We had a guest staying in our hotel under his boss’s card. He was fired on his last night and stole the hairdryer, three pillows — with cases and protectors — the trash can, the mattress pad, the sheets, the blanket and comforter, the bed skirt, the coffee basket with all the cups and fixings — but not the coffee maker — a lamp, and the three-foot square wall mirror! 

His boss was called and paid with his card for the damages, and then called the cops on the former employee. Housekeeping and maintenance somehow managed to get the room rentable within four hours. 

Honestly, we are surprised he left the TV!

(I’m the customer in this story. My mom and I are out to dinner at a well-known soup and sandwich place that also has a bakery. They sell baked goods such as cookies, brownies, and cinnamon rolls, as well. One thing they have is called a cobblestone muffin, which is basically apple cinnamon raisin pull-apart bread in a large muffin shape. My mom is addicted to them and has ordered one with our food. Later, when our food comes out, she lets the guy know she’s waiting for it, as well. Apparently, this guy wasn’t listening.)

Worker: “Oh. They should’ve given it to you at the register. I can go grab it if you’d like.”

Mom: “That’d be great.”

Worker: *starts walking away and immediately backtracks* “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

Mom: “Cobblestone muffin.”

Worker: “Cobble…”

(He trails off as he walks away, only to return about ten seconds later, peeking into the window-like opening in the wall beside our table. He reaches in.)

Worker: “May I see your receipt? I just want to make sure.”

(He takes it and walks away again. My mom and I start eating our food. He comes back, reaching through the opening again to set the receipt on the table. Keep in mind the receipt says, “1 cobblestone.”)

Worker: “You’re going to have to come up to decide what kind of scone you want.”

Mom: “Huh? No, no. Not a scone.”

Worker: *comes back around* “I’m sorry. I’m not understanding what you’re asking for.”

Mom: *somehow still patient, speaking clearly* “A cobblestone muffin.”

Worker: *starts walking away again* “A cobblescone…”

Me: *banging my head on the table, frustrated but still laughing* “Oh, come on. It’s not like they have more than one item with ‘cobblestone’ in the name!”

(The whole ordeal was probably about ten minutes. Eventually, he got it right but geez, even the trainee on his first day that took our order knew what they were!)

A few years ago, the company I work for bought another, smaller company that used to be a competitor. Their office, headquartered in another state across the country from us, remained open, and thus we had two locations for our one company.

The problem is that the new office is seriously understaffed. They’re essentially trying to do the same work as our office with one-fifth of the staff. This means that a lot of times, clients are calling in and getting either no answer, or a voicemail message, with no calls back because nobody has time to check them. So, our corporate managers make a fantastically stupid decision.

Whenever anyone calls the new office, and the phone rings eight times without an answer, the call will bounce to our office. Great in theory, right? Sure, until this gem happens.

A remote employee, contracted with the new office, calls in to report a problem and that she may not be on time to do her job that’s coming up. She calls the new office, the phone rings eight times, and it bounces to us. My supervisor takes the call, and decides to get in touch with the new office to let them know, so they can take care of the proper arrangements.

My supervisor then dials the number for the new office.

Eventually, someone picks up.

My supervisor notes that the guy who answers has the same name as someone working in our office. Sounds like him, even.

My supervisor reports the problem, and there’s silence on the other line. Out of the corner of his eye, my supervisor sees someone turn around in his chair. It’s the employee with the same name as the guy on the phone. No, he is the guy on the phone. Two of our staff are talking to one another on the phone, from ten feet away, about a problem our office can’t resolve.

The bounced call policy was removed hours later.

I’m talking to my sister about computers. Recently, our grandpa bought a new computer and needed help setting it up. He was surprised when my very tech-savvy sister offered to help. Upon setting up his computer, she found he had been sold a bunch of add-on programs that my sister could have downloaded legitimate open-source copies of for free.

He also happened to show her the receipt. On the receipt, there was a £20 charge for “tablet set-up.” My grandpa doesn’t own a tablet, and the store didn’t offer computer set-ups, so this was quite obviously the store hoping he wouldn’t notice.

Upon noticing when he got home, he rang up the national helpline for this store and demanded a refund for a service he had never received. In the end, after much arguing, the helpline agreed to refund his card manually — they tried to say that it could only be done if my grandpa took the 40-minute drive to the store and they refunded him at the till. In the end, my sister decided not to tell him that they had also scammed him in terms of the add-on programs he had been sold. Regardless, my grandpa has vowed never to shop there again and to ask for my sister’s advice the next time he needs computer help!

(My mother has become ill, and I have to take over her finances. I call all of the utilities to have them send the bills directly to me. This works fine for all but one company.)

Me: “I would like to change the address of the bills so that I can pay them for my mother.”

Customer Representative: “She has to call us.”

Me: “She is in the hospital and can’t be reached. I can answer all of your security questions.”

Customer Representative: “She has to call us.”

Me: “So, you just need a female voice? I can have my girlfriend get on the phone.”

Customer Representative: “She has to call us.”

Me: *frustrated* “Okay, then please make a note in the file that, from now on, all the bills will be paid late, because I only come down here every couple of weeks.”

(Long pause.)

Customer Representative: “Okay, where did you want the bills sent to?”