. I can change this.”
Me: “You do that…”
This story is part of our Metric System roundup!
