Me: “Gracias por llamar a [Company]. ¿En que le puedo asistir hoy?”

Caller: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, your call came in through the Spanish line. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “I want to talk to somebody in English.”

Me: “I speak English, ma’am, You must have pressed the Spanish option through the automated system, but I will be more than happy to help you.”

Caller: “What was that you were speaking before?”

Me: “Spanish.”

Caller: “I want to talk to somebody in English.”

Me: “Ma’am, I speak English as well. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *slowly* “I want to talk to somebody in the United States who speaks English!”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *hangs up*

This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Amazing Stories About Spain! – The Not Always Right World Tour!

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Read the Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

(A customer reads my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s a strange name isn’t it?”

Me: “Heh.”

Customer: “How do you pronounce that? Tain-ee… Trenay? Seriously, what is that? Welsh? Irish?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “It sounds really exotic, really foreign.”

Me: “No, no, I am a trainee. Trainee isn’t my name.”

Customer: “Ohh, right. Well, thanks for the help, Train-ee!”

This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Customer: “I’ll take a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

Customer: “Just a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Okay, I got that. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Small cappuccino.”

Me: “No, sir, I need your name for the order so we can call it out when your order’s ready.”

Customer: *tries to save face* “Err… Small Cappuccino. My name is Small Cappuccino!”

This story is part of the Customers-Who-Will-Die-On-Their-Hill-themed roundup!

Read the next Customers-Who-Will-Die-On-Their-Hill roundup story!

Read the Customers-Who-Will-Die-On-Their-Hill-themed roundup!

This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Me: “Thank you for calling [Grocery Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought peanut butter! Now I don’t know what to do with it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You had peanut butter on sale: buy two, get one free. I bought the two and got one free, and now I have nothing to do with it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not the fault of the store.

Customer: “What do I do with it?!”

Me: “Put it on a sandwich?”

Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in two tablespoons of peanut butter? 200! 200 calories!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what to do with your peanut butter.”

Customer: “I don’t care! If you don’t tell me what to do with it right now, I’m going to complain to your manager and have you fired!”

Me: “Ma’am–”

Customer: “What do I do with the peanut butter?!”

Me: “I don’t know, make cookies with it? Give a jar to a friend? Donate to a homeless shelter?”

Customer: “Are you crazy?! I paid good money for this stuff. I’m not going to just give it away. YOU. ARE. AN. IDIOT!”

This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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Read the Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was just wondering what is currently showing at the moment?”

Me: “Well, the current production is Timon of Athens.”

Customer: “Oh? Is that another sequel of The Lion King? Can I book seats for that?”

Me: “It’s a Shakespearean tragedy. It’s not about lions.”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s just about the meerkat?”

This story is part of the Theater roundup!

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Read the Theater roundup!