Because of my history of mental health problems, I’m on disability benefits. I work part-time for a local mental health charity, usually about twelve hours a week. I get a text message from the Department of Work and Pensions telling me I have a jobseeker’s appointment scheduled and must attend. I talk to the online Universal Credit Journal to get clarification since this shouldn’t be necessary.

Me: “I got a text saying I have an appointment on [date]. I am not available that day and am not supposed to need appointments as I have limited capacity to work.”

Employee: “Failure to attend can cause a delay or suspension to your benefits.”

Me: “I cannot attend that date; you’ll have to reschedule. Also, I would prefer a telephone appointment.”

Days go past with no further replies, and the appointment is only a few days away. Several years earlier, I was too ill to attend an appointment and the DWP cut off my benefits. I eventually won a tribunal appeal and had my benefits reinstated, but it was a lot of stress and took over two years before I received the back pay owed. Obviously, I’m not keen to go through that again.

Me: “Please note that I have given plenty of advance notice that I cannot attend on [date]. This is not a failure to attend. I am not a jobseeker. I am not seeking employment. I have been told by doctors and psychiatrists not to seek further or alternative employment. I am able to work part-time at [Local Charity] as they specialise in working with those suffering from mental health issues and are uniquely able to support an employee who does. This has all been made clear to the DWP multiple times. Given that the DWP has been responsible for several of my mental health problems in the last fifteen to twenty years, I would prefer not to visit the job centre as it is highly likely to result in an anxiety attack. We are also in the middle of an extremely serious health crisis, in case you weren’t aware. Please acknowledge receipt and understanding of this message, and if an interview is needed, contact me to arrange a telephone appointment.”

I eventually get a reply saying simply:

Employee: “I will phone you on [alternative date].”

I have a lot of stress and anxiety about this. Finally, the appointment comes.

Employee: “Hi. We just wanted to check you were all right since we haven’t had any recent contact. That’s all, bye.”

All that stress and messing about and making me ill just to check if I’m okay? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Department of Wankers and Pillocks.

I work for a call center of a major grocery chain. I am trained to take calls relating to online ordering and technical issues with the apps and website. Due to a decline of a certain health concern in the country, those calls are dropping off as people return to in-store. So, as retail typically does, I’m thrown into the store-related calls with no training other than what my trainer from the very beginning said several months ago:

Trainer: “This is for in-store; you won’t need to worry about this.”

One day, I get a call from a woman.

Me: “This is customer support. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Woman: *Already upset but keeping an even tone* “I want to make a complaint about my store. Can I do that here?”

Me: “Certainly. May I get some information from you so I can correctly process your complaint?” *Gets the information* “And what was the issue with your store?”

Woman: *Her tone rising slowly* “They never have what I want I stock! I check on the website before leaving my house, and when I get to the store, it’s never there! I make sure to check online before I leave the house so I don’t waste my time!”

Me: “I really do apologize for the frustration, ma’am, and I definitely will forward your complaint. Can I confirm a few things to make sure that you are getting the most updated information?”

Woman: “Fine, but I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything!”

I ask her to pull up the website and find out that the store she’s looking at is the default location that comes up the first time loading the site up… halfway across the country.

Me: “I do believe I have found the issue. You are looking at the store in [West Coast Location] when you need to change it to [Local Store]. I can walk you through the process. I know it can be confusing, and you are not the first person to make this mistake.”

Woman: *Voice still rising* “I did not make a mistake! Your website is wrong! I use it exactly as it should! It shouldn’t make a difference!”

Me: “I can assure you that it does make a difference. Different parts of the country have a need for different items, and because of that, they would have variations in availability.”

Woman: *Now screaming* “No! Listen to me! I AM DOING IT RIGHT! YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!”

I start to pull up the abusive customer script we need to use. In training, I was told that if at any point I felt that I was being abused, I could use it. Due to a traumatic past, yelling of any kind can set me off, but I have a one-chance point where I’ll continue as if that didn’t happen in case it was just a reaction — some customers do get better after the initial yell without me reading the script. So, I continue on.

Me: “Again, I apologize for the confusion, ma’am. Once you update your store, you’ll be able to see—”

Woman: “YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME! YOUR SITE IS MESSED UP! I DO IT RIGHT! I HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT RIGHT! WHAT THE H*** DO YOU THINK I’M DOING WRONG?!”

I take a deep breath while my hands shake. Then, I read off the script as that one chance has come and passed.

Me: “I understand you’re frustrated, and I want to assist you to the best of my ability. However, if you continue to speak to me in this manner, I’ll have to terminate the call.”

Woman: *Icily* “Well, good, because I don’t want to speak to you anymore. Get me your manager.”

Those are the magic words. I ask her to please hold, dial the supervisor line, and finish up my notes as there’s a wait for a couple of minutes. The supervisor I get is known for being wishy-washy about having your side, but I explain to her what happened, including needing to use the script and the customer’s response to it.

Supervisor: “And did she actually start cursing you out?”

Me: “Well, no, but she was screaming at me.”

Supervisor: “Screaming is not classified as abuse for the script. They have to be continuously cursing at you.”

I’m upset but I don’t have the energy to pick a fight.

Me: “That’s not how it was described to me, but I’ll know for the future.”

I sent the call over, and then I needed to take an extended break because I was so annoyed. I’d been screamed at all day and was sick of it.

I only lasted about two more weeks before I ended up quitting because of the constant “abuse” and nothing being done about it. Now I have a job that’s not customer-facing and I love it so much more.

