Their Humor Is Fast And Moose

, , | Learning | October 3, 2017

(I am on a kayaking trip. We are learning about safety, and our instructor is sharing stories. He shares a story on how he can emit a moose call, and I am fascinated.)

Me: “Really? You can do a moose call? Can you do it right now?”

(He looks at me, then makes a big show of stretching and getting ready to emit this big call. He slowly brings his hands up to his mouth, holds them there, and then:)

Instructor: “HERE, MOOSEY MOOSEY!”

(It was hilarious, but I felt slightly embarrassed that I fell for it.)

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The Cuban Puppy Crisis

, , , , | Related | October 3, 2017

(My family has recently become proud owners of a six-month-old border collie. She has quickly become the light of our lives, but she becomes very attached to my dad right away. One day, my dad and I are driving with our dog in the back seat. She is really enjoying the ride, switching from one window to the other with a huge grin on her face. My dad looks in the rear view mirror and starts baby-talking to her.)

Me: “Aww, Dad, you really love [Dog], don’t you?”

Dad: *jokingly stoic* “NO!”

Me: “Yes, you do. You don’t use baby talk for anybody.”

Dad: “Cubans don’t love dogs!”

(My dad is half English, half Scottish, and very pale, so no chance of any Cuban heritage. I look at him, confused.)

Me: “But you’re not Cuban.”

Dad: *confused* “No, I’m not.”

(We sit there in confused silence for a minute or two.)

Me: “Then why did you say, ‘Cubans don’t love dogs?'”

Dad:Humans don’t love dogs.”

(The exchange was so funny, we now use it as inside joke every now and then.)

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A Howling Tornado Of Complaint

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2017

(Our town has an earthquake and a tornado in the same day. The earthquake is very small, but the tornado does a lot of damage to certain areas of the town, and also wipes the power out for a day and a half. Naturally, we close the store when this happens, and reopen once the power is restored.)

Customer: “I was supposed to have my computer back yesterday, but I came in to get it and you guys were closed! I want a refund!”

Tech: “We were closed because there was a tornado and there was no power.”

Customer: “I don’t care why my computer wasn’t fixed on time! I want it done now!”

Tech: “Since we were closed, because of the tornado and all, we couldn’t repair any of the computers that were booked in. We just reopened this afternoon, so I’m starting to work on them all now.”

Customer: “Well, when will it be ready?!”

Tech: “Probably tomorrow.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It was supposed to be ready yesterday, and now it’s not going to be ready until tomorrow?!”

Tech: “Yes. Because there was a tornado.”

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Those Who Teach, Can’t

, , , , | Learning | October 3, 2017

(I am in a concurrent education program, and I am about to start my last year at the school. As we are all excited for the upcoming teachers college program, I see a lot of new status updates about it. One catches my eye:)

Friend: “Tomorrow will be the last first day of school, ever, for me. I am so thankful to have made it this far, and so excited for what comes next. #teacherscollege”

Me: “You do realize that, as teachers, we are going to have many more first days of school to come; don’t you?”

(She quickly deleted the post.)

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He Wants No Treble

, , , | Working | October 3, 2017

([Coworker #1] is a Christian fellow who is always quiet and not at all into popular music. Our group is working on a technical problem. We need to establish the baseline signal for something and the lower we can get it, the better.)

Coworker #1: *after some thought, musing out loud* “So, really, it’s all about the baseline.”

([Coworker #2] and I start to crack up.)

Coworker #1: *embarrassed, and without meaning to escalate* “No; what I mean is, how low can we go?”

([Coworker #2] and I break out laughing.)

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