(I’m a call center rep at a company that processes credit cards for business owners. For some background, anyone who uses an online gateway or software rather than a physical terminal would need to log in; we also have a free site where merchants can see daily transactions and bank deposits.)

Me: “Thanks for calling Merchant Services. I’m [My Name]. Can I have your account number?”

Caller: “I don’t know it. They told me to call this number because I can’t log in to the website.”

Me: “Okay, what website?”

Caller: “I don’t know! The website for my merchant account!”

Me: “Okay, your gateway? [Site #1]? [Site #2]?”

Caller: “I don’t know, the website!”

Me: “What website, sir?”

Caller: “They told me to call this number because I can’t log in!”

Me: “What are you trying to log into sir? We have a lot of websites…”

Caller: “I don’t know, the site!”

Me: “Okay, what did you type in the address bar?”

Caller: “This is going nowhere.” *hangs up*

(I work part-time for a ride-sharing company. I get a call to pick up a woman in an area I am unfamiliar with. It takes me an extra few minutes to find the location as the GPS is unclear; however, I eventually find the location: a movie theater with a roundabout in front of it. The area is filled with people and cars and I don’t see anyone who looks like a potential rider, so I pull off to the side of the road to call the customer.)

Me: “Hello, this is your driver and I’m trying to find you. Are you in front of the movie theater?”

Customer: “How can you not see me? I’m wearing a red jacket.”

(I look around for a female with a red jacket and see no one.)

Me: “I don’t see anyone matching that description.”

(I describe my car to her and she said she sees me but I still cannot see her. At this moment, a traffic cop indicates to me that I cannot stay where I am and that I have to proceed around the roundabout.)

Me: “Ma’am, the traffic cop is telling me to go around the circle, so just wait for me on the other side.”

(I hang up with her and start to go around the circle. Due to congestion, the traffic is slow around the circle. I see a woman and two kids eyeing me. Note that this woman is NOT wearing a red jacket or anything else red, but I see that she is watching me so I figure this is most likely the rider. I exit the roundabout and pull over to the side of the road. The woman opens my door.)

Customer: “You just pulled away when I tried to get into your car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you try to get in. Besides, I had to get out of the roundabout so I wouldn’t block traffic.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel safe, so I’m going to call someone else!” *slams door*

Me: *thinking* “You shouldn’t feel safe approaching a moving vehicle in the middle of an intersection!”

(I cancelled the ride, but unfortunately, because I indicated that the “rider cancelled” instead of waiting for her to cancel it herself, I didn’t get paid. A lesson for next time, though.)

(I work at a popular pizza place answering phones and managing the till. Late one Saturday night, a homeless man approaches our door and asks if we have any extra pizzas, which we don’t at the time. He says thanks and leaves. Then this happens:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Pickup. I’d like to get a Works Pizza [our “everything” pizza] and a bottle of Sprite. I have a coupon for that.”

(I am aware of all our coupons and specials and we are currently not running any with this combination.)

Me: “Sir, what is the expiration date on that coupon?”

Customer: “It doesn’t have an expiration date.”

Me: “Sir, all our coupons have expiration dates; plus, we don’t even sell that brand of soda. Are you sure that the coupon is for [Pizza Place]?”

Customer: “Yes, it is, and you have to give it to me for that price!”

Me: “May I place you on hold while I ask my manager?”

(I put him on hold and ask the manager if he knows anything about this deal. He says he’s never heard of it, but just to put the order through and we’ll deal with it when the customer comes in. I tell the customer this and we make the order for him. When he comes in:)

Customer: “I talked to you on the phone about this coupon I have for your Works Pizza and a soda.”

(He shows me the coupon and I see that it is for our restaurant chain; however, not only does it advertise a soda brand that we don’t carry, but also it is not a coupon at all, just an advertisement for a special with no expiration date and no coupon code. The manager comes over to take a look.)

Manager: “Sorry, sir, but this is not a coupon. For all I know, this could be years old. I’ve worked here for several years and we’ve never carried this soda brand.”

(The manager scrolls through our list of specials and coupons to see if there’s something similar that he can apply to the man’s order. All the while, the man is getting increasingly irate.)

Customer: “You advertised that price and you have to honor it. The customer is always right! You have to give me the special! I have a coupon!”

