(It’s the first of December and we’re decorating. A coworker helps me untangle a string of lights and I plug them in.)

Coworker: “Looks like you’ve got a short; some of the colors aren’t working. Let me take a look. I know a lot about these you know.”

Me: “Do you smell burning?”

Coworker: *not paying attention* “That’s too bad. I think I found the problem. Hang on, let me pull this bulb. You know, these things are bad for overheating.”

Me: “Oh, here. This bulb is on fire.”

Coworker: “Wait, what?!” *sees the bulb I’m holding, drops the lights, and bolts out of my cubicle*

(I calmly unplugged the lights and blew out the flame. I wish I could say this was the first fire I’d dealt with at work, but it was definitely the smallest. Hardly worth fleeing in terror over.)

(My boyfriend is an avid skier, so for Christmas I buy him a pass to our local ski area. The pass is just a piece of heavy paper, and rather than just tucking it in a card, I put it in a small box and add a few heavy beads to throw him off when he tries to guess what it is. I go over to his house around the 20th, he opens the door.)

Me: “Merry Christmas!” *hands him the box*

Boyfriend: *takes the box and immediately drops it*

Both: “Oh, no!”

Me: “I’m sure it will be okay.”

(After some socializing I go home. Come Christmas morning, the phone rings.)

Boyfriend: “You are so rotten! I’ve been shaking that box every day since you gave it to me, trying to figure out how broken it was, and if I could fix it before you knew!”

Me: *laughing my head off* “Yeah, it couldn’t have worked out better if I’d planned it.”

(He loved the ski pass!)

(At my store, we’ve been giving out coupons for customers to come back between certain days to receive 20% off their purchase. It’s the day before the most recent coupon activates. I’m at the register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “I did! I was in here last week and got a coupon. I’d like to use it today.”

Me: “Sure, can I see it?” *she’s holding the recent bounce-back coupon that will activate the next day* “Oh, that’s the coupon that starts tomorrow, but that’s okay; let me check if your items are on sale anyway!”

Customer: “But I came in specially to use the coupon.”

Me: “I understand, and I’m really sorry”. *I scan her items, many of which are already on sale* “So, it looks like most of your purchase today wouldn’t fall under the coupon and you can keep it to use in the next couple weeks.”

Customer: “Maybe you could try to use the coupon.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll try.” *I ring it, but the register won’t accept it because it hasn’t been activated yet*

(At this point, there’s a fairly long line, so I call the only other employee on the floor over to help.)

Me: “My register can’t apply the coupon because it won’t be active until tomorrow. We can either go ahead with the purchase, or I can void it and hold the items for you until tomorrow, whichever you’d rather.”

Customer: “But I want my coupon! You just don’t want to give it to me, you fat, lazy brat!”

Me: “I…”

Coworker: *who is the manager on duty* “Ma’am, my associate has given you both the options available. She has also tried to ring your coupon which did not apply because our registers can’t accept it, not because she didn’t want to. I was going to have her honor it anyway, but since you decided to insult her instead, either purchase your items or let us hold them for you until tomorrow. You’re holding up the line.”

Customer: “Fine! Hold it for me until tomorrow, then!”

Me: “Sure, not a problem. Can I get a name to hold it under?”

(She gives me her name, then storms away.)

Coworker: “Happy Holidays!”

(Usually, I go home for Christmas every year, but this year I have to work over the festive period. To make up for this, my mum suggests getting everyone together for an early Christmas so we can at least have some time together. I buy an expensive train ticket down south and buy everyone’s presents. However, a few days before I am about to leave, my mum suddenly drops a bombshell on me.)

Mum: “We’re looking forward to having you down this weekend.”

Me: “Oh, me, too. It will be wonderful have a little Christmas get-together.”

Mum: “But you know you’re sister isn’t coming, right?”

Me: “Err… No. Why not?”

Mum: “Oh, she’s going to meet up with a friend that day.”

Me: “That’s a little annoying. I thought you said she was coming! Well, at least [Brother] and [Brother’s Fiancée] will be there, right?”

Mum: “Oh, no. He’s not coming!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Mum: “He’s got plans with friends; you know how it is.”

Me: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!”

Mum: “What’s the matter?”

Me: “Mum, there’s no point me coming home now!”

Mum: “Oh, yes. I suppose not!”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

Mum: “You can still come, though.”

Me: “What for? No one’s going to be there!”

Mum: “Dad and I will be here!”

Me: “That’s not the same. I’m not going to get a family Christmas this year; I’m working!”

Mum: “Well, can’t you just go to a friend’s house or something Christmas Day?”

Me: “I’M WORKING! Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Mum: “I thought I did.”

(For the next few minutes, my mum and I go back and forth; she claims to have told me and I confirm that she said nothing. Finally, after mentioning it for the umpteenth time I finally snap.)

Mum: “Are you sure I didn’t tell you?”

Me: “NO… YOU… DIDN’T!”

Mum: “There’s no need to shout!”

Me: “Mum, there is every need to shout! I’ve just spent loads of money on a really expensive ticket and a bunch of presents, which you are now telling me I won’t be able to give or receive until months after Christmas! Secondly, you told me we were going to be getting together because I won’t get a family Christmas this year, and now, a couple of days before going, you suddenly tell me no one is showing up! I think I have a few reasons to be angry!”

Mum: “Are you sure I didn’t tell you?”

(At the end of my rope, I hung up on her. Afterwards, I got a bunch of messages from her about my “rude behaviour,” informing me that she was “waiting for an apology!” Early the next day, my dad called me, extremely apologetic about it. Apparently, my mum hadn’t actually organized anything and had just casually mentioned that I “might be dropping by on the weekend.” Thankfully, my brother and sister were very understanding and agreed to come for the early Christmas. My mum looked very embarrassed throughout the dinner, though.)

(I work part-time in a retail store. We are primarily a book store but also sell stationery, magazines and cards. At the moment we have a display of boxed Christmas cards at the front of the store.)

Customer: “Do you have any Christmas cards that will fit this envelope?” *holds up a bunch of very thin, very long envelopes*

Me: “We might do! Have a look around and see what we have.”

(The customer is looking at the cards on display and clearly didn’t hear me.)

Customer: *a moment later, already with attitude* “Well, do you?”

Me: *repeats, still cheerfully* “Yeah, we might do!”

Customer: *quite aggressively* “No I want you to come and HELP me find one.”

(I was just about to cash up one of the tills as it’s near closing.)

Me: “Oh, okay, sure.” *I walk around the counter and approach her* “May I have a look at the envelope size you have there?”

Customer: *hands me one of them* “See, because they’re all pre-paid for and I’ve written on them already.”

Me: “Okay, I see.” *I start comparing the envelope in my hand to cards in the boxed packs she’s looking at* “These ones here look like they might fit?”

Customer: “No, you have to take it out of the box to see for sure.”

(It sounds like a mild suggestion to me. I don’t oblige because we typically don’t open packaging unless they’re going to buy it. Sometimes we do make exceptions but these boxed packs of cards aren’t a simple open and close. I keep comparing the card sizes inside the boxes.)

Customer: “What about these ones? These are nice.” *hands me a pack*

Me: *checking* “Yeah, they look like they’d be a good fit!”

Customer: *snaps* “No, you have to take it out and LOOK!”

(I’m surprised, not really sure what to say for a moment because, again, we don’t typically do that. I open my mouth to speak… but apparently too late.)

Customer: *practically yelling now* “Look, if you don’t WANT to help me, I’ll just go somewhere else!” *snatches the envelope from my hand and storms off*

(I just let her go with a very bewildered “Okay…?” Who wants to serve a customer like that, anyway?)