I’m working the front of house. I’m dressed smartly as the restaurant is reasonably formal — mid- to high-end food and prices. As our system is down, I’m carrying a clipboard with the reserved list, so it’s pretty obvious that I’m working.

A woman my age walks in alone; no one seems to be following her.

Me: “Good morning. Do you have a reservation?”

Woman: “Oh, no. Do I need one?”

Me: “We do have some tables available. How many are dining today?”

Woman: “Well, it’s—”

A guy dressed in a sideways cap, tracksuit, and very bright trainers (sneakers) walks in and speaks to me.

Guy: “Hey, what you talking to her for?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: *Sighs* “He works here. He was trying to find us a table.”

Guy: “Hmm, I know what these guys are like, though.”

Me: “Was it just you two today?”

Guy: “Yeah, find us a booth.”

Me: “We don’t have ‘booths’ but I can certainly find you somewhere private.”

I stuck them way back away from view. I checked on them. The guy was on his phone and it all felt very awkward. We got busy quickly, and I was asked to move on a guy out front who was disturbing our guests

Surprise, surprise, it was the guy from earlier. I could smell what he was smoking from a mile off. I eventually managed to get him to move around the corner, but he didn’t go without a fight.

I managed to miss the theatrics, but apparently, he stormed out before the bill was paid. I checked on the woman he was with, and she was pretty calm.

Turns out this was some sort of last chance/reconciliation dinner. She told me she had some amazing-sounding job offer out of the country, but he wanted to stay to work on his rap career.

I bought her a dessert. She left a tip and I wished her well.

A couple of weeks later, we got a card through the door thanking me for the support and a small note that she was on the way to the airport… alone.

I hope she does great.

I’m at work. Our office is right across the street from a national chain drugstore. We often run over there for snacks. Usually, one person goes with a list and everyone else reimburses them when they come back.

A couple of days ago, the guy I was in love with dumped me on my birthday, so I am in a horrible mood. I told a couple of female coworkers who asked why I was so quiet. One of my male coworkers was walking by at that moment. He mostly keeps to himself at work, as our department is majority female.

About two hours later, I see him going from desk to desk. He stops at mine.

Coworker: “Hey, I’m doing the snack run today. Want anything?”

Me: “Um… something with caffeine in it. A soda or coffee would work.”

Coworker: “Gotcha.”

He leaves and returns about twenty minutes later with everyone’s food and drinks. He hands me a bottled flavored coffee from an internationally known chain.

Me: “Thanks! This is great. How much do I owe you?”

Coworker: “Oh, don’t worry about it.”

Me: “No, no. These are usually about $4, right?”

I pull out my wallet.

Coworker: “Put that away. It’s on me. Breakups suck.”

It was a small gesture, but it helped my mood a lot that day.

I worked in a restaurant. Every Sunday, this couple would come in, order food, and sit and fight and argue with each other the entire time they were eating their meal.

They did this every. Freaking. Sunday. For the entire four years that I worked there.

Why don’t you just break up or divorce already?!

When I was in high school, I worked at a pool store selling pools, spas, and chemicals. It was owned by a married couple that, to put it nicely, needed couples therapy. They would fight frequently and both had a temper.

One day, they were both at the store in the back warehouse screaming at one another about something or other. In walked a regular customer. This was one of the customers that would come in from time to time just to talk to one of the owners, and not about actual pool-related topics.

I greeted the regular with the usual spiel.

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Regular: “I need to talk to [Owner].”

I was kind of panicking, and I resorted to the classic telemarketer-on-the-phone lie.

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Owner] isn’t here right now.”

Regular: “I know he’s here; his truck is out front.”

Now I figured there was no other way of handling this with grace. I put my finger up to my mouth in a shushing motion.

Regular: “What do you mean?”

I kept my finger to my mouth and actually verbally said, “Shuuuush.” The regular customer stopped talking for a moment and heard them screaming at each other from the back warehouse.

Regular: “Oh.”

Me: *Lowering my finger* “Yeah. You’re welcome to go interrupt them if you like, but I’m not paid enough for that.” *Shrugs and chuckles awkwardly*

Regular: “I think I’ll just come back later.”

Me: “Sounds good!”

My supervisor was sleeping with an associate. Eventually, as most work shenanigans do, theirs burned out and got ugly. [Associate] was at the register next to mine with several people in line waiting to check out when [Supervisor] approached. He stepped between the woman finishing her transaction and the one waiting to start. When the first woman left, [Supervisor] handed [Associate] a piece of paper.

Associate: “What?” *Looks at the paper* “A drug test?!”

Supervisor: *Smiling* “All employees agree to remain drug-free throughout employment. Drug tests may be performed at any time for any reason.”

Associate: “Are you serious?”

Supervisor: “I scheduled you an appointment at [Nearby Clinic] in twenty minutes.”

[Associate] left, took her drug test… and did not come back. [Supervisor] left at the end of his shift and also did not come back. Rumor has it that before [Associate] left for her test, she told Human Resources that [Supervisor] had sold her cocaine and marijuana at a discount for sleeping with him and allowing him to steal things when he went through her register. Security reviewed the tapes and he was consequently fired.