I am a corporate lawyer and used to work for franchisers. Several years ago, one of my client’s franchisees wanted to sell his location and focus on their other two stores, all under the same brand. My client decided to buy the store directly instead of vetting another franchisee to run it. The relationship between my client and that franchisee was great and they kept doing business together for years to come.

As part of the buying process, due diligence had to be made — basically figuring out how much the company was worth, what debts it had, and things like that. My part was to analyze the contracts the company had signed and what lawsuits were filed by/against the company. If they were being sued for 200k, we had to take that into consideration. Usually, the money would be put on hold and released when the lawsuit ended or used to pay it off.

The commercial part of it went extremely well. Everyone knew we were on the same side and were helpful and friendly. When I called their lawyer for the first time, however…

Lawyer: “Hello, [My Name], how are we going to argue today? What will we disagree about today?”

Me: “Hello… We won’t argue about anything. We are going to work together to make this happen the best way possible.”

Lawyer: “I am kidding! I am just joking around. So, what do you need?”

Me: “I need a list of every lawsuit filed against the company or by the company that hasn’t been archived yet. It needs to include [basic information] as the standard in due diligence like this. We will also need it to be signed by you or [Franchisee].”

Lawyer: “Wow, wow, wow! How am I going to remember all that? I also don’t have a list of every lawsuit the company is involved in, and it might take a while to figure it out!”

Me: “I will be sending you all the information needed by email. But what do you mean, you don’t have a list of the lawsuits your client is involved in? Shouldn’t you be keeping track of them regardless of this due diligence?”

Lawyer: “Oh, you know how it is. We just deal with it when it’s time to deal with it.”

Me: “Either way, we need this information, and I was told you were informed of the negotiations a few months ago, so I am sure it won’t take too long for you to compile it. It was nice talking to you. Expect my email in the next few minutes! If you have any questions or issues with it, let me know and we can figure it out.”

The way he spoke was like a used car salesman. I sent him the email and waited. It was the beginning of a week and the deadline was the next Friday. Absolutely nothing was sent. I sent another email, this time copying his boss, asking for an update.

He answered pretending he had already sent it but I somehow lost it. Instead of the list I needed, he wrote in the body of the email some of the information and nothing else. All the lawsuits he included were, as far as I could tell, small claims or lawsuits that the company had started, while I knew there was at least a big one that was filed against them.

I took a deep breath, made an Excel sheet that he could fill, and sent it back to him saying something like:

Me: “As we talked about previously, we need a signed list with [basic information]. To make it easier for you, I am attaching an Excel sheet for you to fill out. Make sure all the information is current and complete, print it, sign it, and send it back. We need this by Monday, as the due date was supposed to be today.”

Monday came. Nothing. Tuesday came. My client and I decided to ignore the lawyer and figure out every lawsuit they were involved in by ourselves. It took way longer to do so, and since they were on good terms with the franchisee, they thought it wasn’t necessary. We emailed the franchisee and informed them that we would need to halt the purchase of the store until we could properly assess the risk that the lawsuits might bring us. When the franchisee emailed us back surprised by it, we sent them the chain of emails and they told us they understood. 

Tuesday afternoon came, and the lawyer sent me an email with the spreadsheet filled but not printed nor signed. Nothing was said in the body of the email. I thanked him and said we would still be checking the lawsuits ourselves and, although I am sure he would be sending the list printed and signed soon, he didn’t need to bother about it any longer.

We did our own check and, big surprise, the lawyer had missed some deadlines and made it so that lawsuits that were basically won had defaulted against the franchisee, making them lose a lot of money. He lost his job and was reported to the bar association.

I have a favorite breakfast bakery and cafe near my office. When I’m asked to get breakfast for a work event, they’re the first ones I think of. I go online and place the order, but the earliest time they have available is 8:30; 8:00 would be perfect for me. I go ahead and place the order anyway because I want to get breakfast from them.

As soon as they open that morning, I give them a call and they tell me that, unfortunately, they can’t have my order ready early. No problem. I shift some things around so I can make it work.

I get to the cafe at 8:35 and there’s a line to the door. The guy behind the counter is not in a hurry; of the people in line in front of me, I see five of them leave because it’s taking too long. I finally get to the front of the line at 8:45 and tell them I’m picking up an order… and they tell me they haven’t even started putting it together yet.

It takes until 8:55 — a full ten minutes later and twenty-five minutes after my pick-up time — for everything to be packed and ready. I race back to the office for our 9:00 start time and everyone barely gets a chance to grab something to eat before the meeting kicks off.

I love that cafe and will go there on my own again — as long as I have fifteen minutes to spare, apparently! — but I won’t be ordering their takeaway breakfast again!

Every three months, I have to see my doctor to get medication refilled or have blood work done. For one of my recent appointments, I got a call the day before confirming my appointment for 8:30 am the next day. Turns out, the receptionist screwed up.

Me: “Hi. I have an appointment for [My Name] at 8:30?”

The receptionist looked up my name.

Receptionist: “Sorry, I don’t see you. Are you sure it’s today?”

Me: “At all? I’m almost 100% positive it’s today.”

Receptionist: “Nope, it says here that it’s for tomorrow at 8:00 am.”

Me: *Confused and slightly irritated* “You called to confirm the date yesterday.”

Receptionist: “Look, [Doctor] doesn’t work on Mondays. I can’t help.” *Continues typing* “Come back tomorrow.”

Me: *Thinking* “You scheduled an appointment for me on a day that my doctor never works, rescheduled it, didn’t bother to inform me, confirmed the night before that it’s today, and think any of that makes sense?”