Gasp If You Want To Be Heard

, , , , , , | Working | October 26, 2017

(There has been a major blizzard. Though the walkways in the zoo have been partially ploughed, the snow is still rough, and the benches are totally snowed under. I misjudge my stamina, and find myself gasping for breath and in a fair amount of pain when I finally struggle through the snow into the closest zoo exhibit. I collapse on the nearest chair and concentrate on breathing.)

Volunteer: “There aren’t any polar bears out today.”

Me: *gasp* “Darn!” *gasp*

Volunteer: “But you can see the seals!”

Me: *gasp* “I doubt I can—” *gasp* “—walk that far.”*gasp*.

Volunteer: “Enjoy the exhibit!”

Me: “I’ll try to.” *gasp*. “Um, ma’am?” *gasp*

Volunteer: “Yes?”

Me: “I doubt I can safely make it back to the Administration Building.” *gasp* “Could you get someone to come over—” *gasp* “—with a cart or something?” *gasp* “I’ll gladly pay for it.”

Volunteer: “We don’t have anything like that.”

Me: “Not any motorized vehicle in—” *gasp*“—the entire zoo?”

Volunteer: “Nope!”

Me: “Okay, would you do me—” *gasp* “—a favor? Please call the—” *gasp* “—Admin Building and ask them to—” *gasp* “—watch for me. If I haven’t checked in with them in—” *gasp* “—45 minutes, would they please send someone back this—” *gasp* “—way to see what happened to me?”

(Then the volunteer picked up her walkie-talkie and phoned security to send a guy in a golf cart to drive me back.)

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The Bridal Shower Of Tears

, , , , , , , | Related | October 26, 2017

While planning my wedding, I have neglected to plan, or get a family member to plan a bridal shower. I don’t particularly mind, but my aunt very graciously offers to throw a bridal shower for me. I give her a guest list based off of my previous baby shower for my son, and she starts planning away.

One day after handing out the invitations, my future mother-in-law calls saying that I forgot to invite two of my fiancé’s cousins. I don’t know them well, but I feel bad for neglecting them, so, after asking my aunt, I tell my mother-in-law to invite them, but to make sure to let them know that this isn’t a children-friendly event.

A week before the shower, my aunt calls me, confused, as several people not on the guest list have RSVP’d, and specified that they are bringing their kids. I call my mother-in-law to make sure there wasn’t a miscommunication. She not only invited four of my fiancé’s cousins, most of whom I don’t know, or my fiancé doesn’t talk to anymore, but she also told them to invite their kids, too. This adds up to about eight more people than previously expected, and my aunt’s house can’t accommodate this.

After hanging up with my mother-in-law, I call my mom, because I am not sure what to do or how to approach this situation. My mother, understandably, is mad that my mother-in-law was rude enough to invite people without at least asking me or making sure I knew the people. She decides to call my mother-in-law to figure out a solution: either have two showers to accommodate the people, or rent space so that there is room for these people and split the cost.

My mother calls, and she barely gets into the conversation before my mother-in-law loses it on her. She calls my mom all sorts of names and ends with, “Shove this party right up your a**.” My fiancé and I, after hearing this, decide not to engage with my mother-in-law’s behavior and let her calm down.

The next day, my mother-in-law texts me, telling me that her side is throwing a “Welcome to the Family” party for me, despite the fact that I gave her a grandson two years ago and have been a part of the family since then. I bluntly tell her that I will not attend any event until she apologizes to my mom for her outburst. After much foot-stomping and whining and, “You don’t care about my feelings,” she finally relents and gives my mother a half-baked apology.

When it comes time to attend her party, every person there ignores me. It is, in theory, a party for me, but not one person really talks to me the entire time. It is bad enough that even my maid of honour, who came with me, notices.

I did marry into the family, in the end. But honestly, if I didn’t know my now-husband so well, I would have taken off running as far away from that family as possible!

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Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic

, , , | Healthy | October 26, 2017

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”

Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”

Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”

Me: “Any known allergies?”

Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”

Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”

(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”

Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin!”

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No More Playing Band In French Wearing Pants

, , , , | Learning | October 25, 2017

(It’s the end of the school year. Most our classes are taught by one teacher, and our teacher has made a list to remind us that other classes are over. One of my classmates added to it, so the list reads:)

No more band!

No more French!

No more pants!

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The Couponator 3: Rise Of The Coupons

, , , , , , | Right | October 24, 2017

(I am working at the cash register during our supper hour when we get a lot of customers coming through. Note that very recently, we have released coupons to arrive in the mail for every household, as well as printable versions. Customers are allowed to use more than one coupon at a time.)

Me: “Hi, I can help you over here.”

Customer: “I have multiple coupons today.” *pulls out her purse and proceeds to pull out five printed coupons*

(These coupons are “Buy one, get one free.” So, with a sandwich and a medium fry, one can get a second sandwich for free. She starts giving me her order, consisting of four burgers, four orders of nuggets, two chicken burgers, one large wrap, two small wraps, and five orders of fries.)

Me: “So that’ll be $51.95. Is this for here or to go?”

Customer: “That’ll be to go, dear.” *sits down and waits for her order*

(A coworker helps me deal with the rest of the customers in line. While they come and go, the first customer patiently waits for a while, staring at her remaining coupons, before coming back up to the counter. She calls me over to help her.)

Customer: “I would like to remake my order, using these coupons instead.” *she presents five printed coupons for a “two can dine for $10.49” deal*

Me: “Um… Let me ask a manager to see if they can help out.”

(I find the closest manager and explain the situation, and my manager refunds the order and hands her back her money. She then proceeds to put in the same order, using the new coupons. These coupons come with two sandwiches, two medium fries, and two medium drinks per coupon, so her order now also includes ten orders of fries and ten drinks. When asked if this is all right with the customer, she responds that it was fine.)

Manager: “So, after putting in the new coupons, your total is now $70.08.”

Customer: “But each coupon is $10; that can’t be right.”

Manager: “It’s $10 per coupon, but this is also with your drinks and extra fries, plus your wraps.”

Customer: *slams down her refund money from earlier* “Well, this is unacceptable! I want my order done the way it was before!”

(My manager had to redo the order once again, leaving my coworker to deal with the rest of the crowded lobby. Our line-up didn’t get any smaller as long as she was there, who kept us busy for about 20 minutes to make sure her order was done correctly.)

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