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Having A Better Hair-Day

, , , , | Hopeless | March 15, 2016

(My family is in our car getting ready to leave. As a side note, my mom has been having a very bad day and is close to tears. Random woman approaches the car and taps on the glass.)

Mom: “Yes, is there anything you need?”

Random Woman: “Oh, no, I just noticed that you had a really nice hair style and you looked like you needed to hear something good.”

Mom: “Thank you! That really made my day.”

(The random woman just smiled and walked away. It was true, though. For the rest of the day my mom was smiling. It just goes to show that odd, yet thoughtful behaviour can really change a person’s day.)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | March 15, 2016

(A mother and her two young children (both 4 or 5 years old) come through my checkout line. The mother is on her phone, totally oblivious to her children, who are running around and pulling on my apron strings. We have a spinning carousel with which to bag purchases; as I bag, the children begin spinning it around.)

Me: “No, no, sweetie… please don’t do that. I’m trying to bag.”

(Both children ignore me and keep spinning, and as a result I get hit by the carousel.)

Me: *in pain* “Sweetheart, please don’t do that.”

(The children continue to ignore me, so I put my knee on it so they can no longer spin it.)

Me: “Please don’t.” *to the mother* “Ma’am?”

Mother: *waves me off*

(I have to lift a 24-pack of water, so I remove my knee from the carrousel. As expected, the children take this opportunity to spin it as hard as possible. I set the water down and stop the carousel.)

Me: “Excuse me! When a grown up asks you to stop, you stop. This can hurt you if you get close, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

Mother: “B****! Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked them and I asked you to stop spinning the carrousel. Someone could get hurt.”

Mother: “That’s bulls***!”

(At this point, an elderly woman who has been waiting in line speaks up in my defense.)

Elderly Woman: “Miss, you keep on bagging. This little hussy here should learn to watch her children, and if she can’t, then she shouldn’t have had them!” *to the mother* “In my day, you would be nice to the people at the register! Now, get off the phone and show some respect, because without nice young girls like this you’d never get your groceries and your kids would probably be bleeding on the floor while you’re on the phone too busy to care! What have you to say for yourself?!”

(The mother was completely speechless and had nothing to say in her defense. Instead, she paid for her stuff and left as quickly as possible!)

 

A Tale Of Two Sitters

, , , , , , | Hopeless | March 14, 2016

(I’m on the Metro (subway) during rush hour. Arriving at a station, I see a little girl with a bandaged leg and a crutch getting in the car with her mother. Since there are no seats available, she stays up. A few seconds later, a young man dressed like a thug on a seat behind them calls to the mother.)

Young Man: “Ma’am, take my seat for your child.”

Mother: “Oh, thank you.”

(As soon as the young man gets up, however, a middle-aged lady in a business suit jumps into his seat without saying a word.)

Young Man: “Ma’am, I gave my seat to the little girl, not to you.”

Middle-Aged Lady: “You should’ve said so.”

Young Man: “You were right in front of me and clearly heard me. Besides, it’s obvious this girl needs a seat more than you.”

Middle-Aged Lady: *angrily* “What’s your point?!”

Young Man: “My point is that you’re rude and impolite.”

Middle-Aged Lady: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! Do you know WHO I am?!”

Young Man: “I think I am someone much more polite and well-educated than you. And as to who you are, I frankly don’t care.”

Middle-Aged Lady: “YOU LITTLE F***! My husband owns [Some Big Company]! I’m infinitely much richer and more powerful than you!”

Young Man: *grinning* “So, powerful and rich you take the metro to go home?”

(Stunned, the middle-aged lady looks like she’s been struck by lightning. She sheepishly leaves the car at the next station. The young man then turns to the girl and her mother, who are literally speechless.)

Young Man: *to the mother* “Sorry for that. There’s your seat!”

(The whole car cheered and applauded him. Whoever you are, Metro gentleman, you have my thumbs-up!)


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So Much Pun

, , , , , | Hopeless | March 14, 2016

(I’m zoning the laundry aisle at a popular retail store. An elderly couple walks down the aisle. The husband makes a pun of every name brand he walks by.)

Customer: “CHEER up, dear. We’re in a new ERA now. We’re ALL together, and have everything to GAIN. So SNUGGLE up, but be careful. There’s a TIDE coming in, so SURF’s up!”

(Best. Old dude. Ever.)


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Man’s Best Friend, From Beginning To End

, , , , , , | Right | April 1, 2013

(A family has just had their old golden retriever euthanized, due to a mix of a bad heart and bone cancer. The whole family is pretty despondent, but the youngest, a little boy, is taking it the worst. While the family is waiting for the paperwork to get finished, one of our regulars — a young Air Force lieutenant — walks in. He quickly notices the group, and approaches the desk.)

Lieutenant: “Did they just have to put someone down?”

(I nod. The lieutenant sits down right next to the boy, who is near tears.)

Lieutenant: “You okay, little guy?”

(The boy nods.)

Lieutenant: “Did you lose someone you care about?”

Boy: “Uh huh…”

Lieutenant: “Do you miss him?”

Boy: “Uh huh…”

Lieutenant: “Did you make every day of his life worth living?”

Boy: “Huh?”

Lieutenant: “I lost my little brother to cancer a few years back, and it tore me up. Had I done everything I could? What if I had done this or that differently? I just didn’t know, and it ate me up inside. Then they read us his will. It said, ‘I thank you, all of you, for making what borrowed time on Earth I had worth it, down to the second. That is all I could have asked for; know that should this cancer take me before I pen this will again, I loved each of you like no other family can, and going out with a smile worth smiling is the best way to go.'”

(The whole family is listening at this point, and the boy is completely enraptured. The lieutenant, lost in his recounting for a moment, looks back at the child.)

Lieutenant: “So, if you did your best — your VERY BEST — to make every day of his life worth living, I’m sure from wherever he is now, he’s looking back on your time together and smiling.”

(The boy runs out of his chair, up to the lieutenant, and gives him a hug. He lets loose all the tears he was fighting back. The father tries to remove the child from his iron-gripped hug, but the lieutenant stops him.)

Lieutenant: *to the father* “It really is no trouble at all…”

(As for the boy, he eventually he cried himself to sleep in the lieutenant’s lap.)


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