My mother-in-law is a bit of an odd duck.

Mother-In-Law: “[My Name], would you like some fresh raspberries? We grew them in our garden.”

Me: “Ooh, yes, please! I love raspberries.”

Mother-In-Law: “Here you go.”

She passes me a Tupperware container. I open it and see cauliflower.

Me: “Um, [Mother-In-Law], this is the wrong one.”

Mother-In-Law: “No, it’s the right one. The raspberries are on the bottom. Just dig for them.”

Me: “…”

In case you’re wondering, cauliflower and raspberries do NOT mix. The berries had a weird taste.

My daughter is driving to university one day after a heavy snowfall. There are patches of ice everywhere, and because of this, she is driving more slowly than usual. She gets to a red light with another vehicle stopped in front of her. She carefully applies the brakes and comes to a complete halt with no problems, leaving the recommended distance between her and the car in front.

That’s when she glances into her rearview mirror and realizes with alarm that the car behind her is moving MUCH too fast for conditions.

Daughter: “Oh, no! I don’t think he’s going to be able to stop in time.”

Sure enough, two seconds later, BAM! The car hits her so hard that she hits the car in front of her. That driver gets out, red-faced with anger.

Driver #1: “WHAT THE H*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?”

Daughter: “I’m very sorry, but this wasn’t my fault. The driver behind me—”

Driver #1: “YOU SHOULD HAVE SLOWED DOWN! IT’S TOO ICY OUT HERE TO BE DRIVING LIKE A MANIAC!”

Daughter: “I did slow down! In fact, I was already stopped when the guy behind me hit me!”

By this point, the driver behind her has gotten out, as well.

Driver #2: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize how slippery it was. This was all my fault.”

Driver #1: “No, it wasn’t. It was her fault.”

The driver points to some textbooks in my daughter’s car.

Driver #1: “See? College type. Guess they teach you everything in university except how to drive properly, huh?”

Daughter: *Holding her temper* “Can we exchange information now, please?”

I don’t remember who was considered responsible for what in the end — I really hope my daughter wasn’t, because she did everything right — but who knows.

When I am twenty-one or so, I am still living with my parents. Then, I find an apartment. My boyfriend and his friends agree to move some of my stuff from my parents’ house over to my new place, including my computer and a small TV. They do so during the day while my parents are at work. My parents are fully aware of this; in fact, they loan my boyfriend a house key.

When my folks get home, their neighbour comes over, extremely excited.

Neighbour: “You were robbed today!”

Mum: “What?!”

Neighbour: “I saw the whole thing! Several young men broke into your place and took a bunch of valuables, including a computer and a TV! I saw them carry everything out to their cars and drive away.”

Mum: *Catching on* “Oh, my. That’s bad. Did you call the police?”

Neighbour: “Um, no.”

Mum: “Did you get their license plates?”

Neighbour: “No.”

Mum: “How about their cars? Did you notice what kind they drive?”

Neighbour: “No.”

Mum: “Do you think you could describe the men?”

Neighbour: “They were young… That’s all I remember.”

Mum: *Laughing* “I’m sorry, I can’t keep doing this. It’s okay. Those guys were [My Name]’s boyfriend and friends, and they’re just helping her move some of her things to her new apartment.”

Neighbour: “You were just messing with me? That’s not nice!”

Mum: “You’re the one who watched our house apparently being robbed and didn’t do anything about it!”

When my husband and I have our first daughter, she occasionally likes to suck on a soother.  

Mother-In-Law: “I don’t like those things.”

Me: “I’m not a huge fan myself, but they comfort [Daughter].”

Mother-In-Law: “None of my kids ever had those.”

That’s when one of her daughters pipes up.

Sister-In-Law: “That’s absolutely true, [My Name].”

My mother-in-law looks smug.

Sister-In-Law: “Of course, I did suck my thumb until I was seven.”

My mother-in-law scowled and changed the subject.

This story is part of our Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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I work at a mid-high-end clothing store. Tops start from normally around $40. One day, we have a flash sale: one-day-only, tops for $9.99. The following happens a day later. A customer approaches and places down a small pile of tops on sale for buy-one-get-one-half-off.

Me: “All right, your total for today is $[total].” 

Customer: “Wait, I thought these were $9.99 each?”

Me: “Oh? Who told you that?”

We have to ask in case an employee forgot the sale was a one-day-only sale and promoted it to a customer.

Customer: “My friend. She was here yesterday and told me she got four tops for $9.99 each!”

Me: “Sorry! That was a one-day-only sale! It was yesterday only; today these tops are buy-one-get-one-half-off.”

Customer: “I was told they were $9.99.”

Me: “Yes, yesterday. Today they have changed. Your total is $[total].”

Customer: “I was told these tops were $9.99 each.”

I am getting irritated at her refusal to understand the concept of a one-day sale.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, yesterday. Not today.”

Customer: “My friend told me they were $9.99 each!”

Me: “Does your friend work for [Company]?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Exactly. They were mistaken. It was a one-day-only sale; you missed it. I cannot give the sale to you today. It was a flash sale; your friend must have missed the part where we said one-day-only. Now, these tops are buy-one-get-one-half-off, so your total is $[total].”

Customer: “I was told they were $9.99! I will not take them for more!”

I am inwardly wanting to throttle this woman who has caused a line up as I am the only one on the registers.

Me: “You missed the sale. It was yesterday only. I am sorry, but I cannot give you them for $9.99 just because your friend said so!”

Customer: “I WAS TOLD THEY WERE $9.99!”

My manager, who came by a few moments ago and witnessed this lady not understanding or budging, tells me to just give them to her for $9.99.

Me: “All right, ma’am, we will honor this for you today, but in future, please pay attention to the dates of the sale.”

Customer: “I told you they were $9.99!”

I hate customers that think because they make a stink they will get their way! I wish we could have turned her away because the smirk she gave me as she paid was awful!

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