(We get a phone call on a Thursday night in December, the busiest season in catering.)
Customer: “May I speak to the owner?”
Me: “This is the owner. How may I help you?”
Customer: “NO, I mean the guy who is the owner.”
Me: “That’s my husband. I’m sorry, he is busy at the moment. Is there something I can help you with?”
Customer: “I need a catering menu emailed.”
Me: “I can certainly do that for you. When is your event?”
Customer: “Saturday.”
Me: “This Saturday? Like two days from now?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Well, I apologize but we are completely booked for this Saturday.”
Customer: “That’s why I wanted to talk to the other owner. I spoke to him two weeks ago and he said you were not booked.”
Me: “We weren’t booked two weeks ago, but we are now.”
Customer: “Well, I’ve already sent out the invitations, and I need food for my party.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we are completely booked. We already have three large parties, and we just couldn’t possibly take on a fourth.”
Customer: “Can you recommend another caterer?”
Me: “Not really. I’ve never used another caterer, so I can’t recommend one.”
Customer: “Haven’t you ever been to a party catered by another caterer?”
Me: “We’re caterers. We don’t go to parties. We work at other people’s parties.”
Customer: “IT’S ONLY TWENTY-FIVE PEOPLE!”
Me: “Um… okay.”
Customer: “You said you have three parties. Couldn’t you just make enough extra food for 25 people and come over and serve it?”
Me: “You mean cater the party?”
Customer: “No, just make some food and bring it over and serve it, and clean up afterward. It’s fairly easy, isn’t it?”
(I adore it when people tell me my sixteen-hour-a-day job is easy.)
Read the next Clueless Zoo Customers roundup story!
