So Dumb It Hurts
(I work at a vet’s office and am giving a woman and her three children basic grooming information for their new puppy. The conversation has already been going on for an hour.)
Me: “…the groomers can do different ‘cuts’ or ‘styles’ for your dog, depending on how you want him to look.”
Customer: “Will that hurt?”
Me: “Will what hurt?”
Customer: “Cutting him. Will it hurt when you cut him?”
Me: “No… it’s not cutting HIM; it’s just cutting his fur.”
Customer: “Oh… but will that hurt?”
Me: “No… it’s hair.”
Customer: “Are you sure it won’t hurt when you cut it?”
Me: “It’s just like when you get your own hair cut. Does it hurt when you get your hair cut?”
Customer: *looks confused*
Me: “Okay… well, no, it won’t hurt.”
(I then go on to other aspects of grooming… clipping toenails, cleaning the ears, etc.)
Me: “…you can clean the puppy’s ears if they get dirty, or just whenever you give him a bath.”
(I go over the ear cleaning process.)
Customer: “Will it hurt? ”
Me: “No… he may not like it and may shake his head, but it shouldn’t hurt. Just make sure you don’t stick anything, like a Q-Tip, into his ear.”
Customer: “Okay, so how do I do that?”
(I go over the ear cleaning process again.)
Me: “…and again, just whenever you give him a bath…”
Customer: “Okay, how do I do that? ”
Me: “Well, there are several different shampoos you can use…”
Customer: “But how do I do that?”
Me: “You mean… how do you actually give him a bath?”
Customer: “Yes, how do I do that?”
Me: “Just like you’d bathe your kids… The puppy’s small, so you can bathe him in the sink, or in the bathtub…”
Customer: “But how do I bathe him?”
(At this point, I look at the woman’s three children and wonder how they’ve survived their mother.)
Me: “Umm… you put water on him… Err… You know, we have full-service grooming here. It includes a bath. We’ll do everything for you: cut his toenails, clean his ears, trim his hair…”
Customer: “But we don’t want to hurt him. Will a bath hurt?”
Me: “It’s WATER!”
This story is part of our Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup!
Read the next Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup story!
Read the Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup!
Question of the Week
Tell us about a customer who got caught in a lie!
