Challenge Accepted

, , , , , | Right | March 28, 2021

I work at a chain bookstore in New Zealand and have an insanely good ability to find things with very little information. A guy comes in with his friend and I ask them if they need some help.

Customer: “I’m looking for a cookbook by an Australian author that’s around $150.”

Customer’s Friend: “Dude, you have not given her enough information. She will never find it.”

Me: “I accept that challenge.”

Less than thirty seconds later:

Me: “Is it The Cook’s Companion by Stephanie Alexander?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “We don’t have it, sorry. It’s not so easy to get, but it is available on our website; it comes from overseas.”

Customer’s Friend: “S***, you’re good.”

Customer: “Never doubt these people, man.”

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Homo Defectus

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2021

I’m a customer in this story. I don’t live in the best part of town but I have a good relationship with many local store owners. I get to the counter just behind another customer. He has a four-pack of mixed drinks, which he holds in his hands instead of putting on the counter. The cashier reaches out to get them to scan, and the guy loses it.

Customer: “What the f***?! You touched my hand! Don’t touch me, you homo! I don’t want those; I’m not buying anything from this homo shop!”

The cashier thinks the guy is making some off-colour joke and gives a half-hearted laugh.

Customer: “Why are you laughing?! What is wrong with you, you homo?! Everyone in this shop is a f****** homo! I’m not buying s*** from this homo shop!”

The awesome owner comes out of the backroom:

Owner: “Good, get out! We don’t want your money! Piss off!” 

The customer stormed out, got in his car, and gunned it, screeching out of the carpark and screaming out his window about how no one should go to this shop because it’s a “homo shop.”

I turned to the cashier and both of us just had “What the f***?” expressions on our faces.

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Please Drive On The Right Side Of The Century

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2021

I’m a tour guide but also drive the bus. I’m used to this surprising some of our guests, who are used to the driver and guide being two different roles. One day, I am at the ticket office doing a few jobs before my tour group arrives. A ticket office worker approaches me while talking to a couple from the US.

Ticket Office Worker: “Here she is now. This is the guide for your tour.”

Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name]. I’m your driver and guide.”

Male Customer: “Oh, no! We have a woman driver?”

Me: “Sure!”

I laugh it off thinking the gentleman is being funny, but I find he’s not really joking.

Male Customer: *Perfectly serious* “I’m a bit sexist about these things.”

I am astounded but polite, as I’m used to allowing for different cultural beliefs.

Me: “Oh, well, I’m perfectly safe, I promise.”

Then, I see one of my more, shall we say, “forthright” colleagues approaching the counter, and I can’t resist a bit of mischief.

Me: “Actually, many of our drivers here are ladies. Like [Colleague], here.”

I made myself conveniently absent.

Funnily enough, the very next day I had four men from Saudi Arabia on my tour who didn’t seem to have any problem at all with a female driver.

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Consult A Medium For The Answer

, , , | Right | October 12, 2020

Customer: “Hi. Can I get a [Burger] combo?”

Cashier: “What size?”

Customer: “Do you have small?”

Cashier: “Only medium and large, sorry.”

Customer: “Oh. Which one’s smaller?”

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PIN-Headed, Part 11

, , , | Right | June 11, 2020

I work in a petrol station and it’s about 5:00 pm. I overhear this conversation between my coworker and a customer.

Coworker: “Hi. Do you have a loyalty card? Would you like to use your discount today?”

The loyalty card gets you six cents per litre off your fuel.

Customer: “Yes, I have one.”

Coworker: “Would you like to use your discount today?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

The coworker puts through the discount and gets the screen ready for payment.

Coworker: “Was that cash or card today?”

Customer: “Card, please.”

The customer swipes their card and stares at my coworker.

Customer: “Is it Cheque or Savings?”

Coworker: “I don’t know what your account is, sorry.”

The customer puts in a number and it declines.

Customer: “Why did it do that?”

Coworker: “You put in the wrong PIN number. Did you want to ask your husband to come inside and do the transaction for you? Your card will be locked if you get it wrong again.”

The customer goes out to her husband in the car and comes back in.

Customer: “The PIN number is—”

Coworker: *Cutting her off* “Let’s swipe your card again and choose your account.”

The customer does so and the rest of the transaction goes through without a hitch. The customer leaves and my coworker turns to me.

Coworker: “Why didn’t the husband just come in?”

Me: *Shrugs* “Maybe he’s giving her free rein of the funds?”

Coworker: *Laughs* “At least she won’t spend too much if she doesn’t even know her account.”

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 10
PIN-Headed, Part 9
PIN-Headed, Part 8

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