One of our regular customers, an elderly woman in a walker, has come out of the theater after her movie has finished. She has a notorious reputation among us for requiring assistance for everything and being very demanding. Today, she has been particularly snippy.

Customer: “I need you to call me a cab.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. Right this way.”

We walk over to the phone. The whole while, she’s grumbling about her movie. I call the cab company whose number I have saved due to having to call it for her so many times.

Customer: *As I’m dialing* “Make sure you tell them to pick me up at [Theater’s Shopping Center]. They don’t speak English very well and don’t understand.”

Cab Company: “Thank you for calling [Cab Company]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m calling for a cab to pick up [Customer] at [Our Theater].”

Customer: *Loudly* “No! You’re doing it wrong! They won’t understand you!”

The cab company overhears the customer over the phone.

Cab Company: “Uh… sorry. Wrong number!” *Hangs up*

It took three more phone calls for them to give in and send her a cab.

I work in a restaurant. The phone rings.

Customer: “Hi. What time do you close?”

Me: “Ten o’clock.”

Customer: “And what time do you stop taking orders?”

Me: “9:59.”

At 10:06, another customer walks in. My boss is standing over my shoulder.

Customer: “Hey, can I still order?”

Me: *Eyeballing my boss cautiously* “I’m sorry, but we’re—”

Boss: *Cutting me off* “[My Name], go do [task].” *To the customer* “Sorry about that, man. What can I get for you?”

The cooks in the kitchen stared daggers at [Boss] and then quietly declared a revolt. I made myself scarce as I cleaned up and clocked out.

Years ago, my office was a large, outside corner one I shared with two other engineers. As jobs shifted, the other two ended up moving out to other areas to work, leaving me alone in the big corner office. I still only used the one corner of the office, but we moved in an extra table to use for team meetings. An office with a good view sounds nice, but frankly, it was cold in the winter and hot in the summer, and there was a leak in the glass that let in rain when it hit the one side of the building.

One day, my manager stopped in my office and told me I had to move to another empty office down the hall by Friday morning. This was on a Wednesday afternoon. Why? A “high-level executive” had noticed that a mere engineer had a corner office and claimed it for her own. This was despite there being a freeze on moving people around at the time, which I pointed out. But being it was an executive versus me, a mere engineer, I was being moved.

So, I rushed to box everything up, arranged for my furniture to be moved — extra expense as it was last minute — arranged for my network and phone access to be moved, and did the actual move by 9:00 am on Friday. No sign of the executive. Nor by Monday. Nor the next week. Nor the week after that. Moves like this are very disruptive, especially when rushed like I had been. I didn’t mind the new office but was just annoyed by the rush and non-necessity of it.

Finally, in the middle of the third week after my rush move, she moved in. Why the delay? After claiming the office, she decided to take a vacation, hadn’t arranged to have her stuff moved before she left, and then wasn’t in a hurry to move in after she got back. Argh!

The best part was that she left the company a couple of months after that and the office has stood empty for years now.

We live next door to a house on a corner. Their driveway is on the opposite side of the house to ours; however, they have a gate to their yard right next to our driveway. The tenants insist that THIS is their driveway. People often park in front of the gate, causing the neighbours to lose it every time. They scream obscenities at anyone they catch parking there or leave abusive notes on the cars. However, they never call the council because they know they aren’t right!

One day, I park there as I’m just ducking home to get changed before going out again. The two women are in the yard with their car, but the gate is closed. I go into my house and come out about thirty minutes later to find an abusive note threatening police if I park there again. They are still in the yard but quickly turn their backs to me. I scrunch up the note and throw it in the yard, get in the car, and drive off just as they come running out, screaming.

Neighbours: “Assault! That’s assault! You assaulted us! That’s it! We’re calling the police!”

It turns out that they were awful tenants and the lease was not renewed.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to talk to [Supervisor].”

Me: “I’m sorry, she’s not in today. I can connect you to the woman covering for her or leave a message for tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, I have to talk to [Supervisor] and it has to be today. Do you have her phone number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I cannot give out employee phone numbers; it’s a privacy issue.”

The customer starts to get very cranky.

Customer: “I don’t want you to give me her number. I want you to call her and tell her to call me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I’m not allowed to access employee phone numbers myself because that’s private information.”

Customer: “IT’S NOT A PRIVACY ISSUE IF YOU ARE THE ONE CALLING! JUST CALL HER AND MAKE HER CALL ME!”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, I don’t have a way to access that information.”

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

I connected her to my manager who she eventually wore down into calling my supervisor. I later found out that all the customer wanted was to ask my supervisor if she wanted to go to a concert with her.