Unfiltered Story #219061

, , | Unfiltered | December 22, 2020

I am working for a popular cell phone company taking calls from pre-pay/pay as you go customers. Customers call up for many reasons from topping up their phone with vouchers/credit card to querying why the cell phone won’t connect. Bear in mind when this call comes through the customer has been on hold for about 10 minutes with our hold music and multiple mentions of our company name interspersed throughout.

Me: “Good morning, welcome to (cell phone company). You’re speaking with (my name)

Customer: Yeah, i’d like to get my balance.

Me: Ok, can I take your cell phone number please?

Customer: (gives me cell phone number)

Me: Ok, great. You have $10.21 credit.

Customer: Oh really? And how much in my savings account?

Me: I’m sorry, your savings account?

Customer: Yes, how much is in there?

Me: (checking if he has another cell phone in his name) You don’t have a savings account. There is only $10.21 on your account.

Customer: ……

Me: (The penny drops) You do know you’ve called (cell phone company) don’t you?

Customer: Oh…..so this isn’t (popular national bank)?

Me: No you’ve called (cell phone company)

Customer: Oh, right. Sorry.

Consult A Medium For The Answer

, , , | Right | October 12, 2020

Customer: “Hi. Can I get a [Burger] combo?”

Cashier: “What size?”

Customer: “Do you have small?”

Cashier: “Only medium and large, sorry.”

Customer: “Oh. Which one’s smaller?”

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Unfiltered Story #201561

, , | Unfiltered | July 25, 2020

(One of the many things we sell in our store is printer ink. Most customers are really good about knowing exactly what cartridge they need to get. A little bit annoying but still better than some are the ones who at least know what their printer number is – we just have to look on all the cartridges for that brand until we find the printer and remind them not to open the box until they double check just in case it’s wrong. Of course, the people who come in with no information at all, we simply can’t help. But this customer really takes the cake.)
Customer: *approaches the counter* Do you sell printer ink?
Me: *gestures to the wall of printer inks right behind me* We sure do!
Customer: …Do you have Canon ink?
Me: Yep! *walk over to the Canon ink cartridges, ready to grab one for him* Do you know which one you need?
Customer: *seems to ignore my last question* *long pause* ……How much is the black ink?
Me: Um, so we actually have a lot of different kinds of black ink, the price would depend on the exact cartridge you need. Do you know what you’re after? *no response* ..Or do you know the printer you have maybe?
Customer: ………Oh. *walks away*

Unfiltered Story #201555

, , | Unfiltered | July 25, 2020

Customer: *she is an elderly lady who has been looking at our humorous cards for a while now* Do you have any funny get well cards?
Me: Well, I can show you where the get well soon cards are. *show her that section* This is the selection we have here.
Customer: But no funny ones?
Me: *I’m not familiar with every single card we have of course* I’m not sure, a couple of them might be funny!
Customer: Mm, no, I can tell by looking at them that they’re not. Oh well, I’ll have a look anyway. *dismisses me with a wave of her hand*
Later on
Customer: *comes up with a chosen card. This conversation takes place with my coworker, also an elderly lady, who is standing nearby as I’m putting the transaction through* It’s a shame you don’t have a bigger selection, really. I guess it’s just going out of fashion, isn’t it, sending cards or letters or what have you. *my coworker is nodding and agreeing and I can’t get a word in to ask if she’d like a bag* You know, most young people these days don’t even bother to send a simple text to their friends on their birthdays nowadays. It’s become a really selfish world, hasn’t it?
Me: *handed her the receipt and her card without saying anything else. I was holding my tongue for fear I’d snap at her that, as a “young person” myself, I have never known anyone to not AT LEAST send a text or write a facebook post saying happy birthday, if not say something in person or give a present, and that in fact I still give AND receive birthday cards every single year.*
Coworker: Ah well. Have a nice day!
Customer: You too!
Me: *strained smile*

Unfiltered Story #197585

, , | Unfiltered | June 24, 2020

(We work on a main street and as such we get a lot of customers who ask us for directions. I have very mild dyslexia, and can’t tell left from right. In order to combat this, I always point to direct people.
Despite this, my colleagues and I have noticed that no matter which one of us provides directions, customers always leave and head the wrong way.
This happens over a space of 5 minutes)

Customer 1: “Hi, do you know where [store] is?”
Me: “*Pointing left with whole arm* Head to the corner, and then turn up [Streetname] and its 100m up.”
Customer 1: “Great! Thank you! *Promptly turns, walks out, and heads right”.

Customer 2: “Do you know how to get to [store]?”
Me: *Stands up, and points with whole arm* “Sure, its 6 doors up the road in this direction”.
Customer 2: “Cheers!”
*Walks out and heads the wrong direction. Entire store cracks up with laughter.*