Manager: “Sir, you don’t have a coupon; you have an advertisement for a special that is most likely years old or from another franchise because we have never carried this brand of soda. There’s nothing else I can do for you.”

(The manager probably could have given him some kind of discount, but the man has been screaming, ranting, and raving about not getting a few dollars off his pizza.)

Manager: “[My Name], go in the back and start counting your till.”

(I do this, but even in the back I can still hear this man shouting.)

Customer: “I know lots of people! You’ll go out of business because I’ll tell everybody I know about your bad service! You’ve just lost hundreds of customers, pal!”

Manager: “Sir, you can either pay full price for your pizza and get a [Brand] soda from the cooler or you can leave.”

(The man rants some more about us not honoring his “coupon” and losing customers, and then finally leaves without his pizza. My manager comes back to where I am counting my till, visibly shaken.)

Manager: “That guy was crazy. I didn’t think he would leave.”

(He looks over at the extra pizza sitting on the warmer.)

Manager: “[My Name], remember that homeless guy that was in here just before that man came in? Take that pizza outside and see if he’s still there and if he wants it.”

(I took the pizza outside and found the homeless man. He was so grateful to have a fresh, large pizza!)

(I work as a supervisor at a movie theater, and one night when closing, a new coworker lets in a customer that was banging on the doors after they were locked. We typically let people in if they already have their ticket, but this man does not.)

Coworker: “Do you have your ticket?”

Customer: “What? No. I want to buy one.”

Coworker: “Um, well, we’re closed and all of the last movies already started.”

Customer: “I’m here, so I want a ticket.”

Coworker: “We can’t really do that, I’m sorry.”

(The customer pushes through the doors and starts causing a scene while the employees are trying to clean, getting irate that he isn’t allowed a ticket after closing. [Coworker] doesn’t know what to do, and I come over to see if I can calm him down.)

Me: “All right, sir, we have [Horror Movie] available that started less than ten minutes ago, and I can sell you a ticket but only if you aren’t paying with cash since we’ve pulled our registers.”

Customer: “Okay, let me get two tickets to that.”

(I ring him up and hand him the tickets, and he goes over to concessions. All the lights are off at that point, and the teenagers working there are putting things away and throwing out popcorn.)

Customer: “Can I get a large popcorn and a soda?”

Teen Coworker: “Sorry, everything’s off or thrown away.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Can you pop some more for me?”

Coworker: “We’re closed.”

(The concessionists are awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact and close as fast as possible. I’m watching from across the lobby when the guy steps away from the counter, peeks into the trash can next to it, and grabs a popcorn bucket and cup before reaching over the concessions counter to scoop out popcorn that was already thrown into the trash by a coworker.)

Coworker: *stunned silence*

(The guy proceeded to fill up his cup at the soda fountain and open the main doors for a heavily pregnant woman before giving her the popcorn and soda. They walked to their theater happy as can be and I couldn’t for the life of me stop them. That guy sure knows how to treat a lady right.)

(It’s a humdrum day at the information desk. No one’s bothered to ask me anything so far, and I’m wondering what to do when my shift is finished. Suddenly, I hear this come from the computer area.)

Customer: “F***!”

(I walk over to the person who cussed and try to politely get his attention.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m afraid you can’t talk like that in the library. It’s against the rules.”

(His reaction? The guy stands straight up, gets exactly two inches from my face — to the point where our noses almost touch — and growls.)

Customer: “I’m the son of a black panther, you f****** honky! I’ve been shot twice, stabbed twice, and I’ll be more than happy to do the same to you if you don’t f*** off and leave me alone! We cool, white boy?!”

Me: *not intimidated in the least* “Sir, regardless, if you continue to talk like that, there will be consequences.”

Customer: “Yeah, we cool. F*** off.” *sits back down*

(Naturally, this is the part where I sneak off where he can’t hear me and call 911. When the officers arrive — they send four, since he made a credible death threat — this is what happens next:)

Officer: “Sir, is it true that you threatened to kill this man?”

Customer: “Aww, c’mon, man! I’m not Donald Trump!”

(The kicker? Despite being banned for a year, he tried to come back no more than a week later! I saw him on the children’s floor, no less! When the cops escorted him out, again, he gave the same excuse/alibi.)