It is December 23rd. I’m a server, and a group of four men comes in about a half-hour before closing (10:30-ish). Throughout their meal, they are nice and apologize for coming in so late. We talk a bit when I am in the dining area, everything is going well, and they finish up their meals. I am hopeful that they will leave a good tip, until…

Customer #1: “You’re a great waitress, and the food is delicious. We are planning on coming in for dinner tomorrow night. Are you working then, too?”

Me: “Yes, I’m working tomorrow, but I should let you know that since it’s Christmas Eve, we will be closing at 2:00 pm and won’t reopen until the 26th. If you were hoping for a late dinner again, we won’t be available.”

[Customer #1] is instantly infuriated and slams his fork down loudly on the table. Three of the men look up at me like I just admitted to some sort of heinous crime. They all start talking over each other.

Customer #1: *Yelling* “Then where are we supposed to eat? Do you want us to starve?”

Customer #2: *Also yelling* “This is bulls***! You need to stay open for your regular hours! Where are we supposed to go?! Do you even care that we have nowhere to eat dinner on Christmas Eve?

Customer #3: *Yup… yelling* “What do you have going on that’s so f******* important that you can’t be bothered to come to work and do your job?”

[Customer #4] doesn’t say a word; he just shrugs his shoulders and keeps eating. I lose all hope of getting a decent tip and just don’t care.

Me: “I’m driving downstate after we close to have dinner tomorrow and spend Christmas with my family. I have not been home in weeks, so no, I don’t care about where you’re going to eat dinner compared to that. I believe that [Chinese Restaurant] will be open if you want to try there, or you could get something from the grocery store.”

Customer #2: “That’s not what we want!”

Me: “Well, you still have plenty of time to figure it out. Here is your check for when you’re ready, but feel free to take your time, and I will continue to stop by if you need anything.”

I did check on them after that. [Customer #4] did all the talking while the other three just glared at me. Thankfully, he paid the bill and did leave a very generous tip.

My friend works for a mom-and-pop coffee shop. The owners don’t have a set policy for how to greet customers during the holidays like a lot of big corporate places do; they don’t really care as long as you’re polite. My friend takes the approach of responding with whatever the customer might say to her. She recounted this incident from the past holiday season.

Customer #1: “Thanks a bunch. And hey, Merry Christmas!”

Friend: “Merry Christmas. Next!”

Customer #2: *Comes in glaring at my friend* “Manager. Now!”

One of the owners was refilling the pastries next to the register and stands up right away.

Owner: “Yes?”

Customer #2: “You need to take disciplinary action against this employee. That may even be a fireable offense!”

Owner: “Uh, what was?”

Customer #2: “She told the other customer…” *drops his voice* “…’Merry Christmas.'” *Regular volume* “Now, mind you, I wasn’t offended, but it might offend someone, so you need to make an example here!”

Owner: “You’re kidding me, right? You just said you weren’t offended, and the customer who said the same thing to her wasn’t offended.”

The owner calls to the other few people in line.

Owner: “Anyone offended?”

They all shake their heads and roll their eyes.

Owner: “Last I checked, ‘Merry Christmas’ isn’t a swear word or anything like that. Why should I discipline one of my best employees over it?”

[Customer #2] starts ranting about civil liberties that might be infringed upon, and my friend is close to tears, when the next customer in line pipes up.

Customer #3: “Dude, no one here is offended but you, so can you either get a coffee or get a life so I can get my d*** drink?”

[Customer #2] stormed out shouting something about calling the ACLU.

Related:
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 8
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 7
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 6
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 5
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 4

I was working at my first job ever. I was stocking cheese, and I couldn’t find where this particular one went on the shelf. A customer who had been waiting behind me for a few minutes suddenly muttered:

Customer: “You know that moment when you want to fire someone for Christmas?”

Shortly after the lockdown in my area ended, everyone was required to wear masks in public. It was kind of annoying because stores could get fined if a customer didn’t have a mask on. I mean, I understand the reasoning, but it’s not like it’s MY fault that a customer stepped in the door and got missed in the bustle. But whatever.

This guy comes in without a mask, so we ask him — very nicely — to put one on, and he just goes off, screaming about his rights, and blah, blah, blah.

Now, I have allergies and, due to sinus drainage, I get this ridiculous deep-throat cough that literally sounds like I have tuberculosis or something. It strikes without warning, and I cannot control it, usually for a good two or three minutes. It’s bad.

This guy is at the height of his rant when my cough strikes!

My coworkers are actually all used to my cough and typically explain to customers that it’s just from allergies. This time, they all collectively — without discussing it — decide to use this opportunity and take a step back from me.

The guy’s rant fizzles quickly and he slowly backs out of the store, and my coworkers share a laugh. I join them once I’m done coughing!

I needed to go into a particular supermarket in town for a few items which I prefer from there. The store was packed — and I mean RAMMED; I have never seen it so full. Only three of the six tills were open, and I queued for several minutes to make my purchases. The till operator was friendly, polite, and apologised to me for my wait.

While he was ringing me up, a manager walked past. My till operator flagged him down.

Till Operator: “Can we get some more tills open? These lines are ridiculous, and people are waiting.”

The manager looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

Manager: “We don’t need any more tills open. It’s not as if the store is even full.”

Then, he walked off without another word, leaving the poor till operator staring helplessly after him as he finished ringing me up.